10 things every dad-to-be should REALLY know about pregnancy

[motherinferior]

1. Your partner is a Goddess. Indulge her in every whim, no matter how inconvenient and possibly perverse.

2. Only contradict said Goddess if you are partial to Dangerous Sports.

3. Resolve to make no comments about pain relief, previous decisions about, etc, during labour.

4. Ditto breastfeeding.

5. Expect to find your new baby adorable/very odd-looking/baffling in about equal proportions.

6. Do not send any photos of your partner just after giving birth. She will not thank you.

7. IF you make any remarks about weight, deflation, lack of, etc for the next 18 months - hers not the baby's - it's on your own head. (She may sit on it.)

8. Do not anticipate to be brought together in Loving Glow for months after the birth. It may happen. But then again you may just possibly find yourselves at each others' throats.

9&10...er - can't think of any really. Any ideas?

Whan she's lying in bed in the morning, afraid to move her head either way for fear of throwing up, don't ask her if she wants bacon and egg and fried bread.

In the event of any disagreement, however marginal, between your mother and your partner, on any subject, your partner is right.

Borrow friend's child. Learn to change nappy. Practise doing it in the dark / upside down / while jiggling a wet heavy bundle over your shoulder saying "shhhh, shhhh"

learn to eb MORE tired than your wife

But do remeber she probably needs you. You may feel like a spare part in the ante natal classes and labour, but you are providing moral support, which is important (if not quite as important as actually giving birth)

rememebr she hates your guts

ha! at dogsby.

9. understand that you can never ever be as tired as she is.

10. his way of shusshing/ rockign si shit

at these.

DO NOT ask her if she's ok. for god's sake she's pregnant and will tell you in detail every single reason why she's not ok, explain why it's your fault and then possibly punch you. instead make her a cup of tea and do some house work while she puts her feet up.

DO NOT comment on her new eating habits.... there is nothing wrong with croissants and icecream for breakfast if that's what she feels like.

You alone WILL be changing the cat's litter tray for 9 or so months.

(Pesky medical evidence about cat's business)

That she will forget how s*t it all was and want another one...

you will be sleeping with no pillows for 6 months or so as she will need every pillow and cushion in the house to support her bump/back/legs etc. it's best not to complain about this or you may be sleeping with no pillows on the couch if she decides the bed is too cramped

In the toss up between you and your wife as to who deserves the extra hour in bed, your wife wins every time.

ah THIS is why htere is this thread

She may not have coped as well as she has being pregnant f it wasn't for you, and she is very grateful for all the things you are doing for her but if it wasn't for you she WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE!