Visits from grandparents

[Noodles14]

Hi all,
Just a bit of a random post I'm pondering about as hubby watches the football! When did you have your parents (both sets) over to visit your new baby?
I'm a FTM, my parents live 20 minutes away but my in-laws live 1.5hours away. I know that my parents will want to come and visit us and the new baby the minute we are home (which I'm more than fine with) and I know my hubby's parents will want to do the same BUT my in-laws will expect to stay the night (or more!) as they live further away and find the drive tiring. The thought of having my in-laws stay so soon fills me with dread! They are lovely but the last thing I want is to have to play host and keep them entertained and them be hovering around whilst I'm trying to grapple with breast feeding etc! Really will just want some time with baby and hubby to settle in at home etc.
Is it totally unreasonable to say, 'Yes please do come over but you can't stay.' ?!?
This is a very trivial problem at the moment but one that is bothering me!
How soon did your parents/in-laws come and visit?

No it’s not unreasonable. And to be honest 1.5 hours isn’t really that far. They shouldn’t even expect to stay when you’ve just had a new baby xx

My parents live 3 hours away and visited the evening that we came home from hospital (baby was 2 days old). They stayed for a take away and then drove back home again. In laws came over that night too (they live locally)

Speak to your husband about it, perhaps suggest they get a hotel, but no, YANBU. I was pretty high in adrenaline/love when mine visited and did offer for them to stay but they declined and, in retrospect, I'm glad they did.

Good luck for the arrival of your little bundle x

I am sure they are not expecting you to play host! They wouldn't expect you cooking them a feast. Why do you feel their visit will put you out? When your own DP won't?
Get your DH on board, tell him if they are staying either he arranges takeout or asks his mum to cook. You can take your baby to the bedroom to breastfeed and rest, I'm sure they will understand. You want to spend quality time with your DH and baby and I'm sure they are just as excited and want to see their DS and DGC. I'm sure with your DP being 20 mins away they will be coming over more frequently and I'm sure you're fine with that but one visit from the PILs is making you feel so tense is sad!

PIL live round corner and came daily to see us, my parents live 70 miles away and visited in hospital and we went over to see them when daughter was a month or so old.

Due to PIL causing mayhem them expect my parents to miss out when I'm due at end of month - fuck that- they will see less as C section and I'm hopefully gonna BF this time round and they can't try and monopolize baby for their gain.

We got home on the Sunday. PIL live 1.5 hours away and visited for a couple of hours on Monday - including letting me go and have a nap. My DP live a short flight away, they arrived Tuesday but booked a hotel (usually stay with us).

Definitely not unreasonable to tell them they can't stay. Also, while they are with you, it's completely reasonable to take the baby off to another room for some privacy in those early days of breastfeeding.

I experienced this and I just went along with it and then regretted it leaving me in tears make sure you speak to DH explain your not being horrible or awkward but in a few months there welcome to stay but for now would they be happy staying in a hotel due to you not wanting to be overwhelmed xxx

My mum and brother live 2 hours away. Mum was my birthing partner but was too late! She saw my baby at one hour old and drove home that day. My brother drove 2 hours each way just to see us for one hour. In laws live just down road and came on Day for an hour.

My parents in law live 3 hours away and during my pregnancy they would use our house as a hotel and come and stay every now and then for a few nights so I was getting more and more anxious the closer to my due date that they were going to do the same when DS arrived but my MIL (who normally is very selfish) surprised me by being very considerate and said it's time for the 3 of us to bond and they don't want to intrude so just stayed for the day and brought a home cooked dinner with them which was lovely. Make sure your partner is aware of how you are feeling so he can start dropping subtle hints etc... good luck and try not to stress about it because I did and it was a waste of time in the end x

Thanks all. I may be over reacting and they may not expect to stay but sometimes my hubby can be a bit unrealistic and probably be like 'oh it will be fine!'
Anyway, I'm sure it will all be fine and I'm going to try and not stress about it!
Thanks again.

My parents live 2.5 hours away and came for the afternoon when my DD was a few days old, then came back when my DD was 3 weeks. My PIL live 8 hours away, my DH told them they couldn't stay so they stayed with old friends locally. I think they waited until DD was 6 or so weeks old. They were totally fine with not staying at ours as it's only a 2 bed terrace anyway, and usually sleep on an airbed.

Set expectations out now so everyone is clear. I think a 1.5hr journey is doable twice in a day. Otherwise just point them in the direction of a B&B! Also don't hover around playing hostess, make yourself comfy and tell them where the tea/coffee/biscuits are!

Is there a hotel or b&b that they could stay at so that they’re not underfoot? :)

My in laws live 2hrs away and came for a 45 minute visit to see their first grandchild. I couldn't have coped with more to be honest but I was pleased they came. DH told them they couldn't come initially, but I said they could for a bit. He liaised with them and they seemed to understand.