Still very confused about benefits of vbac vs c section please help!!

[Meliasmum]

Hi all, I have had some helpful responses from my last message which made me very curious about vbac so I did some research. the only problem is I still find that I am unable to make a choice. I have written down the pros and cons to both options and I feel I want to try VBAC one minute then I change my mind as I get scared. The main reason I want a section is beacause I have been there and done that so feel more confident about it, but I know the right thing to do is try VBAC and i would be elated if it was successful-Just imagining the easier recovery and actually delivering my healthy baby makes me feel so happy! I had PND and panic attacks with my DD and feel that any dissappointment with this birth may be hard to come to terms with and I will do anything to avoid any unneccessary upset/stress and worry-Im scared it will go wrong (Ihave read some horror stories on the net and am put off)I dont know how supportive the hospital are of VBAC and also I have a friend who gave birth naturally to a child with cerebal palsy due to hosp neglegence-I am under the same consultant and dont feel I want to change so far along in my pregnancy-I know this is an extremely long post-but I really need help-My DH says the desicion is mine and whatever i decide he will support-But he thinks i should just have a section-I think now I know too much and have worried my self unneccessarily-Please help as thisis now taking away all the excitement of my babys birth and I am starting to get anxious about it.

i understand your fears, have been there myself. I had terrible PND after my em c.s and was determined to avoid another c.s as that had triggered my PND. Have you fully come to terms with your first birth? Yes, you have had a c.s and know what you expect, and vaginal birth is an unknown...from my own experience, it was a much better, more empowering and wonderful experience, than a c.s .

have you looked into a VBAC experienced doula?

how far along are you?

Hi Meliasmum,

I can empathise with you over this decision. I went through it very recently. My second baby is due in the next few weeks.
With my DD I had a nightmare experience and ended up with an emergency c-section. I suffered from pst traumatic stress for months afterwards and looking back had PND for a long time too. I had counselling afterwards which really helped and is the only reason I managed to get pregnant a second time!
I too wondered about having a VBAC as the idea of a fast recovery sounds great! But... I have decided to have an elective section. I'm sure many people will wonder WHY? There is no physical reason for me not to have a normal birth, I got to 10 cms no problem last time - DD was just in the wrong position and got stuck. But I personally could not go through all that trauma again. With DD I had terrible problems bonding with her for at least 9 months. There were days when I could hardly bear to be around her and just wanted to walk out the front door and never come back. I don't know if you can relate to this at all but that is how I felt at the time...
I do not want even the slightest chance of feeling like that this time around. Not if I don't have to! Hence the elective section. I know what is coming, there is unlikely to be any terrifying moments, yes the recovery takes a while, but reading some stories on here about 3rd and 4th degree tears a c-section was positively pleasant in comparison!
At the end of the day only you can decide what is right for you... Good luck.

Hi LULUMAMA and REDFRAGGLE, thanks so much for your responses-In response to your q I am 37 weeks on thursday. I havent looked into having a Doula present as I would prefer if I do go ahead with VBAC to have my husband and mother there-It feels more personal. I have recovered from my PND and had weekly therapy with an anxiety management programme social worker, and also had psychology for 4 months to overcome some issues as I suffered PTS Disorder-Not necessarily from my section, but apparently the birth of my dd brought up lots of childhood issues and feelings of inadequacy-I too REDFRAGGLE felt I couldnt cope some days-and couldnt at one stage be in the same room as my dd. However I am well over that now and am looking forward to having this baby as my daugheter is now 2.5 yrs and I already have plans in place with social worker if I feel ill again-I am quite positive that i wont but am not naive either. I think my main fear is ending up with an em cs as I know the risks are higher than if I planned one. I feel that something is going to go wrong during labour? My mind is just working overtime (probably those lovely hormones!!) Im still undecided!

Meiasmum - what are the greater risks of an emergency C/S that you have been told?

Remember that emergency C/S sounds very dramatic but all that means is that it is an unplanned C/S.

If you go into labour and you do not progess, thena C/S will be performed. That can be a more positive outcome for the baby because it means that the baby was ready to come and is less likely to suffer from any bleeding difficulties after birth.

I always think that it is worth having a go at VBAC, otherwise you will never know.

