effects of extreme STRESS in pregnancy

[vannah]

Hi all

Im 12 weeks now, but have tonight been researching the effects of extreme stress in pregnancy, and its really quite scary. I dont want to say what Ive read to frighten mums to be, but can anyone reassure me that they are past their 20 week anomoly scan and have normal baby- if you underwent a lot of stress esp in first trimester.
My marriage is virtually over, and Ive had some horrible discoveries/nasty shocks in the past few weeks. Im so worried Ive damaged this baby.

Ive cried almost everyday of the 12 weeks so far, with some very turbulent fights with OH. Cant bring myself to call him DH. He remains of the opinion that he wants to do as he likes and that he will not allow me to use 'harmful effects of stress on baby' as emotional blackmail. How insane!

I know of a friend who survived her mother's death when pg, and delivered a healthy baby. But my stress has been very angry, and very very panicky with my heart racing all over the place and so much sadness, it physically hurts!

any consolation?
thankyou

Your baby will be fine. The key thing at this stage is your diet and nutrition. Nature is very clever and the baby will take what it needs from your body and give you the left overs.

Much, much later on, you being stressed can affect the baby, insofar as if you are v stressed, s/he may pick some of this up but no harm will come to them, so please don't worry.

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time, please do take care of yourself.

put that google down woman! I expect that extreme stress means things like fear of death/civil war/starvation, rather than unpleasantness in relationships. Obviously there are no guarantees of the "perfect" child, pre or post childbirth, but I would be amazed if these arguments affected your baby. I do think you should talk to your GP about the stress/panic you are feeling, you sound unhappy.

I was waaay emotionally stressed for the month or so after I found out I was pregnant, work, money, legal and relationship issues for the most part, but I was also pretty darn happy about the pregnancy so that sort of balanced things out. I haven't had my 20-week scan yet, but the 12-week one was all good. I think that, in terms of pregnancy outcome, physical stresses are more worrisome than emotional stress.

Just, y'know, try to take care of yourself. Spend a couple of days on the couch with tea, cake, and an escapist novel from your favorite paperback genre. That's what I would do, if I could manage it. Maybe at a friend's place if things at home are stressful.

My Sister-in-law's father had a brain haermorrhage when she was about 10 weeks pregnant and died two weeks later, having never regained consciousness. It was very sudden and very unexpected. For those two weeks she was at the hospital every day, and obviously very very upset. There were many stressful times, like the family being asked to guide the hospital on whether to withdraw food and drink. There was a lot of crying throughout her pregnancy.

Her son is now 18 months old, and a perfectly happy, healthy, normal little boy.

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time at the moment, but wanted to offer you some reassurance. Please take as much time as you can to look after yourself and your little one.

Hugs,
Artoo.

Hi,

My mum died in Feb when I was 10 weeks pg. I was so worried for my baby at first but it seems my little magical bump has been one of the things that has pulled me and the rest of the family through.

I think we underestimate just how tough our little one's are !

thankyou everyone for your reassuring stories x

My mum died whe I was 28 weeks pregnant. I know this wasn't first trimester but it was horrid. My anxiety levels went through the roof.

Dd is now 10 months old, and perfect all over in every way. Doesn't seem to have suffered

I had a great deal of stress in the third trimester with dd as my boss tried to sack me, and I had the whole grievance process etc.

We went tho the whole thing, high BP, IUGR (small for dates) and eventually she was induced as my BP went too high and they were worried about placental function.

She was just under 6lbs born, now is a darling nearly 6 year old who is fine in every way.

I am sure you and your baby will be fine - enjoy the pg as much as you can and good luck

A friend of mine went through a lot during the early stages of pregnancy and was worried about the effects on her baby - her GP basically said that women around the world experience war/natural disasters where their entire families are killed/famine etc with no ill effects on the baby and reassured her that she shouldn't worry and just try and eat, sleep and look after herself as best she could.

I’ve just joined mumsnet to reply to this because when I was pregnant, I read ALL these threads and I wanted to reassure anyone who’s doing the same.

I had an horrendous pregnancy - severe morning sickness, bereavements, job loss, renovations to the house that trebled my already existing anxiety.

My one year old is thriving. He scored top marks on his development review and is so healthy, strong, robust and happy. He’s affectionate, relaxed, fun ... if you’re reading this - I hope you take this as comfort. And all the best x

Thank-you so much @stillsleeptraining . I’m unable to sleep worrying over what my stress is doing to my baby

If in doubt - watch this. Not only is it an amazingly touching story but a fabulous insight into how our babies take from us just what they need, even in the most dire circumstances, and they grow in spite of all odds.