Stressed and emotional.. I really need a rant

[CharXo]

Hi ladies

Sorry for the long story but I really need a rant as it’s all getting too much and I feel like this is the safest area to do it without people “spying”...

So I’m currently 30ish weeks with my second child. Was with my partner for just over 2 years when I caught him in bed with one of my horse liveries (he owns a farm and we spent the last 2 years building a horse livery business) .. at this stage I was only around 15/16 weeks ish. I left the farm immediately, with my 6 year old son, dog & 3 horses of my own. I was absolutely heartbroken and needed to just get out of there ASAP!!

Since then I have tried to sort my life out a bit- finding somewhere to live (currently living at parents as it was the only place I could go.. but it’s too cramped for anything long term) .. nobody wanted to employ me because obviously I’m pregnant and would be taking leave shortly after joining. .. and I’m still no further forward.. all these weeks on as I was then.

We (me and him) went on holiday in may to see if we could sort things out away from everyone and their opinions.. to which it came out that him and her have actually been having an affair for the last 18 months behind my back. (You can imagine this holiday was HELL).

Anyway since we’ve been back, she has been messaging me, telling me all about what they have been up to .. I’m not really sure why when he’s been constantly asking me to move back and sort things out..
But anyway.. here we are, 30+3, stressed out as not long till due date and still have nowhere to live. I went straight to council when I left him but they didn’t see me as priority need so fobbed me off. Have tried to rent privately but nowhere accepts either dss or CHILDREN!!

I’ve just put a claim in for maternity allowance but god knows how long that’ll take to process.. and quite frankly I’m getting really quite stressed!!!

Had to go in last week due to reduced movements.. and I’ve tried to stay as calm as possible throughout the whole situation but I have literally been through hell and back.

I’m getting really depressed that
1.. it happened and I was blind to it for so long
2.. what did I do wrong
3.. I’ve been left with no home, job, income or relationship
4.. she’s rubbing my nose in it
5.. I’ve not got long till due date and no1 is willing to help me!!

😭😭😭😭

That’s horrible.

Keep looking for privately rented places, someone will accept HB and children it might just take a bit longer. And block that bitch. From social media, your phone, everywhere!
And give your ex a wide berth. You need to get yourself together and calm down and there’s no way you can do that with them breathing down your neck.

The housing thing is a really tough situation.
You need to get on the housing list. And once the baby is born perhaps you’ll end up being considered ‘over crowded’ at your parents, if you don’t already.
Keep looking for places, perhap futhwe afield if that helps.

Bless you, CharXo, sounds like you’ve been through hell! You seem to be a tough cookie or putting a really brave face on things (or both!) cause you seem to be coping amazingly well in spite of such an awful situation. Well done you for being so strong. I’m afraid I don’t have any practical advice to offer but wishing you lots more strength and hope you have some luck soon

Get out of the relationship, which is what it sounds like you are doing. Be brave. Life is going to be tough for a while.

Can you lean on your parents?

At the risk of really pissing you off... do you need three horses? If not, would selling one provide a short term cash injection to support your family?

Omg, that sounds utterly horrendous. I am so sorry. Where are your parents? Can they support you?

Are you entitled to anything from the livery business?

Block the ow.

@foxglovestar I have already sold 2 so that just leaves me with the 1 and I won’t ever sell him as I’ve had him 9 years..

I have walked away tonight, from everything. It has well untruly broken my heart but I need to do what’s best for me and my boys.

@auntyflonono we made an agreement he would set a standing order up to pay me half the income.. but that has never happened. I’m just hoping I get full maternity allowance :(

@themonkeymummy .. it’s been stressful but I’ve tried to stay calm and chilled as much as I can purely for the sake of this baby.. but this evening I’ve had a real breakdown and I am feeling really really low. Think I might book an appointment with midwife on Thursday and tell her what’s been going on :(

If you tell the council your parents can no longer house you they will class you as homeless and being pregnant with a child, you will go to the top of the list. It may mean living in temporary accommodation for a while though which is obviously far from ideal but if it gets you a house in the end then it may be worth while... I would contact citizens advice if I were you, see if you can get an appointment and discuss finances/housing.

Block the OW’s number, she’s a bitch and has no right to be contacting you. Tbh I would also block your ex’s number for the time being until the baby is born, he isn’t helping matters.

Tell your parents or any friends you have how you feel, try and lean on them for support. Hope things improve soon .