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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Expectant Father After Some Advice Please

41 replies

TheExpectantFather · 28/05/2007 09:51

Hi everyone,

This is my first post so please be gentle .

I'm trying to run a series about things an Expectant Father should know to make it easier for his partner during her pregnancy.

I've already had some advice, here

expectant-father.7879designs.com/i-wish-id-known-part-1/

If any of you have any tips that you'd be prepared to pass on then please can you either e-mail them to me at ian(at)7879designs(dot)com or leave a comment on my blog.

Thanks very much for your help, Ian.
expectant-father.7879designs.com/

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
NineUnlikelyTales · 28/05/2007 14:38

Learn how to cook
Learn how to clean
Learn how to comfort an irrational woman without saying a word wrong
Practise putting babygrows on a doll

MrsMcJnr · 28/05/2007 14:58

Don't tell your pets within her earshot that there is much more madness to come before the real mummy comes back!

This is a lovely idea . My DH is finding it hard to understand what I am feeling and I tried to find some books but most of them seemed to mock pregnancy rather than be supportive still at a loss as to what I should buy my DH.

giddy1 · 28/05/2007 15:00

Message deleted

NineUnlikelyTales · 28/05/2007 15:05

giddy!

Perhaps I should add, whilst your wife is in the throes of agonising contractions and neither of you have had any sleep for 48 hours DO NOT GO TO SLEEP. Not even if your wife tells you to or she will hold it against you forever (not that I know anyone this has happened to or anything)

pregnantandsad · 28/05/2007 15:08

Here are a few things not to say when your dw is pregnant:

  • You?re just evil, bitter and twisted when you?re pregnant. You were like this the last time, and you?re like this now.
  • If you want those heavy things lifted into the loft, do it yourself.
  • If you want that old washing machine chucked out (the one that?s been sitting in the garden for months), take it to the dump yourself.
  • So what if you?ve been seriously ill since getting pregnant, I?ve not been feeling too great myself.
  • What do you mean I don?t do anything around the house? I go out to work to earn the money don?t I?
  • You have no self-respect; everyone can tell that just by looking at you.
  • You?re not part of my family. I must be, I say, as I?m carrying your baby. The baby is part of my family, you?re not, you?re just the shell.

Can you tell I?ve been having a bad day? I had all this in one morning. Sorry if I put a dampener on your thread. Guess what I?m trying to put across is that if things aren?t going too well between the two of you, try to remember that each insult and put down cuts and hurts tenfold more when a woman is pregnant.

Just try telling her that you love her frequently. And try showing her that she deserves to be protected and nurtured. Make her feel special. She?s doing an incredible thing for your family, so make her feel loved, appreciated and valued.

scorpio1 · 28/05/2007 15:10

pregnantandsad - you don't have to live like that, y'know.

pregnantandsad · 28/05/2007 15:22

Yeah I know. I did try to end upbeat though. I think theexpectantfather sounds lovely doesn't he. Wish they could all be like him!

bristols · 28/05/2007 15:35

Hope it's not too late to add. My DH painted my toe nails for me when I was too big to do it myself. Will be ever grateful for that. You could always treat your DW to a pedicure, but I hate people touching my feet. DH did it with an almost 'no touch' technique!

Never wake up after a full night's sleep and ask your DW "Did the baby wake in the night?" Answer may well be "Yes, he fucking did, you tosser. Four times. Obviously you didn't hear him. Again" Best to go with, "How was your night, darling?"

I felt incredibly vulnerable whilst pg. Would echo what the others said about cherishing your DW, making her feel a million dollars and reminding her that you'll always be there.

Babylovesmuffins · 28/05/2007 15:40

I second everyone who said to help with cleaning and cooking - DH has done so much for me throughout the pregancy, it's made things so much easier.

I bought him "The Blokes Guide to Pregnancy" by Jon Smith at the very start and I think that helped!! Although he did start out by knowing more about how I was/should be feeling than I actually knew myself, which was a bit scary.

Oh, and don't make any weight gain jokes. When she asks if her bum looks huge, tell her she looks beautiful and she's imagining things. Otherwise, be prepared to put up with a sobbing mess for the next couple of hours...

Original poster
TheExpectantFather · 28/05/2007 17:34

Hi there all,

Just to say that I have put together an article based on the advice you gave.

expectant-father.7879designs.com/mums-net-voices-from-the-front-line/

A big thanks to everyone and I'm sure I'll be back to bother more regularly in the future.

Thanks, Ian.
expectant-father.7879designs.com

OP posts:
NineUnlikelyTales · 28/05/2007 19:31
bristols · 28/05/2007 20:04

too. Am famous!!!

MrsMcJnr · 28/05/2007 21:11

Printed it off for my DH

MarsLady · 30/05/2007 10:26

Hey ExpectantDad... don't forget to come and say hello to us all across the board (forum). You never know, you may have stuff to share with us

birdseed · 30/05/2007 15:27

my dh has been absolutely fantastic.
Things that particularly make a difference:

  • concern and sympathy even when you tell him you are feeling sick for the 100th time!

  • cooking and cleaning without being asked....and not keeping tally!

  • being very considerate and informed about things that might be risky for the fetus

  • telling me I look gorgeous even when I don't feel it

NKF · 30/05/2007 15:29

Jewellery.

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