Hi MEARS. thanks for your response-I have read on a vbac website that em cs has a higher risk of infection, cuts, bladder/bowel problems and is generally less calm due to the urgency of getting baby out. I have also heard horror stories from 2 friends (who were at the same hospital as i will be) one colleague has a 19mo son and has only just got her colostomy bag removed as her bowel was damaged during the em cs. Another friend nearly lost her life (or so I have been told by her sister) as the spinal numbed her from the needle site upwards and "Froze" her lungs and she couldnt breathe-these were both emergency situations. Maybe Im wrong and shuld stop thinking about it? I am naturally a worrier-and have to know the ins and outs of everything! But i dont think thats a bad thing when it comes to the birth of my child-I just want to do whats right,and cant help feeling anxious about things going wrong! I was so excited about my section as I had no choice and just want things overwith to know he or she is ok-now i have a choice I want whats best for us all

Meliasmum - unfortunately the risks you mentioned can happen during elecive C/S too. I am not saying that to scare you but they are risks of a caesarean whether elective or emergency.

Things are not usually done in a hurray with emergency C/S unless baby is has a slow heart rate.

Most emergency C/S are done because of lack of progress in labour. The use of the word 'emergency' is unfortunate because it makes you think everything is done in a hurry. The term just means that the section is not being done on a planned day before labour. HTH

Meliasmum, I was in your position a year ago, following 2 em c/s I was desparate for a vbac, but worried, as you are.

I told consultant and midwives that I wanted a vb, but changed my mind around my due date.
You don't have to decide one way or the other, keep an open mind and I'm sure you'll make the right call in the end.

If you decide to go with a vbac, it might help to have a really comprehensive birth plan in case you do need a section, which would help you have a more pleasant experience click on caesarean birth plan

I had an emergency c/s - which totally threw me as I was very relaxed with the whole thing and was trying for a water birth with no drugs . It all went swimmingly and I got to push and the little blighter wouldn't come out. Suddenly I wasn't in control and in huge pain. I was lucky the hospital reacted to the emergency very promptly and we were both fine.

Second time round, I knew I wanted to do VBAC, it was something that I needed to do. But I underestimated the stress and worry that my previous C/S had caused. I stopped dilating at about 4cm and luckily I had a brilliant midwife and that and DS2 (who is a fighter) made my VBAC the most wonderful experience of my life.

I suppose what I am saying is that it really depends on if it is that important to you. I had exactly the same 30+ hours birth/ both OP babies (probably turned in labout) and it could have easily been another C/S. But for me it was a risk worth taking.

If you do decide to take the risk then give yourself the best possible help. Get a doula, don't underestimate the importance of quality help. Without my fabby Irish midwife, it wouldn't have happended

I know you've already thought about a doula but from what you've just posted, it seems like a doula would be brilliant for you if you do decide to vbac. that way you would be getting fab care and advice all the way through. I think it's Michel Odent ? who recommends a c section is best done once early labour has started? so you could even wait til really the last pos minute and see how things go in labour?

Find out how your unit supports VBAC? I have to say ours is good so don't worry that you HAVE to have a doula - midwives can be great too

I would recommend a doula wholeheartedly. I would never labour without one. Men, however lovely and supportive they are, are just not the same as a kind, intelligent woman who has given birth and thinks it can be a positive experience.

Find out how supportive your hospital is of VBACs. That could make a difference to how you feel. I was very lucky. My consultants and midwives all took the attitude of "sure, of course, why not, good idea" and that helped me enormously.

The fast recovery amazed me. I had no idea that it was possible to hop off the delivery bed and walk to the ward.

Thanks to u all for being so supportive-its great to know that people actually are interested in helping! I understand the Doula concept however will struggle to afford one! I have decided- to remain sane I am going to discuss this in depth with my consultant and make a choice from there. I think if they are pro vbac Ill feel like I am being supported 100%, if they are not-I feel a section will be my choice-i need to know I have everyones full support if I am to be successful with vbac. Im sure ill have some more qs once ive discussd this woth the consultant! Thanks 4 all the advice-ITS BEEN A REAL HELP THANKYU

re doulas

there is a hardship fund available through Doula UK, that your doula could apply for if you are eligible..and also, some doulas offer a sliding scale of fees

the truth is , as mears said, unless you try, you will never know

also, the scare stories are the ones that stick in your mind, there have been less positive birth story threads than traumatic ones. as traumatic ones by their nature invite more discussion and offloading..

Rereading my post it is a little brutal.

When I did my own VBAC thread four years ago (DS2 is 4 on Wednesday ) I got loads of people giving support and loads of people saying that they had a VBAC and it was fine, no problems. Including support from Mears (mumsnet royalty) .

Good luck on whatever you decide. Just remember it doesn't matter how the little blighter comes out, there is no such thing as a perfect birth.

Can't believe it was that long ago Kaz33

I know - I think I started a thread "I think I am in labour" and Motherinferior started the first post natal thread for newly born babies - May/June 2001 babies. Now prerequisite for all Mumsnet babies.