Pregnant and partner doesn’t want it. Need someone to talk to.

[bleu18]

I have been on posts here before during the beginning of this pregnancy. I am now almost 12 weeks along. And I am happy. But my partner isn’t. You see this is not a common choice between us. Only I wanted it. And to be more blunt I did told him I was on the pill, I did thought I was past ovulation, but lo and behold, I did get those two lines.

I hesitated on telling him, even asked on here if I still should. Anyway, I eventually did told him, and he went ballistic. I told him if he does not want to father the child then it is okay, I would have no choice but I would make it work as best as I could to raise and provide for our child without him.

He is mad. And he prefers me to have an abortion. He has been telling me nasty words some I know I deserve for tricking him and for lying. And when I tell him I would give birth to our child and take him with me abroad back to Dubai as I have a chance to get back to my job in there, he has told me he would be making life hard for me.

I do not want an abortion especially since I know I am quite far along now. I am scared. And really do not know what to do.

If you felt strongly enough about having a baby to get pregnant without his agreement, you obviously desperrately want the baby. No point having a termination just because he doesn't want it. You can do it on your own and if one of your options is going to Dubai, so be it. Maybe you should go back before the baby's born, not afterwards, then he can't stop you.

@singlenotsingle he is pressuring me into doing it and constantly making me feel guilty saying I have deceived him and got to this mess with my lies and treachery. I am not washing my hands on anything. I know what I did is wrong, but I can’t even bear to think of doing it.

Could you get your job to transfer you elsewhere? It sounds like you are not local to Dubai and if you have to be a single mother somewhere and are no longer living the expat lifestyle Dubai hardly sounds like the best option to be honest (unless you have family / significant support network there).

Don't do it then, OP. He can't force you. It's not about him. It's about you and the baby. Tell him just to sod off!

IMO you need to choose - - him or the pregnancy. You can't have it both ways.

But he's right - you have tricked him. You now know his opinion on matters and have the following choices: single parenthood or termination. Chances are that he won't want to be with you any more no matter which one you choose, so don't let a future with him sway you - this level of deceit is normally too much for a relationship to take long term. Good luck!

@roeslein @singlenotsingle @t3xa @peodar

It all just spiraled down from him cheating and me going mental as well, and thinking I should start thinking of myself too. I did it, out of selfishness like he tells me.

7 years. Only to come down to this. I am not saying these to justify what I did. I know I was wrong, and I guess that thought is the reason why I still entertain him. That I did him wrong.

And naively thinking that maybe I could still change his mind. I did not ask him of anything. Just told him because he has the right to know.
I never thought he’ll come up with abortion, I guess that is the part that got me quite taken aback. That was not him. Or so I thought.

He’s just having issues with his company right now, but he has been pushing me everyday about it. And when I told him I don’t think I could do it, he sort of told that I should run now and that he is giving me a year or 2, and come and ruin me.

I think in my heart I have decided. I guess I was just still hoping he will come around.

You just have to provide your child without him, go back to Dubai if this is best for your child. You can not expect much from him when he clearly against it right from the start.

Ate you allowed settle in Dubai if you are unmarried with a child? I thought it was forbidden there.

Leave him out of your calculations. He's not part of your life now. Definitely don't go to Dubai if you are having the baby!

You lied to him and your relationship is over. At any rate, if he didn't want to start a family with you after 7 years, the relationship wasn't heading anywhere anyway.

If you want the baby I would be inclined to tell him that you are having a termination and breaking up with him, that you can't be a single parent etc etc. and then go off and have the baby in Dubai. Are you from there? Do you have a support network? Is it likely to get back to him that you had the baby anyway?

Whatever you do, don't stick around to have him on the birth certificate.

You are facing the very real possibility of having this man in your life, making you miserable for the next 20 years because of what you have done, so you're into damage control here at best.

I wish you and your baby well. He is trying to wear you down, don’t listen to him. As for tricking him he should have used contraception.

@plsbemyturn @bunnycarr @nynaevesedai @astoundedgoat @user1457017537

I can only come to Dubai after I give birth since I am unmarried. But once I give birth I can be the one to give him a visa and be with me with no issues.

I have my family’s support and I have a few trusted friends back in Dubai, but I would have to start from scratch. It will be hard but I will try, for my child.

He keeps on messaging me everyday and if he senses that I am really not willing to terminate he starts saying all these things.

He would say that we would still be together although he really do not want kids and if it's really my dream then he will help me have one, but not with him. I have told all my fears and the complications that should arise. But he has made up his mind that this is our only option.