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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Im scared

14 replies

mother2b · 29/05/2007 15:55

I am 20 and i am having a baby, i was really excited about being a mother but now im just scared im going to mess it up, im scared my baby will grow into a child that will hate me and im so afraid im going to ruin the one chance i have at bring my child up to be a beautiful respected young man/lady

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Mumpbump · 29/05/2007 16:00

I am afraid to say that it's entirely normal to feel like this! I had ds when I was 31 and felt the same! As long as you love your baby, I don't think you can go too far wrong. And I should think you will have a lot more energy at your age to handle a baby than I had! You'll be fine!!!

MaMonkey · 29/05/2007 16:01

I think everyone feels like that when they find out they're going to have a baby. Can I ask how pregnant you are?

When I was duffed I was emotionally all over the place and swung from wild elation to terrible despair in nano-seconds.

It is a huge life-changing thing, but it's also totally wonderful.

I think that the very fact you are asking these questions and worrying these worries shows that you are going to be a loving and caring mum who will bring up a perfectly respectable member of society.

EllieG · 29/05/2007 16:01

Oh sweetpea I reckon everyone is scared of that, you are not alone. I was PG recently and although happy, was equally terrified of the responsibility I felt for another little life. But you are pleased about being a Mum and there is no reason why you won't make a go of it. Everyone feels they aren't good enough, but you will be. No one's perfect, and mistakes happen, but (and I really do know this one) they don't harm children as long as there is a background of love and care for them. What a child needs is lots and lots of love, and a few mistakes are neither here nor there, and are easily rectified.
Have you got plenty family support? Friends to talk to? Do you have a partner or are you by yourself?

naturelover · 29/05/2007 16:02

I'm much older than you but also expecting my first child and have the same worries! You're not alone. You can only do your best and trust your instincts. The fact that you are concerned about being a good parent means you will probably be a good parent!

My only advice - and this is from someone with NO experience yet! - is to take one day at a time, make use of all the support around you, and set a good example to your child. Role models count for a lot.

Good luck and don't forget there are always lots of people on MN to give support and advice.

When is your baby due? Mine is due end of Aug.

EllieG · 29/05/2007 16:03

Crossed posts there - but agree v much with mamonkey - asking the questions shows how responsibiliy you are taking this and how much you care.

FioFio · 29/05/2007 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

beansprout · 29/05/2007 16:03

Having a baby is a huge, huge change. I felt the same (and I was 34!!). I think it just goes to show that you are thinking about the responsibility you are going to have which can only be a good thing. Don't worry, you don't have to bring them up all at once. First thing - give birth , then feed, change and allow to sleep for a few months. The other stuff comes later!

Keep posting on MN too and best of luck!!

Mindles · 29/05/2007 16:04

Mother2b, I was 20 when I got pregnant and I felt exactly like that. DS is five months now and he is growing into the most amazing little thing. I know it's really scary but you will be a wonderful mother to your child. You can email me (haley.griffiths @ gmail.com) or add me on msn if you want to talk (halleybop @ hotmail.com)

Mindles · 29/05/2007 16:05

I second MaMonkey's last statement You will be great

scorpio1 · 29/05/2007 16:05

oh, you will be fine i promise!

its obvious from your concern that you love your baby and that you will try really hard at it. i know how it feels to be a young mum - ihad mine at 17 and 19. go to playgroups, mum&baby clube, etc - all these things will help you settle into it.

You will be fine ! and ongrats. how pg are you?

Original poster

mother2b · 29/05/2007 16:16

my baby is due in dec (18th) so i know i have a long time to worry, i think im going to take after my mum who is natually a worrier and PARANOID. im worried because DP is SOOOO laid back im going to look like the dragon all the time, but still dont want them to be able to walk all over us

OP posts:

Mindles · 29/05/2007 16:17

Ooh that's the day after my birthday - fantastic time to have a baby My mum is a worrier too. Actually let's not mince words, my mum is well and truly neurotic. Don't worry, you will still be the best mum your baby could ever want.

Mumpbump · 29/05/2007 16:21

Don't worry - you can't do much in terms of discipline for the first couple of years - they simply don't understand cause and consequence or right and wrong. By the time you get to the point where it becomes relevant, it'll all be old hat and you and your dp will have worked out your own style of parenting!!

WriggleJiggle · 29/05/2007 16:29

Great post from MumpBump - discipline means absolutely nothing for such a long time (dd is 13 months and the only bit of 'discipline' she has is a firm, but calm 'no' when she tries to play with the telephone, and to be honest, I can't blame her for that, I shouldn't have left it at her height. For the first 6 months they hardly move or do anything apart from sleep and feed anyway.

dd just wouldn't understand any thing else at the moment. So you have at least 14 months to get to grips with it all and (hopefully) longer .

The fact that you are concerned at all shows just how great a parent you will be.

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