Positive stories after MMC

[Hotdamndiggitydam]

Sorry, don’t want this to make people worry (it probably would have done with me, so I feel a bit iffy posting this) but just got back from my 12 week scan and finding out our baby didn’t make it past 8 1/2 weeks. I’m trying to stay positive but my head is all over the place. I had horrible morning sickness, I had stretching cramps, I had extreme fatigue and this never stopped.

So I’m just looking for some words of hope from people who have suffered miscarriage and gone on to have a healthy pregnancy. Don’t know if this is even the right forum any more. The midwife said recurrent miscarriage is rare and more people that you would know go through this. I’m just hoping this is the dark cloud that makes our next pregnancy even more special.

TIA for any advice.

I lost my first in 2015. Early 2017 I had a boy (would have been earlier but we waited until what would have been the due date before TTC). 12 months later I had my second boy.

So sorry you’re going through this.
I had 2 miscarriages last year, one mmc (found out at 8 weeks baby hadn’t made it past 5) and one blighted ovum (which we found out about at a 10 week reassurance scan) I think that 2 in a row is pretty rare though.
However I’m now sat here feeding my gorgeous 3 week old baby boy.
It’s a really really crap time so please look after yourself. xxx

My first two point pregnancies were both discovered to be MMC at the 12 week scan. In both cases they think the foetuses stopped developing around 9 or 10 weeks. I was very worried that there was an underlying cause but I then went on to have two completely normal pregnancies and healthy children afterwards. I think it’s sadly just so much more common than we often realise. Doesn’t stop it from being a horrendous experience though. Hope you’re getting lots of support.

Thank you everyone. I think it’s taking a while to sink in. I really took it on the chin at the hospital. Hubby was in bits but I managed to stay quite normal. Kind of like I expected it. It’s only hit me since I got home.

It’s so good to hear you all had your happy endings, it makes me feel so much better. We’re you offered early reassurance scans after the first?

Luckily I told people close to me about being pregnant, and I’ve always said if things went wrong I’d need their support and I’m so glad I did.

The shitty thing is we’re booked to go to Rome on Wednesday. The midwife said it wasn’t a problem and they’ve booked me in for medical and surgical so I can have either before we’re due to go. I know there will be pain and bleeding but I can’t help but think we’d be silly to stay at home feeling like shit than trying to salvage something from a shitty time.

2 MMC then 2 month later pregnant with Ds who is now 5 months

Sorry you’re going through this.
I had a MMC last year, two months later got pregnant again and now about to hit the 3rd trimester. It’s a horrible thing to go through but it does get better and most likely it will just be a one-off. I was offered an early reassurance scan by the EPU which I went to at around 8 weeks.
Also definitely go to Rome and try to enjoy yourself! I felt much better when I was out and about doing things rather than just sitting at home (although appreciate that everyone is different). And with regards to pain, I had very bad cramps and back pain when it all started but it was over within a few hours along with the heavy bleeding. After that I felt pretty normal physically so you might not necessarily be in pain while away.

I’m so so sorry for your loss . I know you will both inevitably feel really raw right now but I do think the trip away will be good for you both. The first few weeks/months are the hardest but getting away from it all will probably feel like a slight relief rather than moping around at home.

I had two MMC last year at 11 and 12 weeks. My main advice is to opt for surgical management. I almost died having medical management and whilst I appreciate what happened to me is fairly rare, you will see so much blood and clots and other gruesome things your mind can’t possibly prepare itself for, the pain was also excruciating. I didn’t have to see anything gory with surgery and I was in and out within about eight hours. The bleeding wasn’t as heavy after surgical either.

I am now 23+5 with a healthy baby so there is light at the end of the very dreary tunnel. Again, I’m so sorry this has happened. Be kind to yourself

Also had no pain with surgical.

Thank you so much ladies. I’m so glad you all got your precious babies. It really gives us hope! :)

I had a MMC in 2004, discovered at 15 weeks but baby stopped growing at 10 weeks.

I had healthy children in 2005, 2009, 2012,2013 and 2016.

Please don't worry OP. I know its difficult, I peed on a thousand sticks in my first successful pregnancy but sometimes it really is just 'one of those things' which are horrid and shocking at the time but have no bearing on the future.

Sorry also had surgical management, I was too sensitive for medical.

I had a MMC in 2009, then went on to have 3 healthy girls with no other miscarriages. It will be ok. Love and hugs to you xxx

Such a sad and desperate time.

33 months I had 3 little and gorgeous healthy babies.

I still wonder about my little lost soul though I wouldn't change what happened. It wouldn't be the way it is otherwise.

I also opted for surgical management both times and found it helpful to have a sense of it being ‘over’ more quickly.

My situation was very similar. First pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage in April. I was supposed to be 12 weeks, but a scan revealed baby hadn't developed past six weeks. I had to have a D&C.

Two weeks ago (June 26th), I found out I was pregnant again ❤ I'm only six weeks so it's still quite early, but I'm trying to stay positive and take it day by day. Good luck x

I had the surgical procedure to. It was a horrific time but i felt weirdly clean after and barely bled at all.

Also I asked to see my baby. That helped too. The surgeons were excellent.

You do get contractions. That shocked me. And it was painful.

Being away together somewhere new may well be a good distraction.

It is horrifically sad. I'm sorry.

Thank you everyone. After a pretty awful night for both of us, I think we’re getting our head around it.

