How to calm broodiness??!!!

[Youcandothis365]

I need to start by saying that I know that I am being ridiculous! I’m a level headed, 30 year old professional woman – yet I don’t seem to be listening to my own reason!

DH and I have been together 13 years and over the last few years have discussed having DC. From a sensible point of view, we are ready (well as ready as you can ever be to have kids). We have stable jobs, we are financially secure, we have a lot of family support and we’ve done everything that we wanted to do before having kids.

DH (who never wants/asks for anything) said that he would like one last luxury “adult” holiday before we start TTC. This is completely reasonable and we booked a 5 star, adults only, 2 week break at the end of November; objectively speaking, the holiday looks lovely but it is not somewhere that I could go whilst pregnant (zika virus).

The problem is I suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to have a baby. As stupid as it sounds, it’s a physical yearning; I feel like someone is pulling at my insides. I can’t stop thinking about babies; it is constantly on my mind. If there is a chance to have a snuggle with a baby, I’m like a crazy woman practically pushing people out of the way to get to them. As much as I fancy DH anyway, as soon as I’m ovulating, I’m suddenly all over him like a rash.

I've told myself that December isn't that far away, that it gives us more time to save, that I need to loose some weight before we start TTC anyway, but it is still all I can think about. I feel like I'm loosing my mind with it all!

It wouldn't be too bad if I could keep the broodiness to myself (actually it would as I’m driving myself crazy), but I’m hounding my DH about it. I’m constantly asking if we can cancel the holiday (which we would loose money on) and all my conversation seems baby related. By way of example, at a party this weekend someone took a picture of DH, my gorgeous niece (6 months old) and I and I sent it to him with the words “lets just cancel the holiday and have one of these 😉”.

I know I AIBU and utterly unfair on DH. Also, I am probably going to piss him off so much that it will ruin it when we do start TTC.

Can someone please tell me that this crazy broodiness is normal and I am not losing my mind? Also, does anyone have any tips to calm it down?!

Thanks

@Youcandothis I think as human beings we will always want something that we can’t have right now! I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to be desperate for a baby when, I think, women have something that just clicks on inside and makes them even more ready for a baby (unless that was just me!!)
Is there anything you can focus on for the next few months to take your mind off this?
Also just remember that after travelling to a zika country the virus stays in the sperm for 6 months so could be transferred in the fertilisation of the egg and trying to conceive in this time isn’t advised.
I hope the time goes by quickly for you!

I was going to say December isn’t far but on checking the NHS website,Wames is right. He shouldn’t try to conceive for six months after returning and you for two months.

That takes you to May. That is a long time, can you change to a different destination?

I'd not realised it was 6 months for him - it was booked on a whim before the major broodiness kicked in! I've just looked and you are completely right! I really don't know if I can wait that long without driving myself crazy!

Me and my partner were the exact same as this.. went to the Caribbean and I felt like I was waiting to come back whereas he was waiting to go.. it was the longest few months ever I won't lie.. and then we got there and on the 2nd last night we just thought let's get baby makingI didn't even think about it being a zika risk but anyway we didn't conceive and are still trying.. and the broodiness is still a daily struggle. However the holiday was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, we were so happy and made so many amazing memories and when we got back we were in SUCH a good place, which was a complete blessing considering the struggle we've had since with TTC. So no real advice here, but I feel for you and totally get it, but you have no idea how long it'll take to conceive, so cancelling the holiday won't instantly relieve your broodiness, I'd enjoy the holiday and have a lovely time and then come home and let what happens, happens.

I had my first baby a year ago and am already so broody for another, me and my partner are starting to try for another around the end of january/feb,ive been put off conceiving in December as the hospitals are always packed during the summer as everyone couples up in the winter and ends up getting pregnant, when I had my daughter theyhad to give me blankets instead of towels after my bath. I understand how far away it feels, i even find myself looking at baby clothes, i feel crazy, if i were you i would just keep looking forward to your holiday and spending time with your hubs, youll have a little bubba before you know it x

Thank you ladies.

I'm honestly gutted (and kicking myself) that I didn't look into and/or think about Zika virus properly before we booked the holiday. TBH, at the time we booked it, we were thinking about DC but in no rush.

As much as I'd love to, I couldn't cancel the holiday. It wouldn't be fair to DH - he would do anything for me and this is the only thing he's really asked for in 13 years. Plus I don't want him to resent it.

I just wish there was something I could do to calm this feeling. I feel so out of control with it all.

Thank you for listening to my ranting!

Enjoy your holiday first!! Although I would look at changing destination to somewhere where there's no zika virus risk if you can.

Could you perhaps change the location? So you can still go but can get to baby making straight away?

We went to a zika zone last year. Tbh the 6 months flew by and we started trying but I had an accident after coming back and got the map. The nurses were quite insistent on taking it and waiting the full 6 months x

Thanks Ladies.

From what I've read on the website, I think we could change the destination with a small charge from the travel agent.

The problem will be DH, as going somewhere with no zika risk rules out practically all of the Caribbean (which is where he had he heart set on). I will have to talk to him tonight (without annoying him with more baby talk) .

You can pay at a private doctors to have a test when you get back from the holiday. If Zika free you can start trying then. You only have to wait 4 weeks after getting back from holiday for the test. I did this, best money we've spent! Good luck x

Could you desire for a baby be related to turning 30? I know it sounds silly but I experienced the same thing at that age, partly because of the social pressure of the landmark birthday, partly because I always thought I'd have a baby in my late 20s but of course it didn't work out that way. By the time I'd turned 31 I'd accepted that I still had plenty of time (& am now happily pregnant aged 32). My point is that you'll probably feel more rational about it by the time you're TTC in May, & you may need that patience as most people need several cycles to get there. Good luck op!

@anydaynow2 that is brilliant news!!! Can I ask where you got it done?

@littlekitty1985 I don't think it is about turning 30 (I may be wrong). Logically, I know that I have plenty of time and I am still fairly young in terms of motherhood. I really can't put my finger on it - I've gone from thinking that it was something I wanted in the distant future to a "need" (I know this sounds silly). I don't expect that I'll get pregnant straight away; I think I'm just desperate for a date that we can start trying as I feel like I'm in limbo at the moment.

The more I write the more I realise I sound ridiculous and need a kick (I've spent nearly the whole day at work researching zika). Thank you again everyone!

It was at Nuffield health- Smithfield London.

I think was about 90 per person

Hi @Youcandothis365

Just to say after two years of trying and two cycles of ivf I'm an expert on where you can go on holiday without zika!

100% recommend Mauritius - was absolutely amazing, we went beginning of December and most importantly zika free.

Also had a luxury holiday in Oman which was fantastic but not sure how that'd be in December.

I'd switch if I were you - but I have a biased opinion after taking two years to conceive that I completely understand your impatience. We also had to wait an extra few months as the beginning as I got newly diagnosed as hypothyroid. The whole process was very patience testing!

Completely understand. The only thing that helped me was having a distracting project to work on. I started a PhD in my spare time so I was really wrapped up in that and it gave me something else to focus on whike I waited for dh to be 'ready'. Now I'm.nit suggesting anything so long term (still doing it obviously but it was something I've always wanted to do anyway) but some sort of aim or goal you've been putting off that you could obsess over instead of babies? Training for a marathon or something?
I do understand how you feel though and i think it is totally normal.

Completely understandable!
We had the same desire to do one last massive holiday - we went to Mauritius in the end. Absolutely lovely and no zika in sight. Actually found out I was pregnant there.

Thanks ladies.

I feel an overwhelming sadness today at the thought of not being able to try until May / June. I know we could go to the original destination and get tested when we get back and it may be fine, but I still feel sad about the fact we might still have to wait (sorry - I'm not articulating this very well).

I really want to change the destination now, but ultimately its DH's decision .

You're all right - I need to find something else to focus on (as this is driving me crazy). I just need to find something that will hold my interest!