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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Due Feb 2019 - scared, anxious and guilty

14 replies

Firsttime86 · 02/07/2018 13:39

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet.
This is my first time pregnant, I am just over 9 weeks. So far I am hating being pregnant, and I feel so guilty about how I am feeling. I have been so sick, I have been signed off work, I've gone off all the food I love, I can no longer drink tea which makes me feel ill. I have only felt this way for 3 weeks but I am struggling. I have a diagnosis of anxiety and depression and am finding that I am anxious all the time. I have always wanted a baby so this is like a dream come true but I am hating being pregnant. I am so scared that I will be ill for the whole 9 months, I don't know how I will cope with that. I'm permenantly exhausted.
Everyone keeps telling me it'll be worth it which I am sure it will be, I just wish I could fast forward a few weeks.
Am I a horrible person for feeling this way?

OP posts:
pacempercutiens · 02/07/2018 14:17

No! Pregnancy is wonderful and very trying! especially if you don't feel well.

I found that I felt a lot better after the first trimester was over, and this heat can't be helping!

It feels like a long time but when baby arrives you will wonder where that time went

I hope you feel better soon Flowers

Cosmoa · 02/07/2018 21:44

Don't panic or worry as you're still in the first trimester. No use getting yourself all worked up as this is very normal for lots of women at this stage. And most feel better by a few weeks into the second trimester, if not sooner!

Congratulations by the way! Hope you feel better soon Flowers

NumbersLetters · 02/07/2018 21:51

You are definitely not a horrible person! The very fact that you are worrying that you might be tells us you are not!
I was terribly anxious at the start of both my pregnancies, despite both being planned. I just learned to ride the waves, and as time passed the reality took hold and the anxiety faded. Don't give yourself a hard time. In fact do the opposite. Actively seek relaxation and distraction. It will work out fine.

Verbena87 · 02/07/2018 21:57

I think pregnancy is horribly designed. When you feel at the absolute shittest, so tired you can’t feel your face and have to just concentrate on not vomiting, you’re not showing and everyone assumes you’re just being stroppy/I’ll/hormonal. By the time you’re showing enough to be looked after and offered seats and made allowances for, you’ll be feeling loads better.

Hang in there!

Have you had your booking in appointment with the midwife yet? If you’ve already got an anxiety/depression diagnosis she should have referred you to a mental health midwife as well - no harm in seeking this out if you’re feeling wobbly as they’ll be experienced in supporting mums-to-be in your position.

Verbena87 · 02/07/2018 22:01

And let’s be realistic. Fucking ‘morning’ sickness is enough to give anyone anxiety. You really do have my sympathy. I was sick because I had the audacity to try and put my socks on one morning!

If it helps at all, I have had bouts of depression and anxiety for most of my adult life, and was terrified about PND. I really think that since my baby’s arrival last September I’ve been in a much better headspace than I ever was before I became a mum.

Articuno · 02/07/2018 22:03

God know, pregnnancy is awful.

Don’t feel like you have to enjoy it, it’s a means to an end!
I’m pregnant at the minute with my second, and I’m counting down the days until I have my body back! Doesn’t make me love me DD or this baby any less Smile

MotherTT · 02/07/2018 22:36

So sorry you feel this way. You're really not a bad person for feeling like this and you shouldn't feel guilty.

Anxiety and depression is hard at the best at times - never mind when you're pregnant and feeling unwell. If you are feeling anxious all the time you should speak to your GP - perhaps they could help take the edge of it with something like beta blockers. My GP advised it was safe for me to take them if needed. The anxiety could also be adding to your sickness (I know when I had sever anxiety it made me sick).

It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but this will pass. Hang on in there x

Bizzymcc · 02/07/2018 23:15

Please don’t feel bad. I am 10 week pregnancy and can honestly say that I have hated every minute so far. I have hyperemesis. I am also so tired that I struggle to get out of bed. I have been signed off sick for 5 weeks so far. My Dr said that the first trimester is all about survival however works for you. Be kind to yourself, it will get easier.

Original poster
Firsttime86 · 05/07/2018 19:22

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply, the emails to say there was a reply went in my junk and I only just found it.

Thank you all so much for your kind words, some days I just feel so helpless but I am glad I am not alone. None of my friends have experienced sickness like this when they were pregnant so it's really hard to talk to them about it as I almost feel like they think I am exaggerating.

Anyway thank you so much for your support.
Em x

OP posts:
Fluffybat · 05/07/2018 20:43

It does get better and you will start liking foods and tea again. It is horrid at the beginning and you have no reason to feel guilty. Between the sickness and exhaustion of course you will feel down. Hugs your way x

Nichola2310 · 05/07/2018 21:55

I have wanted a baby all my life, and finally at almost 35 I’m newly married and pregnant. What was to be the happiest time of my life has been horrendous. I have had an awful pregnancy for lots of reasons I won’t bore you with, and am now almost 31 weeks so beginning to feel like there is an end in sight. I found forums like these really helpful in making me realise that lots and lots of people struggle during pregnancy. I also found it helpful to break the weeks down, and focus on my next doctor/hospital app as a goal rather than focusing on the fact that pregnancy is 40 weeks.

Jo160 · 08/07/2018 08:39

I found pregnancy horrendous and felt bad because it was all I ever wanted. The sickness was so bad I swore I would never get pregnant again but a year later and I’m wanting baby number 2 so it is all worth it in the end! newmumfun.com/2018/06/22/how-to-cope-with-morning-sickness/

ErrantBakedBean · 08/07/2018 18:22

I'm with you in this too. 10 weeks and feeling so awful and useless. Can't get out of bed some days and am also signed off work. I have no useful advice but can offer a hand hold and tell you you're definitely not alone!! What's your support network like irl?

Liverbird77 · 09/07/2018 04:31

I am 15 weeks. Until a week or two ago I felt like I was on a cross channel ferry in stormy weather... all the bloody time. I also did my fair share of vomiting!! Hang in there... It may get better very soon x

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