10 weeks pregnant & huge argument. Anxiety is through the roof

[Chewychew]

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and in a terrible state.
This baby is so so wanted (various ivf cycles over a number of years) but my anxiety is so bad I'm constantly worrying about literally everything.

DH made a shitty remark yesterday which I flew off the handle at and we've been arguing ever since. My hormones are clearly all over the place as I picked up a plant and threw it at the wall in frustration.

I've had 2 heartbeat scans at 6 & 8 weeks but I'm not not reassured everything is ok.
At times I feel I'm not worthy of being pregnant especially after this weekends stupid argument.

Can stress affect pregnancy, I'm now worried me being in a state has harmed my baby.

How can I learn to chill out? So fed up

Perfectly healthy babies are born in war zones. Chill.

You know it would be better for everyone is you could relax, but no one saying "relax" is going to do it!

Might be a bit soon at mo if you're not telling people yet, but look for a class that is about relaxation and connecting with the baby (not that you're unconnected now, but just a bit of you and baby celebration time really - not sure I'm describing it properly, but I know what I mean!). Pregnancy yoga is a good one. Daisy birthing classes if there's one near you are excellent. Bit of pregnancy yoga/Pilates stuff and good prep for the birth.

Have you seen your midwife yet? As it may be worth a chat with them if you’re feeling like this.

I have thought about antenatal classes & yoga etc later in pregnancy so that's something I'm really hoping to do.

I told my midwife at my appointment that I suffer from anxiety but she just asked if I managed it at home and I said yes, she didn't say anything else about it.

I'm finding that I'm crying a lot at the moment. Absolutely terrified something isn't right

Hey - try not to panic. My pregnancy wasn't the easiest in terms of DP and mines relationship and I can recall feeling anxious that the stress would hurt DS a number of times but I now have a beautiful and healthy 4 week old baby. Just try not to worry about it, babies are born all over the world in different circumstances.

I would suggest having a chat with your midwife or GP to see what help they can offer. From what you’ve said it sounds like your midwife isn’t aware that you’re actually struggling to manage your anxiety at the moment.

First trimester is a difficult time with all the hormone changes going on so hopefully with a bit of support things will get much better for you.

I am feeling exactly the same Chewychew. We’ve been going TTC for 8 years and got a positive on Thursday after our second IVF.

I just can’t get my head round it. I am so anxious it’s driving me crazy. I’m googling like mad and just can’t settle.

Having my first scan on 9th of July. I’m convinced they’ll tell me it’s ectopic.

I think after fertility treatment our heads are all over the place.

I just don’t know what to do.

God it's so hard. I'm pregnant again after miscarriage and I'm old so feels like last chance - also had two scans at 6 and 8 weeks but can't shake the anxiety (and taken myself to bed today with bad back pain!) unfortunately it comes out as irritability and I'm keenly aware I'm taking my stress out on the people who least deserve it. First trimester is horrible, you just have to hang on in there til 12 weeks scan and hopefully you'll start to feel a bit better.

I am going to tell my gp when I go in the next couple of weeks. To be honest I don't want any medication or anything like that. I just feel like I may be need to talk to someone about my irrational fears.

Moray I was the same and convinced myself it would be ectopic although I had no reason to think that. It's crazy what we do to ourselves. As if things aren't anxious enough we try and add to few more bits to worry about!

I am hoping 12 weeks will make me relax a little, that's when I'll announce it so I feel like I'm opening myself up emotionally too as not a soul knows we were still trying after all these years! Even my family thought I'd given up 10 years ago

Hi OP I think it's natural for your anxiety to get out of control especially considering what you've gone through to become pregnant. I'm currently pregnant, it's my 4th pregnancy and I've never got this far before, my anxiety is sometimes really bad so I understand where you're coming from. The first trimester is incredibly difficult.

It's fantastic that you've had good scans already, that puts you in a great position. If you think another scan would reassure you I would arrange one, if not I think all you can do is try to distract yourself as much as possible and take it one day at a time.

Relatively soon you will have even more reassurance. You deserve to enjoy your pregnancy. Best of luck to you.

I remember on 2 or 3 occasions during my pregnancy with DS I hit the roof. Can't have been over anything serious as I have no idea what it was now. One time I threw and broke an iPad - afterwards I was shit scared the rage inside me hurt my baby (it hadn't). Another time I was screaming at DH while driving on the way home from the cinema. No idea why, but obviously not a good idea.

As a PP mentioned, pregnancy Yoga was really helpful for me. The fatigue, hormones and anxiety are a lot for your body so don't be upset with yourself. Hopefully you can find a way to help you through the coming months ❤️

If you’re crying a lot and smashing things, you’re not managing it at home.

You need to be honest with your midwife and GP about how you’re feeling, make an appointment to see one of them ASAP, don’t wait “a couple of weeks”. Be honest.

They won’t necessarily tell you to take medication (although there are anti depressants that are safe to take in pregnancy) but there is also cbt, counselling etc, and specialist perinatal mental health services.

Don’t struggle on alone, get support.