Stress and work how bad is for my baby, please help.

[VickyLou]

Hi all,
I know I'm probably being a bit too touchy but I am sooooooo very stressed at work at the mo and have been for a few weeks. I am 15 and a half weeks pregnant with my first child. My manager still hasn't done my risk assesment even though I told him I was pregnant when I was 6 weeks gone.

But now I really cannot cope with the amount of work that has been pilled high on me. I'm in early, stay late and often come in over the weekend, although I no longer work through my lunch as I get too hungry to do so.

I am so very stressed and wondered if anyone has any advice on how to cope. Will the stress I feel harm my baby? When I get it I can feel my heart race and my stomach gets all tight and uncomforable and I start getting pains in my stomach. I'm then so stressed and so worried about the baby that I cannot stop it. I feel like my heart is gonna burst out of my chest and I get all clammy.

Please Please help, I dont know what to do other than to resign, but I really dont want to do that.

Hi VickyLou.

What risk assessment are you talking about with work. What is your job?

If you get paid sick leave, take a few days off so you can chill out for a bit.

Stress wont harm your baby, but it's also not very pleasant for you either. I'm also a stress head so i know how you're feeling but, perhaps because i'm older, i am now at the point where i can think "you know what? I'm only human. I can only do so much in a normal working day."

You should be taking care of yourself and i'm glad to hear you are not working through lunch any more.

I would recommend that you get on to your manager and tell him/her that your work load is far too much for you to cope with at the best of times, let alone now that you are pregnant. You should not be having to come in early, stay late and come in at the weekends. That sounds far too much like a lawyer's life to me!!

Try and take some deep breaths, go to a break out area and sit quietly for 10 minutes just to calm down a little.

HTH

It's very, very common for doctors to sign pregnant women off work for a rest or due to stress, so I am sure your GP would be sympathetic.

Vicky - stress can be bad I think in early pg, but by your stage, you're probably okay. Push for the risk assessment, but if you do a desk job, like it sounds, I wouldn't have thought there would be much risk, tbh. if you are stressed by your work load, tell your boss you simply can't do everything he is asking, ask for some support and, if all else fails, go to the doctor's and get signed off. You need to sort this out before you get to the last three months as the chances are you'll start to feel quite tired and need your rest at weekends... Good luck!

Hi VickyLou. I'm a manager and as far I know in our company we have to carry out a risk assessment as soon as we are told of the pregnancy. I always thought it was a legal thing. Push your manager for it and tell him that it is in his best interests as it is it for the protection of yourself - and the company incase, god forbid, anything should go wrong.

It sounds really unfair the amount of work you are having to do. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I refused to do any extra hours, even though I would do it normally. I have a long commute and couldn't handle the long hours any more. It probably didn't make me the area manager's favourite person but tbh I was sick of putting work no 1 and knew it was time to start looking after myself.

Stress shouldn't cause the baby any harm. I spoke to the doctor about it as I was beginning to get panic attacks and he reassured me the baby would be fine. I think stress is meant to be more of a problem in the later months as there is evidence it can cause premature birth, although this hasn't been verified yet. Definately get the doctor to sign you off for a week or two. I did and it really gave me a chance to slow down and put things into perspective.

Hi All,
Thank you so much for all of your advice. TBH I was thinking of asking my gp to sign me off for a couple of weeks just so that I can calm down and de stress a bit. I think first that I will go and speak with my manager about my workload, I just dont want him to think that I cant do the job that I was employed for, as I can, I just cant handle all the extra at the mo!!!!

It is a desk job that I do, and the reason I am so bothered about the risk assessment to be done is so that I could bring up these issues and not have to go and see my manager about them like this. It is strssing me out just thinking about it, ha ha!!
I have always found it very difficult to say no to people and have always tended to take on more that I could chew within jobs, I compensate by working extra and unpaid hours to be able to cover this extra work. I just physically am not able to do anymore at the mo!!!
I feel so embarrassed that I'm gonna have to ask for help, it's like if I cant cope with this what am I gonna be like when the baby gets here!!

Again, thank you all for your kind words and advice, I really appreciate it.

Vicky Lou
XX

P.S, I love Mums Net, I wish I had found this when I first found out I was pregnant. LOL!!

"if I cant cope with this what am I gonna be like when the baby gets here!! "

You'll be fine. In many ways being pregnant is tougher than looking after a baby - I don't think women are always prepared for how hard pregnancy is (I certainly wasn't).

Hi Kathy,
Thank god its not just me then, I never ever thought pregnancy would be as hard as it has been. My DH has been a real help around the house and quite understanding, but sometimes even he says to me that he doesn't think it is as bad as I say it is!!! At wich point I lunged accross the room at him, LOL!! I'd like to see him do it, ha ha!!.

Thank you for your reassurance, I really need it at the mo.

Regards
Vicky Lou
XX

Hi
My work did a risk assessment pretty quick smart, but my job is a bit more dangerous
they update it early 4 weeks. They have lowered my caseload and travelling distances where possible, I also dont have any court cases to deal with now as the stress is very high on these cases.

I would fight for a risk assessment and maybe ask for reduction in hours (they cant lower pay)or be signed off.
I know what you mean about the stress thing, so days the knot in my stomach wont go and Im shattered when I get home.

Good Luck

Lisa

Hi Lisa,
Sounds like you work for a very competant company, although my maagers and colleges are lovely they are very slow at finalising formailites. It took me 3 months to get my contract off them!!!!

I have made an appointment with my gp for next week and I gonna see if he would sign me off for a couple off weeks. Dont really want to but I cant see the situation at work changing.

I never used to get this stressed, but when it happens now I feel like I'm gonna pass out as my heart races so much and my stomach feels so tight, I'm sure it cant be good!!!!

Thank You,
Vicky

hope it goes ok, sure it will. I got v stressed at work when pg but no harm to baby. If the stress is causing yr bloodpressure to go up, i'm sure yr GP will sign you off. Try ot have a relaxing w/e.
If it's any help, lots of women, me included, felt better after 18 weeks or so, more energy, much less tired. IMO the first trimester is the worst and took me a few weeks to come out the other end in any kind of fit state for anything, leave alone work!

Hi Rtth,
I know what you mean about the first trimester being awfull.
I was at the MW on monday and my blood pressure was boringly normal as she put it, ha ha. Although yesterday it was probably through the roof.

I have just spoken to DH about going away on my own for the bank holiday weekend, he says its a good idea if I think I need it, I've no idea where to go though, what to do or if I should find a hotel that does treatments and just stay there for a couple of nights, what do you think?

Thank you
Vicky