Unexpected Pregnancy no3 catch 22

[Saehill]

Hi,
First time poster. Really needed to talk to someone but didn't know who.
I've just found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. I have a d's 13 and d's 3.5 and a step son who is 11. This would be the 4th in our family.
I don't know what to do or how to feel.
Me and my husband have been together for 10 years and had a child each from previous relationships. I have also had an abortion after my first son before meeting my husband as my ex was not a nice person and being a young mother at 17 and my d.s being nearly 2 at the time I could not continue with the pregnancy for my mental health would not cope and I couldn't have a connection with this man for life.
Now I'm 30, other half is 38 .it took us nearly 3 years to conceive d's 3.5 and my feeling from that pregnancy test is nothing to what I felt yesterday taking this one.
My heart tells me it amazing, a baby, a life and could be the daughter I've always wanted. But my head tells me we have no room in the house, not enough money as we already struggle now. I've changed my career a year ago and have been working part time but just yesterday I was offered a promotion with extra hours and pay starting in September when my youngest starts full time school. I am only now starting to feel like a person again and not just a mum and wife.
My other half agrees with all pros and cons and doesn't think we should continue with the pregnancy as it would brake us.
I'm not sure how I will cope mentality with going through with an abortion at this point in my life, and fear the regrets and actually wanting this baby but knowing In the flip side I don't how i would cope having another baby and losing myself again 😕
My previous pregnancies were horrific all the way through but childbirth was fine.
So many mixed emotions and the hormones don't help.

Can any one offer any advice or been in a similar situation?

Thank you and sorry for rambling on 😊

Hey, first of all I'd like to apologise that no one has commented on your post so far as you clearly need a lended ear. I'm currently struggling to keep my eyes open but I'll try my best to finish at least this message lol I was in almost the same situation as you a few months ago. Minus the job and promotion. I had my youngest 1 year ago, it's his birthday on Monday, I have another son who is ten and I'm pregnant with my third... 28 weeks pregnant. It happened very quickly and we were already In a diabolical situation financially as I don't work and neither does my partner. I completely understand how you feel on all account because I too had an abortion when I was 16, I struggled mentally after that and it has always made a huge impact on my life but the worst thing is, none of pregnancies have been good situations and I'm somewhat ashamed to say that abortion has been considered everytime. I understand you wanting to be your own person and only now feeing like you can, I felt like that before my youngest, I was training hard to join the TA then I found about I was pregnant. Funnily enough I was training to join the navy when I found out I was pregnant with my eldest. Everything happens for a reason and maybe your not meant to take this job just yet, maybe something better awaits you and this baby has been sent to you at this time for a reason. I also understand having no room, I'm currently battling an ongoing situation with my landlord and the council etc as I live in a two bed flat with two children and one the way and my partner of course and we're being evicted with no promising outcomes ahead so far. But again, everything happens for a reason.

What does your heart tell you. Better yet what does your gut tell you to do. Because that is what you have to listen to. If your gut is saying a termination is a bad idea then forget all the cons (we did that too and they far outweighed the pros) and you continue with this pregnancy. If your gut says keeping the baby is a bad idea then you have to drown out your heart and make that tough decision but you make it abundantly clear that you will need your husbands support afterwards becuse you aren't entirely sure how you will cope. On the other hand could the effects of a termination jeopardise your current job position ie your mental health. I hope I've helped in some way and not made it more difficult for you, I'll message again tomorrow if you reply. Whatever you decide make sure it's the right decision for you nm what anyone else says.

Night night xxx

I was on be same position with an unexpected baby number 4 I honestly cried for about 6 weeks and booked in for termination but in the end just decided I had to go ahead as I couldn’t process having a termination I’m 30 weeks now and really looking forward to the baby . Let the initial shock wear off .

Yeah I cried alot too and we had a termination booked but also didn't go through with it. Right at the last minute my partner, who had been very much on the con side, change his mind. We honestly couldn't be in a worse situation financially and with our living situation but I believe it will all come together and this baby has come now for a reason. My biggest fear believe it or not was how my mum and dad would react. And I'm also 30. But they actually took it really well