meltdowns at work

[orphanblack1]

Anyone else having these?? I'm 32+4 and in loads of pain with SPD. Some days are ok but other days, I find it excruciating to even get up from my chair at work and walk to the bathroom. Not sleeping well due to heat. Massive cankles and sausage fingers.

Everything just seems too much at work and I seem to be taking things way more personally than usual resulting in crying lots. I'm a lawyer and yesterday there were loads of criticisms levied at me over various things which normally I'd just stick two fingers up to but which resulted in my having a massive meltdown. Thankfully my best friend is one of the partners (male) so I was able to talk to him and he was telling me not to worry but it's embarrassing!!!!

The one that topped me off was when I'd managed to get myself out of my chair and walked to the copier to collect my printing (which only prints when you log into it). A bursary student was using it and I asked if I could jump in (as I could barely stand) and he said "I'm in the middle of something". I was like "well, I can't walk so you're telling me I've got to go to the other end of the office to use a different printer" and he's like "sorry". Now normally, I'd probably just tell him where to go (I'm pretty senior) but instead I walked (in chronic pain) down the other end of the office, where I then realised that one of the things I needed to print hadn't come through so I'd have to go back to my desk and back again. Cue massive meltdown at that point!!!

I've 19 working days left before maternity leave (only do 4 days a week) so not long to go but yesterday I was even tempted to resign (which would be very stupid as I get half decent contractual maternity pay!!)

Anyone else experiencing this, feeling stupid and guilty?!

I’m struggling at 26 weeks so cannot even imagine how you must be feeling! My job is fairly physical, visiting 7/8 different locations throughout the day with a lot of equipment and baggage. I dread transitioning from the car into the location all the equipment in tow, only to have to pack it all up again and move on to the next place I’ll be very glad to go on mat leave now!

Hey. Come join us on the spd blues thread.

I totally totally understand where you are coming from, as am having a similar experience. Weird combination of expectation that nothing has changed despite problematic pregnancy, with being totally ignored for a potential promotion, because you know, mummy track and all. Am considering leaving a place I thought I could have a career in because I'm feeling so totally misunderstood and cared for, which has rather surprised me (there is some wider context to it not just this).

However, this is not my first pregnancy. I know better than to make a decision like that now (and really, it would not be in my family's best interests to leave right now). I will go off, and reassess after baby is 6 months. But that will either involve a different experience from my current workplace or me looking for a new job.

But I won't forget how I feel right now, that I've been pigeonholed without anyone bothering to ask how I feel about my career rather than making assumptions, or that I've learned a lot about what I consider to be good people management (which I have experienced from some recently but not others).

Don't feel stupid or guilty, make sure your workplace is meeting your needs in pregnancy. Then recognise how powerful your hormones are (which are informing your reactions) and ride the wave rather than reacting. Make decisions in your best interests, not in the moment.

No SPD or anything but definitely experiencing hormone related meltdowns! Things are pretty shit at my work currently but I've been able to just get my head down and ignore it for the most part. But I've been in 2 meetings with my line manager where I've ended up in tears - it's mortifying as I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm sat at my desk in tears all day, which really isn't the case! I haven't cried at work in about 15 years before now

I feel your pain. I too had SPD with my last pregnancy. I realised that I had to start my mat leave earlier than expected because I could barely walk. The only reasonable adjustment they could have made would have been to allow me to lie on a bed all day 😂😂
To top it off, I went 10 days overdue and had to be induced, so ended up going back to work when baby was 6 weeks old instead of the 12 I had planned for.
Sometimes pregnancy doesn't pan out as you planned. I'd say, start your leave now before you're too exhausted!

Oh god, so sorry that you are all also going through this but also glad it’s not just me!

I agree re not making decisions now and the rational part of me (when I’ve calmed down and breathed!) knows to see how I feel after baby.

I’ve been wanting out of this profession for a long time and did a sideways shunt just over 2 years ago and things much better but def don’t feel fulfilled.

Will definitely come over to the SPD blues thread!!!

Have to say my line manager been great (she’s not a partner) as she only came back from mat leave with her second in jan so totally gets how I’m feeling and took control of one of the things yesterday and sorted it out. I did thank her and say what a great boss she is. It’s the males (apart from my bestie) who don’t get it.

Had to lie down on office floor twice yesterday to check baby moving as felt like I’d stresses him out with my upset!

I sympathise greatly with you. With my previous pregnancy I was on crutches for 13weeks before DS was born. Work was absolute hell and as I was on crutches I couldn't carry anything and so taking notes etc to meetings was non viable except for huge rucksack that was not meant to be carried around through offices in first place.
Boss was horrid to me saying that everyone gets sore during pregnancy and aches and pains. Clearly she has never experienced anything half the amount of pain. Didn't see the point of crutches or my constant moaning and crying. Being hormonal anyway during pregnancy and then adding extreme pain - I was just miserable towards the end.
Work then got really discriminating and I ended up being forced out far earlier than I intended to leave 5weeks before due date. I ended up pleading with midwives to be induced early and luckily due to movement concerns they agreed one week early. Such a huge relief to give birth and to be able to move without screaming in agony. Just to be able to lie down and get to loo was an absolute godsend. Yes there was the post birth pains but in comparison I was laughing.
Just hoping this time round I don't get it as bad as crutches and toddler don't mix!! Trying to take preventive measures like not spreading legs apart and getting in out of car and bed with legs together to try and minimise any spd. Will also start wearing brace as soon as I have any twinges (as annoying as it is) in the hope it may help and do something.
Work should really be more understanding. I'd have gone on sick leave if it were paid but sadly it wasn't. Just hell.
So I sympathise.