My partner can't cum during sex?

[bowgumdrop2018]

So we have had this issue before 'last year when we first go together' he wasent able to cum but we think that was because I was to dry and he is rather large' but anyway we brought lube and he started being able to orgasm and obviously cum hence I'm pregnant😂 So the story is we haven't had sex the entire pregnancy ( my choice , I didn't feel comfortable) but we have been trying to do it the past couple of days to maybe get labour moving along and it's back to square one again where he can't cum..he can get hard and stay hard during the sex but he just can't cum even though we have used lube and it's making me feel awful and ashamed in myself and that he's not attracted to me. He said it might be the bump in the way and that he can't do it as hard as usual but he doesn't know why he can't. I feel like he's not attracted to me at all and now I'm having huge arguments with him a day before my due date because he just gets so angry whenever I try and discuss this 😔

You've not let him near you for nine months and now you want him to perform? I'm impressed that he can get it up at all!

Honestly. Its probably not that high on his list of priorities and the pressure from you will not help.

My worry here is that he's not attracted to me ? As he has never had this issue before with other girls

He's probably worried about harming the baby. In all honesty DH and I never did the actual deed during either of my pregnancies because neither of us was comfortable about it.

Has he had sex with many heavily pregnant women?

Give him a break before you drive him away.

I think a lot of men struggle with having sex with their partner whilst they are heavily pregnant. It seems like a lot of pressure to be putting on him. Especially after no sex for 9 months!

It's nae all about you love.

Give the lad a break it's probably quite nerve wracking trying to have full on sex with a massive bump containing yours and his baby is in the way.

Lots of men (and women) have hang ups about pregnancy sex, especially near full term. He might be worried about hurting the baby or just feel weird about baby's proximity during sex, doesn't mean he's not attracted to you. Tbh I'm impressed you even feel like it at full term but it would be understandable if his focus is on baby's imminent arrival and he's not really in the right headspace for sex. It would be a shame to let this ruin what should be a happy time for you both, maybe just try and put it on the back burner for now and see how things are once things start to get back on track after the birth?

You don't want to have sex for 8 months, now want to have sex because it suits you. And now he's now doing it 'right'.
Maybe he's frustrated and embarrassed?

Does he mastrurbate a lot? Some men find it difficult to come through intercourse as they are used to their grip. Just can't and be kind with each other. The less pressure the better it is.

I imagine he’s been masturbating a lot as he’s not had sex for 8 months, so has probably got used to his own way of doing things. Give him a chance, arguing about it isn’t going to make things better is it?

You can't really drop him for 8 months and then demand he perform when it suits you and get upset when he can't. Poor guy. Have sex for intimacy's sake and don't get caught up on whether he ejaculates or not.

In my experience, my partner has gone through patches of impotence, it's a psychological thing. If he's thinking about it, not wanting to let you down etc he won't be able to finish.

My partner has panic anxiety and one bad night will put him off for weeks. You just gotta be supportive and give him time to enjoy it again.
Sperm isn't just a supply on demand thing

It has nothing to do with him finding you attractive or not that's causing his ejaculation issues. I know that you obviously feel self conscious due to bump, but it's his body letting him down, not your appearance.

Have you tried other ways to get him to finish? Eg Blow Jobs/Hand Jobs?

Just be supportive and both of you enjoy what he can manage :)

Okay I understand , so I'm being silly to think it's personal against me? and a little selfish to expect him to just be able to cum? I guess I didn't really think of it in the way you ladies explained and now I do feel rather bad on him 😕, I think I've always had awful self esteem and been cheated on in the past so I instantly think that's it he's not attracted to me and think the worst but I guess with a large bump in the way it's a little tricky for him ... he did also mention that because my bump is rather large he can't push himself fully in as missionary is the only way it doesn't hurt as he is large in that area and doing what was suggested ' doggy' and on top was so painful I couldn't do it

My DP had the same issue when we first met. Nothing to do with dryness or size, it was a problem he only ever had with his one serious relationship before me so that was one reason he knew things would be serious between us .

I completely know how you feel, it really upset me at the time as well and I thought it was because I wasn’t attractive enough. However when I looked into it, PP’s are correct and it’s most often because they’re too used to masturbating. Their brain associates the grip of their hand with ejaculation so if it’s been a while since they had actual sex, they struggle to cum. It’s been eight months which is a long ass time, I imagine lots of masturbation has been going down during that time. Maybe try and give him a helping hand yourself iykwim.

Missionary is pretty much impossible for us and I’m only 23 weeks. Try spooning.

@Hjkillas - My partner is the same! Totally psychological. He'll go weeks on top performance and one bad experience/night will take him a couple weeks to get over and get back to normal.