Top tips for good mental health after giving birth

[PirateWeasel]

Apparently I'm 'high risk' for PND owing to several factors. It's very scary, and I'm really hoping I'm able to dodge the bullet, but just to be prepared I'd love to hear thoughts from those who have already had babies on how to look after yourself, keep your relationship with DH healthy, and stay sane in those first months. Someone told me a good one yesterday: "Self-care is not selfish. Your baby needs you to be well." I'm going to write them all down and pin them up somewhere so I remember them!

Same here. I've asked for an early visit from the Health Visitor so we can talk about what support is available post birth, and where to go for help.

I've drawn up a timetable of all the activities and groups running in my village, so I can have a bit of a schedule with the baby - I know from past experience that having a routine of some sort is good for me, even if it's just going to the village hall for a coffee with other mums.

I've got a list of people lined up to call if I'm totally frazzled as well - the type I can sob to over the phone at 3am or who can come and take him for a walk while I get my head together.

My current phrase is 'healthy mum makes a healthy baby', which I intend to repeat ad nauseam each time someone tells me I should be doing X instead of Y because it's best for baby. Having a mum who's not weeping into her cocoa is what's best for baby!

Having enough help around the house so you don't stress as much. This could be paying for a cleaner, getting some childcare for a few hours a week, etc. I found with my second that I could 'do it all's but out was stressful having a newborn and a toddler and mee ting both their needs so I got an pair in to help as my husband works crazy long hours.

I set up my expectations with people, especially my DP before the birth..
He looked after me.. made all my food and cleaned within the first weeks and it definetly helped

Accept that your relationship with your DP will be different.. and at times strained.. its bound to be when your both tired and cant always be physically as close as before. But remember its for such a short period of time!

Listen to your body and self! If your ready to go out and do things go for it.. but if you want to stay on the sofa for 6 weeks.... do that!

Getting out does help though, a bit of fresh air can do wonders for your mood.

Good luck!!

Get out of the house everyday if you can, even if it's only for a ten minute walk. I've had babies born in the spring and the winter and I can't tell you the difference being able to get outside for a walk made to my mental health, plus the fresh air is good for the baby too.

My tips would be:
Get a sling and go outside every day if you can
If you're planning on breastfeeding and are emotionally attached to that plan, think about how you will feel if you have difficulties and get some resources lined up. I had no idea how hard it would be, it totally threw me. Also prepare yourself for friends/family/random people on buses saying stupid judgey things to you and prepare your mental script to deal with this. (Next time I'm going with "thanks for your opinion" or "fuck off" depending on who and what!)
Prepare your partner for what you will need and expect. And prepare yourself for being disappointed if he can't meet your expectations.
It's fucking hard. I was terrified of falling into the abyss but I managed not too, mainly through stubbornness and walking miles and miles listening to Niravna with the baby asleep in sling.
Oh yeah, make some playlists 😍 the songs that remind you of the good times, the songs that remind you of the better times...!
Best of luck xx

Recruit help in the house, and anyone who can watch baby for a couple of hours while you sleep, sleep is sanity. Also agree you should try and get out of the house every.