Crap Husband

[peachesarenom]

I've read threads like this before and thought I'm glad my DH isn't like that.

Last night he came home in a grump and just kept on picking on me. Then just before bed time he said 'I can't stand the mess anymore.' Frankly, after him spoiling for a fight all eve I wasn't in the mood to listen.' He then slept in the spare room.

I gave him lots of opportunity via text today to apologise. He didn't. I was upset all day and all eve.

Finally I had enough of the silent treatment and told him I want a divorce. Only then did he admit that he was taking work stress out on me.

He is in the spare room now. He expects me to apologise for not putting the hose pipe away (I can't bend!)

I really do want a divorce. I hate this.

i would want a divorce to if i had to date a man who didnt understand what our bodies go through when pregnant, thankfully my partner is completely sympathetic that im a dirty smelly mess who is in a lot of pain right now and needs him to help me stand up at the moment but i wouldnt put up with an Ahole like that.

i understand work can be stressful but thats no excuse to not be understanding of your partners issues.

I think he needs to get some help for his work stress if he isn't coping well and taking it out on you. Sounds like he wasn't always like this from your post and so something at work has caused him to switch his personality. Encourage him to see his GP. It's not fair on you that you have to be the target for his frustrations. I know how work stress can impact on personal relationships - I admit I'm surprised DH put up with me when I was experiencing high stress levels over a 3 year period at work as I would bring it home with me and snap at him a lot.

Hope he can sort himself out soon x

He's being a complete dick and you need to let him know that it is not ok and exactly what your body is going through.

Just don't jump to divorce talk unless this is something that is happening periodically. If he's not usually like this (and it seems he's not from the start of your post), then it probably is work stress and that is understandable - my husband got all in a tizz every now and then when I was pregnanat with our first becuase he was going to be the sole breadwinner and was stressed that he'd lost leverage at work (he explained he'd always had it in his mind that he'd quit if asked anything unreasonable by his clients/managers, but with a baby on the way he felt he had to take more shit for the salary).

I had to draw this out of him, however (which is not ideal when you're all over the place emotionally with hormones!), but it did us a lot of good in the long run.

Sorry for the long response!

I agree with Fionna. Unless he’s always like this, I wouldn’t jump to “let’s divorce” but I understand how rubbish it feels when your OH isn’t being fair to you.

He has admitted it is work stress so perhaps try to build on that and discuss it with him more.
M

Do you often threaten divorce or is this the first time?

Many people are bad at empathy. Has he usually been good at it, or is this a pattern?

With the hose pipe. If you can’t bend how and why did it come out in the first place? Or did he bring it out and expect you to tidy his mess?

Does he know you can't bend? Have you explained that pregnancy is putting you through the wringer?

If you've always been the one tidying, it is not unreasonable that he would expect this to continue if you haven't told him otherwise.

It sounds like the two of you need to talk about household responsibilities.

Thank you.

It's the first time I spoke of divorce but the silent treatment got too much for me.

He apologised again this morning but it'll take us a while get back to our happy place.