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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Colleague getting annoyed with my toilet habits

73 replies

HoneyMonster12 · 14/07/2018 08:22

I travel around a lot with my job on a daily basis visiting several locations. I have a work partner and we often have to make 7/8 different calls in a day which can often be an hours drive initially and then 25/45 minutes in between visits.

I’m 25 weeks pregnant and I get so dehydrated if I don’t drink 2/3 litres of water a day, however, this means I am constantly needing the toilet so my colleague who is the one who does most of the driving is getting quite annoyed. It can’t be helped but I’m now in a position where I’m too worried to ask him to stop as it often means we have to pull over and look for a toilet on the sat nav

I’m not sure what I can do, if I speak to my employer there’s not much they can do, as they can’t monitor his behaviour 24/7 and equally I’ve still got 3 on the left of working with this man so I’d rather not rock the boat!!

OP posts:

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Original poster

HoneyMonster12 · 14/07/2018 21:36

Excessive*

OP posts:

surreygirl1987 · 14/07/2018 22:17

I'm shocked at those who are saying she is drinking excessive amounts, or blaming her! No - 2-3 litres is perfectly fine. 2 litres is a good amount for non-pregnant people to aim for anyway and has all sorts of health benefits. Most people do not drink enough water as it is. And as for the person who seemed to imply you should drink less in pregnancy... not at all. Pregnant women should be drinking more water, not less, and dehydration is a real issue. In this heat especially! She is obviously not dehydrated BECAUSE she is drinking plenty of water! If a few hours goes by and I haven't had to 'go, I know I've not drank enough water. Also, holding it in, or not drinking enough, often causes UTIs. I was warned about this by my midwife.

I actually ended up getting a boss fired when she tried to limit how much water I drank in a previous job a few years ago (wasn't pregnant at the time). Her partner actually needs to tread carefully here. 2-3 litres of water a day is NOT unreasonable and pregnant women DO often need to go to the bathroom more often. I'm a schoolteacher and during the school day I need to go at least every hour. Thankfully I am able to but if anyone tried to complain about it I would go to HR and there would be trouble!

InNeedOfALieInNow · 14/07/2018 22:32

Can you plan your day better so you’re aware of places you can stop on your route in advance. I can imagine it could get annoying if you’re having to stop to find a services etc. So if you know you’re going from a to b to c to d just plan that there’s a loo at b and here’s the address of one between c and d.

Original poster

HoneyMonster12 · 14/07/2018 22:39

surreygirl1987 Thank you very much! You are so right! And yes I will try to plan stops better, it’s hard as I find I’m drinking water to try and keep myself awake and alert as I find I’m falling asleep in between visits on the car journeys which isn’t ideal as I’m still classed as at work

OP posts:

Vajazzler · 14/07/2018 22:42

Surely if you pee before you leave for the first journey and pee at every location you visit it shouldn’t require a diversion to a toilet stop?

Namechange128 · 14/07/2018 23:13

Agree that falling asleep in the car is really not ideal - do you think that it might be things like this that are also getting on his nerves? Have you had a lot of physical symptoms /issues throughout pregnancy? I'm also deep in the third trimester and drinking loads of water and often on the loo but would be a bit fed up with a colleague who needed the loo unpredictably on the road and was napping on the job, it seems unprofessional and would suggest you should be off work already.

Worth having a chat with him about how you can manage together, but really you need to time your loo visits and get more sleep.

Original poster

HoneyMonster12 · 14/07/2018 23:55

I’m not falling asleep in the car. I’m doing things to stop myself, it’s very easy to get sleepy being pregnant sat in a car with someone who doesn’t make conversation and doesn’t have the radio on! I must clarify I am very professional, but just a tired pregnant woman working out the house for 12 hours a day who needs the toilet a lot!

OP posts:

Original poster

HoneyMonster12 · 14/07/2018 23:58

And I don’t use the toilet on home visits as it’s unprofessional to use people’s toilets in their homes. Hence the issue, had I of had an office job there’d be no issue as constant access to toilet

OP posts:

Poptart4 · 15/07/2018 00:37

How often are you stopping to use the toilet?? This is important because if its excessive you can't blame him for getting frustrated.

I know you cant help it but that's not really his problem or at least it shouldn't be. Driving all day is very tiring, adding in extra detours would annoy most people.

Is there any other job you can do within the company? Its clearly not practical having you in a car all day, is there an office based aspect in your job that you could do for the last few months before your maternity leave?

IncyWincyMouseRat · 15/07/2018 09:49

I’m not really sure why it’s unprofessional to use the toilet at a client’s home? Surely they, and your employer, are aware that you are a functioning human with a bladder? Do you also turn down a glass of water or a cup of tea incase they realise that you are a biological organism and not a robot?

Bizzare!

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 15/07/2018 10:09

At 25 weeks surely your bladder isn’t really effected by pregnancy? First trimester it is as your uterus is still in your pelvis, then it pops out and your bladder is not squashed until later in pregnancy I thought?

