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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Drugs and alcohol, 18 weeks pregnant, just found out.

54 replies

Tracey26 · 26/07/2018 16:40

I have been recreationally taking Cocaine and drinking heavily and smoking every weekend and just found out i am 18 weeks pregnant. I have booked an abortion for next Wednesday because I am absolutely petrified I have harmed my child. My heart is breaking and I feel absolutely helpless. I have had a scan and everything looks as it should but I don't believe in my heart that I could have done all of that every weekend and not harmed my baby. I'm just looking for advice, I am absolutely in bits, please No one make me feel any worse than I already do.

OP posts:
BBALLFUN · 26/07/2018 16:45

Hi. My friend did the exact same thing and has a healthy 8 year old girl now! You are 16 weeks so just go get scanned, if there's a heart beat- great! Then get scanned again at 20 weeks and you'll find out if any issues. Which ever way you go will be stressful so no need to give in and terminate now, may as well wait a few weeks as outcome is more than likely fine.

BBALLFUN · 26/07/2018 16:48

Sorry I clearly didn't read that properly before responding. I seen youre 18 weeks and have been scanned!! So just wait until the anomaly scan then, it's only an extra week to the abortion you've booked! If you think you feel bad imagine how bad you'll feel after an abortion! At least check the baby is ok first!

meow1989 · 26/07/2018 16:50

I think it would do you well to speak to someone medical (midwife, gp?) about any risks to the baby before you commit to a termination. For the record I'm pro choice but it sounds like you may not be 100% on this decision. Have you confided in anyone in real life? What's your situation like? Partner, family etc?

Regarding the drugs and alcohol, is this something you do truly recreationally or do you think you may need some support with this?

Although 18 weeks is getting on a bit, you do still have time to think through your options carefully before making a snap decision. If the outcome is that you terminate then you can do so knowing you've thought it through carefully.

Sorry you're in this situation Thanks

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 26/07/2018 16:53

If you want to have a termination that is entirely your choice but if it's just because of this issue then take a step back

I spent a very long time in drug and alcohol services and even specialised in one role in pregnancy and women so you know I know my stuff on this

The cocaine you can stop ,as hard as it is stop it, the alcohol if you are drinking daily do not try to stop on your own

Every area will have a specialist clinic for pregnancy and drugs or alcohol concerns usually accessed through the treatment services...go to them and they will get you seen quickly

Look lovely I'm not going to condone it at all but please listen I have seen far far heavier use ...heroin crack etc and the baby has been healthy

If you choose a termination make sure it's what you want

Have the anomaly scan and talk to someone....if you want this baby I promise termination is not your only option

Your hormones and panic will make this feel terrifying....make sure you know your options

Everyone makes mistakes

I'm actually not a drug user or a h3avy drinker but the weekend before my ds was discovered I was slamming shots at a birthday party...and he is happy and wonderful and my life....dont panic yet

furandchandeliers · 26/07/2018 17:01

I would wait for anomaly scan before terminating, it will most likely be fine x

Original poster
Tracey26 · 26/07/2018 17:04

Thanks for your replies! I don't drink or take drugs every day, its soley on a Friday/Saturday, but I do shots, down pints and have maybe 2-3g of coke when I do go out. I am absolutely heart broken and I DO NOT want to abort but I couldn't live with myself if I have harmed her. (I know it's a girl) I haven't stopped crying and am absolutely in bits. I can't believe I have done this to my baby. At the scan they said her brain looked like it had developed normally and she has all of her fingers/toes, her physical self looks fine but I can't help thinking about FASD and everything else. I'm so angry with myself! I have googled it and cant seem to find anyone that has been in the same situation so far on. Thank you for your replies again.

OP posts:
ADastardlyThing · 26/07/2018 17:04

I did some.....ahem......dodgy things before I found out I was Pg at 15 weeks and was devastated. MW said this was very common and every single time apart from one who used heroin too (but even then it might not have been the heroin) baby was absolutely fine.

