Overdue and ex has pushed me to my limit

[AKP79]

I’m overdue and my ex of 6 years has just pushed me over my threshold.

He regularly gets DS’s hair cut and I hate the style he has it cut in. I’m convinced it does it to upset me because he chooses his moments brilliantly - before school photos, before my wedding to my current partner etc. I have asked him not to, but he still does it so I now just bite my tongue and ignore in the hopes that one day he’ll get bored.

Last Weds I got DS’s hair cut so that it looked nice for any baby photos when the baby arrives. It was a lovely classic hair cut and DS looked very handsome. However, yesterday the ex took DS to get his haircut with a number 1 shave all up the sides.

I’m hormonal, aching all over, overdue and this really has tipped me over the edge. Just had to get it off my chest. What a horrible thing to do, DS knows he’s only just had his haircut so it feels like he’s using him as a possession just to upset me.

He's trying to get a reaction. So ignore it or pretend you love it.

He’s a twat. Must have been very confusing for your poor son.

Sorry you’re feeling so rubbish. Hope your baby’s here soon she all goes well.

You know he’s doing it to get to you so you’re taking the right approach by not letting him see you’re upset.

Thanks ladies. You’re so right, it’s hard to be level headed when there’s so many hormones flying around.

I suffered with PND with DS and I have been working hard to keep myself in check this pregnancy. This has made me cry and cry like I would in those PND days so I think I’m also doing a bit of worrying and catastrophising.

Pretend you love it. He won't do it again!

Absolutely text him saying how much you love it. Did you mention about having it nice for baby photos?

No but DS told him that it had been cut in the week for when the baby was born so he looked smart.

Ex apparently told DS that he needed it short for when he takes him to
Croatia in 2 weeks time. What a load of bollocks!

I just said ‘oh ok’ to DS and told him he looked very handsome. I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable.

What does your DS think and want? His views are most important here.

It’s not that straight forward unfortunately. His dad manipulates him regularly and he is at an age where DS tells him what he wants to hear. This is why I don’t want to question DS too much as it just puts too much pressure on him.

I think the worst thing is the message it sends to DS that he’s had his haircut on Weds and 3 days later his other parent cuts it again.

DS used to want to grow it out longer like a couple of his friends at school have, but his Dad told him he looked stupid and like a girl. It wasn’t even past his ears... so this is the kind of thing we’re dealing with!!

I can see why he is your ex. He is a shitty father using your DS to get at you like that and it must be confusing for your DS. Sounds as though you handled it well with DS and in time he will see ex for the manipulative turd he is. Hope baby comes soon.

Thank you that’s nice to hear.

Yes he’s an absolute arse. Was having an affair when I was pregnant with DS. DS and I were very ill when he was born -DS was born with meningitis. Then 2 months later he told me he didn’t love me and left which was when I discovered the affair.

Wow what an arse! I agree with others and don't show a reaction to ex. You sound like a great mum x

Thank you, just what I need to hear right now.