Same with the tiredness... I thought that was a first trimester thing? I’m on my third pregnancy and those symptoms eased off once I was in my second trimester...?

ThanksItHasPockets · 15/07/2018 11:02

I don’t think any reasonable person would think it unprofessional if a pregnant woman asked to use the loo. Surely the easy answer is to ask your clients if you can use the loo at the end of your appointment.

ThanksItHasPockets · 15/07/2018 11:05

I do, however, wonder if you need a GTT. Extreme tiredness, thirst, and frequent need to urinate could be simply reactions to the hot weather but they’re also classic symptoms of GD.

Ollivander84 · 15/07/2018 13:24

Ask to use the toilet - I work a PT job as a home carer and I use the toilet as otherwise there's nowhere to go when I'm driving between calls. Just say "do you mind if I use your bathroom?"

BlueBug45 · 15/07/2018 14:08

@NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking it depends.

Some women have nutritional deficiencies, typically iron deficiency anaemia, so end up tired all through their pregnancy. There as for a lot of women the tiredness comes back in the tired trimester. Also in this situation the colleague is a boring fart and sitting as a passenger in a car not doing anything sends people to sleep.

With the bladder, if you have a very kick/wiggly baby then you will end up going to the toilet a lot. Added in drinking too much then you will be on the toilet all the time.

MissLingoss · 15/07/2018 14:17

How often are you stopping to use the toilet?? This is important because if its excessive you can't blame him for getting frustrated.

I know you cant help it but that's not really his problem or at least it shouldn't be. Driving all day is very tiring, adding in extra detours would annoy most people.

Must also be having an impact on clients, surely? Don't these detours make you late for appointments?

Original poster

HoneyMonster12 · 15/07/2018 14:22

MissLingoss No, we don’t give times as the nature of the job could mean we are much earlier or later than expected if things take longer or traffic

OP posts:

Bumdishcloths · 15/07/2018 14:22

Sounds like an odd job unless you're in visiting care/community nursing as a double up team. Regardless, it's not unprofessional to request to use the toilet at a home visit, particularly if you're pregnant. It would certainly create less of an impact on your colleague. I can understand his frustration if you're actively avoiding using perfectly serviceable Lois and making him take detours.

OliviaStabler · 15/07/2018 14:27

I don't think it is unprofessional to ask to use the bathroom on a home visit. It would not offend or upset me in the slightest.

If you are visiting a business then go to the bathroom when you arrive and before you leave.

helacells · 15/07/2018 14:59

Ask for your own car

surreygirl1987 · 15/07/2018 15:21

Again, as a schoolteacher I fall asleep on the bus on school trips even when NOT pregnant and nobody has ever suggested I'm unprofessional! If there is no work to be done while sitting in a car does it really matter?! Still appalled by some of the replies on here. Usually on this forum I think pregnant women often need to get a grip and just deal with things, but in this case I feel really sorry for how the OP is being attacked on here!

Bezm · 15/07/2018 16:20

Surrey girl, if you fell asleep on the bus whilst on a a school trip you'd be in big trouble yourself unless yo happened to be an extra adult and not in any way in charge. It would be just like falling asleep in class !,,

surreygirl1987 · 15/07/2018 21:22

Actually it's not the same at all but thanks for your attempt at insight. It might be worth being aware that I have never been on a school trip without a decent number of teachers on each coach. And I can assure you that I have never been in 'big trouble' for it - and nor has any other teacher I have ever worked with. I presume you aren't a teacher! Anyway, regardless of your opinion on that, OP is clearly not in charge of children in the car in question is she...?

MamOfFrankie · 15/07/2018 21:43

Jesus, people are very negative on this thread aren't they?
You should be drinking 2-3 litres a day in this heat when pregnant. Dehydration can be a very real risk. I would not be putting the health or myself or my unborn child at risk because of someone judging my toilet breaks. In fact, when women complain of frequent urination the thing the midwives absolutely stress is not to reduce water intake.
And then judging someone who is working 12 hours shifts travelling around as a passenger in what is probably a hot car, with no conversation and no radio! I would be drowsy in that situation without being pregnant.

www.babycenter.com/0_frequent-urination-during-pregnancy_237.bc

The link above has some information for everyone slating this woman - no the need to per frequently does not decrease in second trimester, no you should not drink less water. Male colleague gets paid more for doing the driving so he can like it or lump it!

FatCow2018 · 16/07/2018 06:21

Male colleague gets paid more for doing the driving so he can like it or lump it!

Really?! He gets paid to do the driving, so should just be happy to ferry the OP around looking for a toilet several times a day?! 4 pregnancies here, managed to get through them without being a total pain for everyone else. OP needs to use the loo at her clients, or stip over-hydrating. 2 litres of water a day is plenty! And that's the whole day. 3 litres or more is just unnecessary.
Imagine being the colleague and having another 15 weeks of this

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