High bmi during pregnancy

[Ruby09]

I have a high bmi, I’m aware of it and knew it was too high before my pregnancy. I’m also aware of the issues it brings during pregnancy and I understand them but now I actually can’t do anything about it.
My issue is midwifes lying to me because they are clearly worried theylll offend me by mentioning it. I have been prescribed aspirin 150mg until week 36 and when I asked why she stuttered and mumbled that it’s protocol for first pregnancy I have since learned it is not, it’s because my bmi is high.
At my first scan they couldn’t get measurements of baby’s head and I was told it was because baby wouldn’t move, reading my notes theyve written that they couldnt encourage baby to move because of my highbmi. Why not just say that? I’m not daft in when ell awareness that I’m fat! It’s just so frustrating. They’re medical professionals they should be able to say these things to people and I do not appreciate being lied to about it 😳

I really feel for you the way your midwives are behaving is ridiculous. Like you say it's about your medical care and they should give you the facts end of. I would specifically tell them that at my next appointment and if they're not willing to be straight with you I would look at other options of pregnancy care (although I don't know what that would be?)

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

There was a thread a couple of days ago where someone was incredibly offended the sonography had mentioned her bmi was causing difficulties with scanning her.

I can completely see you’d prefer them to be honest but I’m not sure they can win.

What is your BMI? Surely you would be Consultant led so they would have to say why?! Mad!

Not sure they can win???

Like OP said if they just say 'high bmi' is the reason it is not offensive or inappropriate and explains fully what's causing the difficulty. My midwife today was saying about being on the higher dose folic acid due to bmi and if it's over 35 you are consultant led she explained you will get more scans which is great and consultants have more experience scanning especially as it's difficult with high bmi.

I'm sorry about your midwife getting on like that I too would appreciate them saying that it's because of bmi. If they start faffing reasons to me I will just come out with it - "If X is due to my weight please just tell me"

I only mentioned it because I’ve never once heard someone say what you or OP has about wishing medical professionals would be honest about increased bmi being an issue and loads of posters over the year complaining they felt hurt or offended by their weight being brought up. I didn’t mean to upset anyone

There are often posts from people who say they’ve been made to feel bad about their bmi in pregnancy which must be awful so where the opposite is the case I’m sure it’s doctors and nurses trying to be nice rather than intentionally misleading their patients.

yep I’m going to be consultant led and they told me it was because of my bmi so just seems a bit daft to then go on and lie to me about the other things. I’m a nurse and would never dream of lying to my patients sometimes we have to have uncomfortable conversations and it’s all part of the job.
Very easy to offend people and I myself have experienced people being highly offended at things like this but it’s still about medical care so you’ve kind of got to as professional as possible and hope they can get over the initial offence.
My bmi is 36 and I know I’m overweight and perhaps if I was trying to become pregnant I’d have dealt with that beforehand but as I wasn’t trying losing weight wasn’t something I was ready to tackle At the moment in time.

It’s the lie that’s bothered me, telling me the aspirin was routine for first pregnancy when actually it was because I’m at high risk of pre eclampsia due to high bmi.

Completely agree with you. Wishing you a healthy happy pregnancy

I also know I’m not an easy patient being a nurse , we know too much and it makes us a nightmare at times when we are the patient 😂 so decided not to bring it up as to minimise how much of a pain I probably already am with questioning things and just came here to rant instead 🙈

@AnneLovesGilbert thank you very much!

Good luck @Ruby09 hope all goes well x

My friend is an ultrasound technician and always told me there aren't allowed to mention incase of offending as been far too many complaints to the nhs around fat shaming.

I too have high bmi and have aspirin at 75mg daily and consultant led. I always bring it up at start saying I know it might be difficult to get readings due to my fat layers so they have permission to mention it.

@Mhcb
That makes sense but after the scan the midwife is the person I’d expect to get the truth from especially as it says in my scan report that it was difficult due to high bmi.
Maybe I’m judging them by my own standards as a health professional but I just don’t like the lies put me on edge a bit. I hate lies no matter the situation

OP yes I expect health professionals to tell me the truth but like a PPs said there was a entire thread a few weeks ago by someone upset because a sonographer said she couldn't scan her due to her high BMI. The sonographer then went got a more senior sonographer to do her scan.

OP I think you need to make it very clear to them you are a nurse and you have a high BMI, then some of them will be more truthful. I have no issues telling them what family members and close friends do if it is relevant to the conditions I have so they know they can't bullshit me.

Btw there was a post, not sure on what thread, where a sonographer said their trust had changed their policy so they had to tell patients whether they had a high BMI.

Hi! My BMI was 34 at booking and 38 at 28 weeks. It has been mentioned, but far less than I thought it would. The only thing that has upset me was the RCOG leaflet I was given about the risks associated with a high BMI, but that only bothered me because it said I should've been given extra folic acid, I which I wasn't, and because it was a whole list of disaster scenarios without a single constructive comment or suggestion what to do. The midwife seemed/ shocked surprised I'd gained weight by 28 weeks. I wasn't, but it did annoy me because I have been given absolutely no advice on how to manage my weight. I've also had ongoing nausea from the start, which reduces when I eat, so that hasn't helped... Your midwives pussyfooting around your weight sounds off, reminds me of the consultant who mentioned my BMI was "slightly raised" - dude, I weigh 100 kilos, my BMI is over 35, you're not kidding me!

I’m bmi 36, but not been given aspirin. Not seeing consultant until 34 weeks. Also a nurse and could kick myself that I’m having to be consultant led when I’ve been mw led on my other babies. Damn you cake!

@Armygirl
I agree dam you cake!!!!! 😂😂😂

I'm a lot bigger (bmi is 40ish and I'm about 116kg at 37 weeks) I've found that everybody has just been straight with me about my bmi apart from the midwife. She really skirts around the issue like it makes her uncomfortable. It hasn't really bothered me tbh. A lot of people are touchy about their weight so I suppose they just like to play it safe.

They should have been straight with you about why you were put on that medication.
But also we are very sensitive when we are hormonal and being told we are overweight or underweight might trigger some very upsetting response s and I'm sure they want to avoid that at all costs.
They should have discussed your BMI and issues surrounding it although they never did with me so I guess they don't want to offend!