With second DC I was on medication that is really not recommended to take when Pg but again,all absolutely fine.

sagasleathertrousers · 26/07/2018 17:10

If you're terminating just for that reason then there's a good chance you don't have anything to worry about. I have personal experience of a similar situation that turned out absolutely fine. I know that's just an anecdote but there's really a good chance you've done no damage at all just drinking at the weekends.

sijjy · 26/07/2018 17:14

There are a lot of people that don't realise they are pregnant. I was one of them. My dd is now nearly 18. Perfectly healthy. Very clever. Talk to a midwife. They can advise you.

ohdeardeardear · 26/07/2018 17:19

Don't just abort her because of this - you've realised how and stopping the booze and drugs will do you both wonders. Thanks

onemoremummy · 26/07/2018 17:57

Please don’t terminate your baby girl because of this. It’s VERY likely that she is absolutely fine, and will be a wonderfully healthy baby.
It sounds like you will really regret a termination.

She will be fine. And if she isn’t, for whatever reason, she will be loved and will be a great joy to you anyway!!!

CobaltRose · 26/07/2018 17:58

A friend of mine did ecstasy recreationally and drank heavily every weekend before finding out she was 20 weeks pregnant. She panicked and also considered termination, but the anomaly scan revealed a healthy baby boy.

Her son is now a healthy happy three year old. I'm very pro choice, but it's clear you don't want to abort. I'd wait until the anomaly scan before you make any rash decisions you may regret. Good luck!

Original poster
Tracey26 · 27/07/2018 13:55

Thank you so much to everyone, I have cancelled termination and i am waiting on my anomaly scan which I now know is next week, I'll keep you all updated. Thank you so much!

OP posts:
Hjkillas · 27/07/2018 13:56

Aww I'm happy you reconsidered.
Best of luck X Flowers

NEFink · 27/07/2018 13:59

I DO NOT want to abort

Im sure everything will be fine at the next scan OP. Hang in there Flowers

MiniMaxi · 27/07/2018 14:03

Best of luck OP!

WhatAnAbsolutePenis · 27/07/2018 17:24

3g of coke to yourself in one night?!
Good lord woman!
You must share that, surely?!

notnowman · 27/07/2018 17:47

I'd been going out drinking a lot, taking ecstasy and cocaine in the couple of months before I found out I was pregnant and I had a healthy baby, no problems at all and he's now a healthy teenager. So although it's not ideal I really wouldn't worry about it too much.

IDrinkAndISewThings · 27/07/2018 19:19

I'm glad you've decided to go for the anomaly scan, please update on this thread so I don't miss what I'm sure will be good news

onemoremummy · 28/07/2018 08:42

Such great news that you’re going for the anomaly scan. I hope all is well, and that hearing that will reassure you.

I’d even mention to the sonographer that you found out that you were pregnant quite late and are worried about your lifestyle in the beginning, they might be extra reassuring in that case! (I did ask a similar thing with mine and they were very, very reassuring!)

Original poster
Tracey26 · 07/08/2018 10:40

Hi guys, had 20 week scan, baby looks healthy and is very active! Thanks so much for all your replies again, you probably saved me from making a decision I would regret forever! Fingers crossed everyrhing goes well, still hugely concerned about FASD but nothing much I can do now other than be as healthy as possible 😭😪 xxx

OP posts:
MrsTaylor · 07/08/2018 10:51

Good luck! I'll be sending lots of happy healthy thoughts your way ❤

RLOU88 · 07/08/2018 10:57

I have known loads of people that have done this and found out late and all babies have been fine. I am sure your little girl will be too. It’s much more common than you think trust me x good luck with everything x

jennac · 07/08/2018 14:16

@Tracey26 absolutely fantastic news, so so pleased for you and that you made the right decision! Here's hoping for a smoother ride the rest of the way! All the best

sachabloom · 07/08/2018 21:03

Good luck keep us posted xx

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