Really struggling - finding first pregnancy so difficult

[Alicia870]

I’m 28 weeks pregnant and with 12 more to go, I am starting to get really down and wonder how I’m going to cope. Generally I haven’t had a great experience of pregnancy. Quite bad sickness until 20 weeks, little to no sleep for weeks on end, bad stretching pains and round ligament pain. For the past few weeks though I’ve been suffering with extremely painful ribs and it’s only getting worse. Went to gp today who just said there’s nothing that can be done. Was very unsympathetic and I had to beg for a physio referral. It’s at the point that I cannot tolerate sitting straight for more than 20 minutes. If I do have to then I’m in agony the rest of the day. Have been trying to avoid paracetamol but I’ve had to give in as pain is so bad.
I just feel that no one seems to understand it. If it was back or hip pain there seems better to be so much more out there to help. My manager is understanding but I feel sometimes he looks at me blankly thinking I’m sure it’s not that bad. But I was out for dinner at the weekend and was in complete torture the whole time. I cannot wait to meet my little angel but I feel very alone, worried about coping with work and feel so misunderstood! Can anyone else relate to this?

Really sorry to hear you are having a bad time. I’m only 10 weeks but have had a terrible time so far. I have hyperemesis. I have been signed off for the last 5 weeks. Completely exhausted and sleeping for 16+ hours s day. This is no life!! I had no idea it would be like this! I would highly recommend asking to see another GP. Could your partner or friend go along for moral support? I find it really hard to push to be taken seriously when seeing Drs (usually quite strong willed in normal life!)

28 weeks too and I hear ya terrible pelvic and rib pain , awful piles , leg cramps overnight , low iron I feel I’m fit for the knackers yard, it’s hard to keep your spirits up feeling so lousy .

Oh I’ve been signed off sick from work now I was just no use anymore .

Try your midwife rather than the GP, maybe? And paracetamol is ok to take but works best if you keep on top of it rather than just having one dose, so I’d have a couple of days taking 4 doses evenly spaced and see if that helps.

My baby was a terrible rib-pusher and it’s agony, but he did move away from them for phases which allowed me to cope!

Hang in there

I had the rib pain!! It was agony, went right through me. The only thing that eased it was lying flat on my back (wouldn't recommend for sleeping but was wonderful for watching tv). I didn't have physio but it did ease off. One day it just went. I also had awful sickness for 5 months, and that did make random appearances later on (including during a few contractions, unfortunately) but it was never as bad as the early days.

It'll be worth it in the end, and soon those days will be a distant memory.

I hear you! I got myself in a right state for the “experiences” you’ve described so well. I was so elated when my baby was born, the relief that I was no longer in pain. I felt too that no one understood. The only things that helped were gentle walking and sitting on a birth ball and the knowledge that it would not last forever. I swore never again I detested it, but I did do it again and although it was the same, I’m happy I did. I’d have a chat to your MW, she may have some good suggestions. Hang in there, it will become a distant memory.

I didn't want to read and run. I'm 38 weeks tomorrow and have felt the same pretty much the whole way through, I haven't enjoyed it and have had one thing after another.
But I just wanted to say, you will get through it!! I'm so close to the end and now I'm struggling to sleep, this is the third night I've gone to bed and got back up again due to restless legs, insomnia and Braxton Hicks but trying not to get worked up about it and reminding myself I've done 38 weeks so I can do a couple more!
It will be worth it in the end, and it really will fly past now for you. The last 10 weeks have gone crazy fast for me!

Hi OP. I had very painful ribs with my first pregnancy - like having a really tight belt around the bottom of my bra.
I also found sitting on a gym ball helpful, as well as kneeling on the floor, facing the sofa and stretching my arms out in front of me. You could try putting a warm hot water bottle on the tender areas. Also being in a swimming pool helped as you can stand near the sides and stretch your arms out, gives you more room in your stomach whilst the water supports your bump. But unfortunately I found that any relief was only temporary and the aches would start gradually returning as soon as I was out of the water
My midwife wasn't very helpful or sympathetic either. I ended up leaving work at 33 weeks just to avoid sitting upright all day. I spent most of my pre-baby maternity leave sprawled across the sofa, trying to make as much room for the baby as possible.
I didnt have any of this with my second though, so don't let it put you off. Good luck

I feel completely the same!!! I was going well until the last 3 weeks (im 25 now). My back is so painful by the time I finish work I just want to crawl into bed but then i get a sore hip! Im trying to stay off the paracetamol too but even when I take them they soon to do very little. It gets little (and I do mean little) better if i sit with my arms over my head. My DH works away and it feels like everything seems to go wrong as soon as he goes to work, this week included the toilet breaking and an emergency trip to the vets. I did have a little cry last night wondering how i'm going to cope for another 15 weeks! :(

Thanks so much to everyone who replied. It’s just so reassuring to hear I’m not the only one. I have lots of friends who haven’t been pregnant and just feel quite judged and misunderstood. I get the feeling they don’t understand that just because one person had a great pregnancy doesn’t mean I will. It’s like they assume everyone has rib pain but I must be coping with it badly. I’ve come to decision I’m not going to put too much pressure on myself work wise. If I need to go off sick I just will. Thanks for all your tips. Like theresalight says, I can manage the pain in th evenings and when I’m at home but it’s just affecting my daily life so much as it comes on with sitting up. I keep looking at my scan photos and know I would do anything for this little person - it just doesn’t mean it’s easy!