I think I’m going for the medical management. I’m expecting it to be bad and know I’d probably have it easier with surgical but I’ve never had GA before and it terrifies me. By the looks of it, they’ll allow us to come straight home having taken the tablets and I think that will make me more comfortable. I think this is the worst part that you know you’ve lost your baby but you know it’s still not at an end. You can’t recoup, you know you still have to go through more pain.

We have been looking at the positives and we know it could be worse, we could be further along, our foetus could have been fully formed and we could have got to the point where we started to know and bond with our baby. I was so ill with morning sickness that I didn’t really think beyond how I felt, which may be a blessing in disguise. Although it’s massively confusing that my symptoms got worse around the time the heartbeat stopped.

We’re both late twenties so time is on our side. I’m sure the next few days will be emotional turmoil but taking it one day at a time.

It feels weird to say but there is solace in the fact that so many others have been through it, even though you wouldn’t wish this on anybody. But the positive stories have been amazing to read, seeing you come out the other side. Thank you all for helping me through this

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP. Take the time to look after yourself.

I fell pregnant in 2014 but sadly lost my baby Riley @ 17 weeks (I only found out I was pregnant at 11 weeks) it was such a horrendous time. I then fell pregnant again in 2016 (I had tablets to help me fall pregnant) so I had an early scan at 6 weeks and saw 2 sacs but they were small and was due to go back for a scan 2 weeks later but started to bleed which was the start of a miscarriage and this was a few days before Christmas :( in April 2017, I fell pregnant naturally again, but again started bleeding around 5 weeks which was another miscarriage.
After this 3rd miscarriage I was referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic, anyway in September 2017 I found out I was pregnant again! I was booked in for an early scan at 6 weeks and saw a little blob with a heart beat , I was scanned every 2 weeks from then until 12 weeks and got to see my little one grow. 17 weeks came round and I booked a private scan for reassurance that everything was okay and we found out it was a boy 💙 .. fast forward to April (I was due in May) I get induced at 38+1 as he's measuring big, and after a very tiring labour & emergency c-section, I have my very beautiful and healthy little boy. He is now 11 weeks old.

So it will happen for you soon 💜 I wish you all the luck in the world! And I'm glad you have people around you for support xx

Thank you @littlefox01. So glad you’ve got your precious boy.

I’m sure it will happen for us, when the time is right. X

So sorry for your loss. I found out at my 12 weeks scan that baby had stopped developing at around 8.5/9 weeks too. That was on 19th Jan this year. I'm now 20+3 weeks pregnant again, found out 2 months after the MMC. There is hope. X

Thank you and congratulations @sunflower2018 that’s really good to hear

Hi ladies,

I’m hoping this thread is still active and sorry for long post! I have a 7 year old dd from previous relationship and with her had full blown symptoms from day 1.
My husband and I have been ttc for over 18 months, we’ve had lots of tests done mine came back fine but hubby has low sperm parameters across the board.
We had an early mc at 5 weeks in April last year and a mmc in June last year, which was a blighted ovum and I had the op where you are awake as they said the recovery was quicker and less chance of damage. With both I knew something was wrong and with the second it was a loss of symptoms.
Fast forward 12 months and two days before we are due to start on our ivf journey, I find out I’m pregnant! The midwife wouldn’t send me for a scan because I’d only had 2 previous mc’s. But at 8 weeks I had a loss of symptoms again, so she agreed. My u/s revealed a baby with a h/b (furthest we have ever got!!) but said I was measuring a few days behind at only 7+4. They weren’t too concerned by this as I ovulate usually day 16 and have irregular cycle lengths.
However, I’m still petrified I’m having another mmc. My symptoms have still not returned since I lost them. My breasts don’t really hurt and I can still sleep on my front. My nausea has gone and I’m not really peeing much in the night, maybe once but I’m still drinking fluids late.
I’m currently 9+5 according to scan or 10+1 lmp, should I be concerned with these loss of symptoms still??
Midwife won’t rescan as h/b seen and no bleeding and 12 week scan is not until fri 17th Aug, which is 3 days before we are due to go on our family holiday.
I’m driving myself mad with worry that baby has died and I’ll have to have d and c the day before we go on holiday, which means I won’t be able to really do anything because of bleeding and risk of infection, not to mention devastation of third loss. I’ve been told to have medical management so they can conduct tests.
Should I be this worried about symptoms and mmc again. Thanks for listening and sorry to everyone else for their losses xx

@Flossylolly85 , I'm so sorry to hear about your previous losses but congratulations for this new pregnancy. If I remember rightly I had lost symptoms of being pregnant around 9 weeks, I then got some symptoms back at around 13 weeks. I know it's so hard not to worry after having losses but take each day at a time. It's a good sign that there has been no blood loss. Hope it all works out for you this time xx

Hi @flossylolly85 so sorry to hear of your losses.

I can’t offer much at the moment but if it’s any consolation, I had my symptoms up until the day of my surgery (my medical management didn’t work and my symptoms still persisted). In fact, I think they got worse around the time our little bean gave up. They gave me such a false sense of security because I assumed that having them meant everything was okay.

I think every pregnancy is different and symptoms, in most cases, are useless indicators. You’re past the dreaded time in your pregnancy and you’ve seen a heartbeat so hopefully that means it’s good news for you!

I totally get how anxious you must be, really wishing you all the best with this pregnancy

@Flossylolly85 sorry for your losses. Symptoms can come and go all through out pregnancy. I have read that people loose symptoms and they have a healthy pregnancy and I also hear people have lots of symptoms but the pregnancy ended. It is really difficult to tell. Have you thought about getting an early scan? They're quite pricey I paid £90 for one at 9 weeks but it put my mind at ease until the 12 week scan xx