Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Move abroad for a sabbatical before or after giving birth?

6 replies

GPR001 · 27/06/2018 17:05

Hi

We are not yet TTC (almost) but I'm a huge planner - I know, a habit I will need to get rid off - and like to be maximum prepared, or at least have a good idea of all possible options. If we were to have a kid, my partner would take a sabbatical and I would take 12 months of maternity leave. He's Italian, I'm Belgian, and we are living in London.

The plan is to spend the 12 months between Belgium and Italy, but I can't get my head around where to give birth. I've read on this forum that everyone advises to move abroad before actually giving birth, but there seem to be so many disadvantages to this, that I am wondering how complicated it would be to move away after the birth?

Main disadvantages - in my opinion - are: both of us quitting the job already in month 7 or 8 of the pregnancy (less time afterwards when the kid is there), the language barrier when giving birth (I speak Italian but it's not my mother tongue), & not having the same midwife.

Another thing I struggle with: We will also be moving around quite a lot with the kid, between the north and south of Italy (family in the north, our own place in the south) and my family in Belgium, maybe even back in London for a bit. How feasible is this? We will have loads of stuff of the baby to carry/travel with us? But most of all: how will this impact the baby (sleep etc)?

It sounded like such a nice plan in the beginning, to have the kid and fully enjoy it for 12 months and spend time in our holiday house and with family, but the more I think about it, the more stressful it seems and of course I am worried for the health of the baby.

Anyone has done something similar? Or moved after giving birth?
We will need our flat to be emptied so we can let it out of course, and then drive up to Italy or wherever we will spend the first months...

All tips and advice is much appreciated!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
frenchfancy · 27/06/2018 17:10

I would strongly recommend that you give birth in a country where you speak the language fluently. Other things to consider are what effect it might have on the babies nationality, if the baby is not born in the UK and neither of you have British nationality then the baby won't have either which might make a difference in a post Brexit world.

GPR001 · 27/06/2018 21:43

Thanks Frenchfancy! Spot on. Assuming you're an expat too.. That is exactly the reason why we are not conceiving yet, because my partner will be 5 years in a row in London on 1 August 2019, and this will/should grant him (and me) the status to come and go as we like. But we can't leave before that date, so I can't get pregnant yet. I have the advanced level of Italian language and my boyfriend is Italian of course, and will soon start taking private lessons for anything birth related but I do get your point... What about moving around with a baby? Will it disturb sleep patterns etc?

OP posts:
frenchfancy · 28/06/2018 06:08

All babies are different. You may get a baby who will sleep anywhere, who is easy going and flexible or you may get one with colic who screams for 4 hours every night. It might be lovely staying with family for the first year so they can help you out while you get used to being a parent, or you may feel that your baby is common property and you don't really get a say in how to look after him/her.

HappyHedgehog247 · 28/06/2018 06:18

For me, the first 6 weeks it was nice to be in own home as recovering from birth etc. After that young babies are quite portable, but you can’t predict what your baby will be like and they are not meant to be in car seats for long periods at a time that young. So one option might be to travel months 3-12, or to travel sooner but somewhere where you will then be settled for a few weeks before moving on.

HappyHedgehog247 · 28/06/2018 06:19

A sling is great for travelling by the way-makes it so easy!

hoping2018 · 28/06/2018 08:54

I'm sorry to sound negative - especially as I am a massive planner and fully approve of planning! But it took us two years to conceive, two rounds of ivf and £17000. My mum and sister both fell pregnant accidentally while on contraception so I never, ever thought I'd have any problems so I had it all "planned" timing wise with career etc.

These things can't always be planned - so do bear this in mind when your "planning"

Good luck

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread