20+ weeks and calling midwife today.. what should i expect they say?

[SiberianHuskyMom1]

So im over 20 weeks pregnant and havent called a midwife yet, ive felt much happier doing it on my own, i havent had any scans as yet but baby is moving very well everyday, very active.
Just wonderimg amy other parents been through this amd decided to call later rather than 12 weeks or ??

Just wondering what is going to be said to me by the midwives, or what will happen now.

TIA

Out of interest , why are you calling in now?

Ive had alot of personal circumstances that have led me to delay calling them but also with my first DD i didnt have a great experience with my midwife. I feel like i get more from the appointments after 20 weeks rather than before. Ive read alot that people prefer to go after 20 weeks and i feel the same, just wondering what they are going to say to me or what will happen now??

You'll be classed as a late booking, and in honesty it raises a flag with midwifery, so they'll want to understand why you're booking so late.

There is quite a lot of activity they'll want you to 'catch up' on. It sounds as if you don't want that, so be prepared for that. You don't need to explain to us, but the medical professionals will want to ensure you understand the risks (and that is dependent on how much you want to "go it alone")

I think this is something that happens for all sorts of reasons. Probably not common, so I’d expect them to be a bit surprised, and possibly a bit anxious seeming. They may feel you’ve caught them on the hop a bit.
You may find that they seem a little grumpy, out of the ordinary things are sometimes harder work ;)

I should think they will want to see you fairly soon for urine, bloods, booking a scan and social/medical stuff (family medical history, do you smoke or drink etc).

Will caveat i am not a midwife.

Oh and just to add it's really not that usual to book so late, a tiny fraction do. But your midwife may have never come across it and might want guidance

What will it mean if im classed as a late booking, there are no bad reasons for me not attending i just decided after my 1st DD i didnt need there help up until now. Obviously i understand about bloods, urine ect and im willing for all of that, and i want to have a birth plan in place, all it is is i just dont want them to cause me problems.
I dont have any mental health but i do have anxiety thats why i thought id ask for advice first before calling.
My last pregnancy was fine, she was 6 days late and came the day before i was due to be induced, i was t
taken into one of the suites at the hospital as i was called as low risk, the only medical history i have is my nephew has cf, but again that was no problem before..

How do i explain to them when i call?

TIA

My aunty did that and meet with a fairly grumpy midwife. She was told the dating scan is not as accurate later, she missed out on extra screening (that she didn't want), this may or may not raise a red flag she was told. People who do this require more paper work was something else she was told. That is all I remember. Good luck with your pregnancy and hope you get a better experience this time.

You will never know what will happen until you make the call. Just call and say you are pregnant and would like to book in. They might ask few questions, just stay factual if that happens. They are very stretched and might not mind. But of course would need to tell you if they are concerned. Its common in some circles to book in late.

The other thing is my partner struggles with disability & anxiety and doesnt like having new people in the house, how do i go about booking to see them at a clinic or doctors or something like that? How do i explain this to them because i dont want to make my partner poorly..

I don't think it's usual for midwives to come to your house for appointments. All of my routine MW appointments were at the GPs or at the hospital. The only one at my house was specifically about booking in for a home birth which obviously only applies if that's what you want.

I'd just ask them if any appointments will be at your home, and explain why that's not possible for you if there are any.

Ill defo be going to the hospital to give birth, its just my partner keeps worrying and it sets his anxiety off bad, i just wanted to know if it was okay for me to ask for appointments not to be at home and if i could attemd them elsewhere.. Thanks everyone for the advice!!

OP anxiety is a mental health condition. If they dig into why you didn't attend before tell them the truth about your poor experience with your previous child whether it was the poor attitude of the midwife who was in charge of your care of something else.

How did you get on OP?

Totally depends where you are OP but in our area you would automatically be Consultant based until 37 weeks and then a plan in place depending on what tests/doctors and you say.
MH would be raised as anxiety and also due to home situation as they would want to ensure you have additional support if needed etc

I'm Scotland though so I know NHS England are different

The issue from an obstetric perspective by booking late is that they now cannot accurately date your pregnancy, so planning around any potential complications, (such as induction for problems etc) is much more difficult as they will have a very vague idea of your gestation.

In most NHS trusts you will be automatically booked for consultant led care for 'late' booking - partly because of having missed the dating scan, which is a screening opportunity, but also there may be health or family history which may need rapid consultant input which could or should have been organised much earlier.

Be prepared for the midwife to want to know why you've left it so late, as it's not usual behaviour. They will probably want to do bloods there and then and will likely arrange an urgent mid trimester scan.

From the perspective of a midwife, this can be incredibly frustrating and cause a lot of extra work in the middle of what's probably already a very busy clinic.

The midwife will need to complete your booking in really quite quickly and get referrals sorted quickly, so be prepared to take any appointment offered, as they're likely to already be booked up and will have limited options for negotiation for appointments.
It's incredibly frustrating to have someone book late then not be able to accept what is a fairly urgent appointment, and then spend precious time playing 'appointment tennis' to try and get someone booked. They will be under pressure to get this done quickly.

Good luck, and congratulations OP

It will be seen as a potential safeguarding red flag booking so late as it’s not usual and is usually seen more in ladies that are concealing their pregnancy for whatever reason. Plus it’s seen as failing to provide medical care for your unborn baby. You will most likely end up under consultant care due to being a late booker as you have missed out on some screening tests that can’t be completed later and it’s harder to date your pregnancy accurately.

Your antenatal appointments won’t usually be at home but they will come to the house and visit a couple of times after you have had baby, perhaps best to get your partner prepared for this.

What does OP and MH mean?

OP= Original Poster, you
MH= Mental Health

Have you rang and booked now? I think you need to be very honest with the midwife. I'm sorry if what people are saying is contributing to your anxiety, I'm sure the midwife will understand (to some extent) your reasons but as I said before it's unusual to book this late, and other posters have explained that it does complicate things. It's essential that you get the right medical care for you and your baby now. So don't delay.

There are very few home visits, usually the health visitor visits pre birth and after. There are two standard midwife visits, when the baby is 3 days and 10 days. I will be honest and say that it will be hard to avoid these, they do need to assess the environment for the baby and you.

Please ring your midwife, the thought will be worse than the reality