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Breastfeeding help

1 reply

birthofawoman · 26/07/2018 18:28

Posting this in 'Pregnancy' as I always get more replies here than I do in 'Behaviour/Development' (there should really be a 'Breastfeeding' topic)

My little bundle of joy is 10 weeks old. For the most part, feeding is fine (he's exclusively breastfed), but every now and then he'll be fussy and reject my breast, despite showing obvious signs of hunger. He did this at 3 weeks, and he's done it a few times on isolated occasions, and he's been doing it for a few days now (today being the worst of all). The only time I seem to be able to successfully feed him when he's like this is when he's half asleep. It's almost as if, if only he would remain calm and relaxed, everything would be fine.

When he gets like this everything will appear normal to me (breasts will have milk in them, his tongue will be fine - no thrust etc), but he'll seem frustrated at the breast for a reason unknown to me. When he got like this at 3 weeks I thought it was because my supply was dwindling, but I was later proven wrong. For the life of me, I can't work out what it means when he gets like this. It'll go like this...
He'll give me hunger cues, I'll approach him with my breast, he'll suckle a few times and then split out my breast, grunting and thrashing around in dissatisfaction. He'll also push off with his feet as if he's trying to move up the bed (we feed in a side-lying position). It'll then turn into him crying and outright refusing to latch. In such events, I'll try everything... stripping him down, skin to skin, giving him a bath, changing his nappy, changing/experimenting with feeding position... nothing works other than letting him get tired enough to feed when he's falling asleep.

It's really upsetting because I always fear he's not eating enough and will become dehydrated, as this can last for several hours between feeds.

Today I got the worst of it. I tried the bottle in desperation but he didn't take it. Eventually, I had to literally shove my nipple deep into his mouth which forced him to latch. He fed and fell asleep.

I cried several times today. I fear this'll happen again and it'll be this hell all over again. I wish I knew what his behaviour means, what the problem is and what I need to do. Not even the woman from the community breastfeeding support could offer me much help at 3 weeks. Also, he's been tested for tongue tie and there's no sign of it. I just want my poor baby to eat peacefully, and to never have to experience hunger and frustration when feeding. It's so sad to witness.

Can anyone help me here? Has anyone has experience of this behaviour? Does anyone know what it means?

I'd appreciate any thoughts/advice!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
userabcname · 26/07/2018 18:36

I had a very fussy feeder at around this time exactly! I actually used to not go out for too long as I was embarrassed to feed him on front of others because he made it such a performance! I think (and I am no expert) it could well be related to growth spurts / developmental leaps, teething and coming down with something (a cold/bug). I found it passed completely after 12 weeks - in fact 12 weeks marked a huge improvement in ease of brrastfeeding overall for me. Some tips I tried:
Stimulate your nipple before putting baby to latch. The let-down will be instantaneous which means more milk in before fussing can start.
Wind frequently and thoroughly.
Swap sides frequently. At the first sign of fuss, switch. Then switch back. You can do this multiple times.
Try the rugby hold - gives you a firmer grip on a wriggler.
Try rhythmic patting on the bottom or firm stroking on the back / face while baby feeds - can sometimes keep them calm.
Try not to stress out (I know so much easier said that done). Deep breaths, calm movements. Maybe pass to dad / grandma or whoever to help calm while you collect yourself. White noise/classical music can be a good settling tool and I found it calmed me too.
You're doing a great job! It gets easier!

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