Serious second thoughts?

[Bensonhead]

I’m going to preface this with a trigger warning - I know it could be very upsetting to some...

I’m 8 weeks and having serious second thoughts. Baby was planned but I got pregnant straight away, before we’d really had a chance to explore what it would mean. I was really happy for the first couple of weeks and now I feel the opposite.

I feel like I don’t want to go through with it - I had my booking appointment yesterday, started crying before they were supposed to take bloods, didn’t find the community midwife especially reassuring. I’m intimidated by the huge list of appointments they talked me through. I’m 34 and have somehow got to this stage in my life without ever being particularly sick, and never needing a blood test, so this is all very alien.

I paid for a private scan at 8 weeks when I was excited and it’s today and I’m now anything but.

I have a wonderful supportive partner, we own our home and are relatively financially stable, so it’s not that, but I’m worried I’ve made a huge mistake.

Also, it’s impossible to talk to friends - I have friends struggling to conceive, or who have been through rounds of expensive IVF, so it feels inappropriate to talk to them about my fears.

Is this normal? I can’t tell if it’s just hormones but I’m in a pretty horrible place and I guess some non judgmental advice would be handy.

@Bensonhead sorry you’re feeling so low and don't feel like you have anyone to talk to. I think it’s normal to feel anxious about everything, it’s going to make everything change in your life but it’s exciting changes (as well as slightly scary!)
With regards to all the appointments and blood tests etc just take each one as it comes. They’re not doing them because you’re sick, they’re doing them to monitor you through this exciting time where your body develops to grow this baby.
Hormones can affect everyone differently and can make you question things that previously made you so happy and excited. Can you try to think back to when you were so excited about the prospect of trying for a baby and finding out you were pregnant?

What time is your scan today? Seeing the baby and the heartbeat might remind you why you wanted this.
I hope things get better for you soon 💐

I think to some degree the feeling of “I want this to just stop” is actually normal. Pregnancy is a process that happens to you and is a bit like being on a roller coaster. So I guess at the beginning when you could still step off it is tempting.
BUT if not now, then when? You were planning this child. You say you didn’t have time to explore what it would mean- but you’re 34 not 15, you know what a baby means and what the life you will have as a family and a mother will roughly look like. A few more months would not make any difference.
I would say this is a slightly hormonal overreaction to the very normal fears of pregnancy and becoming a mother. Yes it is bloody terrifying- but it is also far more rewarding than you can imagine as well.
Feel the fear and then move on with this pregnancy that you know you chose and I think you want.

It's normal to worry about how life will be forever changed with a baby. We got pregnant 1st month trying with our first and the shock of how quick it happened really took me by surprise. You think about your situation now and how disrupted it will be with a child, losing the free time and the money, the physical changes, all things you considered before but now suddenly very real and impending. The first trimester is especially rough with the added tiredness. Just remember that the reasons you wanted a child are still there underneath the cloud of pregnancy hormones. Your relationship will not be ruined, you won't miss the time or the money, you will gain a small person who loves you and wants to give you cuddles. Mine is now two and I can't imagine not being a mum, it's well worth the effort.

Don’t worry it’s normal. Being pg is shit scary for some people. It was for me both times and I wasn’t less freaked out 2nd time. I know I’ve always wanted children but I considered ending both pregnancies in the early stages because I felt I couldn’t cope with it. You’ll get used to it. You might never enjoy pregnancy but you’ll adore baby when they arrive.