antenatal classes - odd one out

[bumbly]

every one else seems to know each other as small village/midwife is their best friend (not fair!)/work together/went to school together - except me

every is totally prepared (nursery ready/bought all clothes/names in lines etc and confident for the arrival of baby - except me

everybody is actually looking forward to labour - expect me

really feel am the odd one out

and here was I looking forward to the classes in order to finally calm down and meet some like minded people in the same situation...but no

maybe I should quit them..

I am also the only person in the group that said I actually am looking forward to getting my life back after the preg as don't want all baby things and baby itself to rule my life - rather baby should be part of my life and share my life not dominate it

they looked at me as if was this completely selfish....

Bumbly I went first time round but didn't bond with anyone in particular, didn't go to the meet-up but that was more circumstances than not wanting to. Our catchment area was really large so only one girl lived within a couple of miles of me & I went to baby massage classes with her too so that's really when we got friendly, even so she's never been a close friend. Don't feel you have to bond with them it's nice to have people to talk to about the baby thing but it's equally nice to have people who don't want to talk about it 24/7. You & DP will probably do that & it's a relief to talk about something else, especially after a few weeks.
I'm a bit like RG this time round although when I went first time there was a lady there whose son was 17 & she felt so many things about hospital stay had changed that she felt the benefit of coming to a few. I'm going to a new hospital so I'm keen to see round the unit etc & possibly trying for VBAC, feel it's a bit early to make up my mind yet (16+ weeks till d-day).
Good luck with making new friends but they aren't something that you really have to get like a cot/car-seat

thanks for all the support..glad others have felt the same as me at some point....

at the moment i think what i will take from my classess is simply the "birthing" advice they give...rather than the getting along with "perfect mummy" everyone else

oh to be the black sheep of the group...

and the room for my lo is basically an empty shell with no paint or curtains or anything!!

argh!

Bumbly - I had to go to the hospital for our ante-natal classes as we were 'out of area' for the hospital we chose and there were 5 couples in the class. They were all from everywhere in the county so no-one lived near each other anyway.
I'm sure that you'll meet far more mums afterwards, when you've actually got a baby to chat about.
Are there any aqua-natal classes or yoga you could go to now to meet people if it worries you?
If not, have a chat with the midwife and tell her you feel a bit left out as you don't really know anyone. I'm sure she'll be far more friendly and helpful than you imagine.

Bumbly
Stick with it - it's the bit AFTER the birth when you will probably bond better with the other mums. That's when you are all going through the Oh My God What The Hell Is Going On Stage and look to each other for support. You might find that after a few weeks/months when babies stop dominating your every thought (yes I have to agree with the others - this will almost certainly happen at the start even if it doesn't last) that you might find you have very little in common with them. But by then you will have got what you need - empathy and support at what will probably be one of the most surreal times of your life. (Surreal can be good - it's just that you WILL become a different person...).
On the other hand you also might find you actually like some of the other mums and could make some lifelong friends...

I never made any friends at my antenatel groups which i really regret after ds was born until i joined a toddler group i didnt know anyone else with children. i am expecting another baby nov and intend to make a great effort to bond with other mums at antenatal groups.

I agree with Clara - stick with it, Bumbly. You will need support and someone to share stories with about childbirth, sleepless nights, nappies, etc. If it's any consolation, ds came home to a building site.

Re: nurseries, it's all very well having them done before the baby arrives, but frankly what's the point? The medical advice is to keep the baby in with you for the first 6 months to reduce the risk of cot death and it is much more convenient for breast-feeding. Ds is 16 months and in with us at the moment as he has been very unsettled with teething and it is easier to reach out, pat him and fall back to sleep than get out of bed to go into the next room...