Single Mother heartbreak

[Kav123]

Hi All,
I would really appreciate urgent advice here. . I am 2 months pregnant, was initially unsure to have child or not but I decided to give him a chance in life, wish I could ask him if he wants to be born or not but that is not possible.

The issue is I am now getting divorce (long story). I am so scared my child will be messed up because of our broke home. I have never met anyone who is from broken home and have a better life today. Will my child be messed up kid :-( it is breaking my heart. I work full time and have no family around, so I am freaking out if I can even manage to have a child on my own. Do I have any options available? Who shall I go to for advice? I earn just under 35,000 pa, do I qualify for any support at all? I am renting currently but don’t think I can manage to rent a house my own specially on Maternity leave. My soon to be ex never was and will be any help since he has pressurised me to abort. Please advise.

Don’t want to read and run op. I can’t advise on what support you’re entitled to however if you look at the Gingerbread website for single parents I’ve seen it’s very helpful .

I’m really sorry youre in this situation however I think you are understandably panicking and that you will find strength soon. You have a well paid job to support yourself and your child. It’s not masses but if you budget I’m sure you can provide a stable home financially!

For reassurance, some of my most content and wonderful friends were raised by one parent. This is anecdotal but worth mentioning.

I’m sure someone with more experience and knowledge will be along soon op, best of luck

My boyfriend is from a single Mum family... not messed up.

I’m not with the dad of my kids, by my choice, and I think I made the correct one. They are not messed up at all imo.

Don’t worry about that side of it. Ideally yes, a Mum and dad would both be there, but that doesn’t always happen and it’s not always disastrous because of that.

I can't help with most of this as I'm newly pregnant as well so no experience yet.

I'm pretty sure that CMS can chase your ex for financial support if you request it, and the amount will depend on his earnings and situation (where he's supporting any other children). If he's PAYE, it's hard for him to escape (I think).

My biological father left before I was born, and my Mum raised me alone, and later with a step father and half brother. I consider that she did a great job, and provided a stable home for us. I think most people would say they are messed up in some way, but the majority manage to lead full, successful lives. I know a lot of people from single parent families, and the vast majority are doing great. It's down to the individual, not the circumstances.

Having a child is emotionally and financially draining - and that’s true even for happy couples.

Being a single parent is doable for the first child, but it really complicates matters if you want more children. The hardest part is finding a new boyfriend who is ok with you already having a child, and who is happy to help you raise another man’s child.

No advice really, just that I'm.in a very similar position! I've posted recently about my predicament, have decided to keep my baby and go it alone. I already have a DD (8) with my exH, but this baby is too a friend and is very much a surprise. He seems to have gone to ground since I've told him I'll be keeping the baby 🙄 I also work full time. On looking into it there's quite alot of tax credits to be claimed even though I'm a relatively high earner. I don't believe the child will be messed up with a broken home, me and my exH split when she was 2 and she is an amazing, well behaved and happy child. We can do this!!

The hardest part is finding a new boyfriend who is ok with you already having a child, and who is happy to help you raise another man’s child.

Sorry but I really disagree with this. I had a long term relationship after my exH and I split, and haven't been short of attention. I also know plenty of single mothers that found love again whilst their DC were young.

My mum raised me single handedly and I consider myself to have had a happy childhood. I now have a 5 week old with my partner. My mum found a long-term partner when I was 11 and now has two little ones with him. It all worked out for us. I wish you all the best.

The hardest part is finding a new boyfriend who is ok with you already having a child, and who is happy to help you raise another man’s child.

I also completely disagree with this, I think the hardest part is finding a man who YOU think will be good enough! I wasn’t short of attention either as a single mum of two kids (despite worrying that I would be), but actually... I had my whole world around me, I had no need of an extra complication so stayed single for years. Since found myself an amazing man, who has made me want to share my world with him.
Definitely don’t consider this as limiting your options.

(How do you put text in bold on here??)

Sorry about the situation, OP, but if you can love and support this baby then why not? You will struggle, I suspect, but if you can provide for your family as a single mother then I think it’s great. Make lemons here!

Oh wait, make lemonade!!