Struggling with post miscarriage blues

[Topsy15]

Hi ladies, I miscarried my first pregnancy last week at 7 weeks and I am absolutely gutted it has really hit me and I am struggling to cope. Besides the horrific physical issues I just feel like I am never going to get over this or be able to attempt having a baby again, I'm just so scared it will happen again.

It would really help to hear some experiences with happier endings! My family don't get it, my partner has been great but my mum basically said I'm lucky it happened early and it's just a heavy period, and has since moved on. I forced myself on a family trip at the weekend and needed to get to a loo ASAP and she just snapped that I was being demanding and that everyone needed a wee?!

Sorry, a bit of a rant and a bit of a cry for help. It's just heartbreaking going from making plans, downloading an app to track it and joining a pregnancy board to this empty feeling :(

Also, sorry if this is the wrong board but I felt it would be insensitive to post on infertility as I know my issues are tiny compared to some.

Sorry for your loss.

I mc'd at 7 weeks last autumn. I was horribly depressed for ages afterwards, off work for a month, upset at every little thing, Christmas was so hard. You just have to look after yourself; no one can tell you how to feel or for how long. Speak to your gp, talk to people when you feel like it (took me a good few weeks).

It took us 20 months to get that bfp and at 36 (and DH at 47) I thought that was our only chance. After 5 months I got pregnant again and was, of course, so anxious. Nearly 14 weeks in now and slightly less anxious although I do still worry sometimes.

So there are happy endings out there. I'm sure you'll get yours but right now focus on yourself and your partner and grieve if you need to. It's a horrible thing to go through.

@SoozC

Thankyou for replying. It is reassuring to hear from someone who knows how painful this can be but also lovely to hear you have been successful again. I wish you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy and hope you have been able to enjoy it without worrying too much.

So sorry for your loss. It’s an awful feeling but I promise you it does get easier and you can start to see the light again.

I lost my first at 6 weeks in Oct 2016, then stopped ovulating due to pcos (we’d just been really lucky the first time round!) it took us a year and a half and a laparoscopy to start me ovulating again and I fell pregnant in feb this year, currently 21 weeks. The thing that helped my anxiety (because I think everyone who has a mc with their first assumes they’ll never be able to have a successful pregnancy) is that - in the words of Effie trinket - the odds are ever in your favour.

Feel what you feel and don’t let anyone undermine that. It’s horrible, primal and sad. But like I said, give it a little while and the pain will fade a little. You’ll never forget but it becomes part of your story rather than defining who you are.