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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Need some serious support - abuse/pregnant

20 replies

Rose280187 · 21/06/2018 08:34

I’m currently 12 weeks pregnant, haven’t had my scan yet. I met my partner 9 months ago and at first was a whirl wind romance.. then it all started to go down hill... he became controlling, stopped me from seeing my friends and telling me how to have my hair... criticised the way I look and said I wasn’t affectionate... the trouble is I bought him into my home in March (I have a 10 year dd from a previous relationship) he said he wanted to buy a home for us so hadn’t paid any bills but saved himself 8000.. the emotional abuse became too much and in the end I told him I couldn’t do it anymore, it’s hard as I do love the guy...

As soon as I said those words he packed his stuff from the house and left, went back on social media, deleted all photos of us and put a picture of himself on the beach...

The next day he messaged and said I had to get an abortion, wasn’t fair brining a child into a dysfunctional family... he didn’t apologise and was completely cold in his messages...

2 days after we split he reckons he’s got a new place, will need his tv, sky and internet back by tomorrow which means we will have no tv or internet...

Last night I came down Ill and went to a&e my bowel had gone into spasm due to stress... my mum messaged him to say he couldn’t collect his stuff as I was in hospital and he didn’t show a care in the world

At first The thought and even now of getting rid of the baby sickens me but if I keep it my whole life’s going to change, work, house and he will be in my life forever... and still trying to abuse me...

I was advised by a third party he was controlling with his ex and did end up hitting her!

Can’t believe people like that exist

He’s collected all of his stuff and completely blocked me off everything so I cant inform him on pregnancy....

He told my dad when he came to collect his stuff that I just chucked him out and He’d done nothing wrong! Feeling so lonely and vunerable...

OP posts:

Havetothink · 21/06/2018 08:43

You're better off alone, leave him in the past, don't inform him of anything and make your own decision on the baby.

Stephisaur · 21/06/2018 08:56

You posted the other day about this didn't you?

He's essentially done the hard work for you and removed himself from your life. You are much better off without him.

As above, make your own decision on the baby. You don't have to tell him anything you don't want to.

JustVent · 21/06/2018 09:11

So he’s left taken his stuff and deleted you?

Good!

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 21/06/2018 09:51

I’m not sure why you’ve posted this again...?

But the advice remains the same. He’s a dick, you can do this on your own.

sexnotgender · 21/06/2018 10:09

You can absolutely do this on your own and it will be infinitely easier without this arsehole abusing you.
Block him on all devices, and DO NOT name him on the birth certificate.

Original poster

Rose280187 · 21/06/2018 10:47

Yes I’ve posted this before but I have updated down the bottom, as he hasn’t collected his stuff previously...
how can someone be so cruel to delete you from their lives over their wrong doing, especially when you are pregnant! I’ve been left feeling used and having to make this awful decision..

OP posts:

aacceberrx · 21/06/2018 11:40

If getting rid of the baby sickens you, as you say, then you've answered your own question on that one. Don't get rid. My friend once went through an abortion because she was having similar issues with her partner at the time and when I got pregnant, she told me that there wasn't a day gone by when she hasn't regretted her decision. She told me that if there's even 1% of you that wants to keep the baby, do it, otherwise that 1% of uncertainty will stay with you forever.

Removing himself from your life saves you the job and you'll be so much better off without the stress and abuse of this so called 'man'.

Focus on you, your daughter and your darling little baby, things will get better.

Havetothink · 21/06/2018 18:37

The decision about the baby is the same whether he had stayed or not as clearly he doesn't want to be a parent. It would still be your decision and yours alone.

Original poster

Rose280187 · 26/06/2018 12:19

I got this email from him after he blocked me off everything and he’s back on tinder..

Please just get rid of the baby. Let me know. Then we can talk. Good luck

OP posts:

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 26/06/2018 12:23

Book an abortion. Keep some options open. You don't want to have a link with this man at all.

AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson · 26/06/2018 12:56

Whether or not you decide to abort (that is your own choice and you have to do what's right for you) you need to block and ignore this POS.

Please just get rid of the baby. Let me know. Then we can talk.

Jesus wept... he wants it all ways. He won't change at all, don't give him the chance to convince you to do something you may not want to do and reel you back in, beginning the cycle of abuse all over again.

He's showing you who he is. Listen to him. Run for the hills.

dinosaurkisses · 26/06/2018 13:01

Have you got someone you can talk to about this in real life, OP?

I think you need to sit down and think about your options with someone who can help support you.

No one envisages having to have a termination, but at the same time you could potentially be tied to this knobhead for the next 18 years at least.

PixieDust33 · 26/06/2018 20:29

After reading your post, i just want to come and give the biggest hug ever!! What an absolute vile persn he is, you deserve better. However i know what its like to love a person like that and its hard to understand the hurt and pain because when they are nice they are great. But please hun do what you need to do for you, any choice you make, make it for you and not him. Big big hugs xx

CrabbyPatty · 26/06/2018 20:37

Hi. Hopefully he's out of your life now but please speak to your midwife about this. She should be trained to offer you the right support. You're right he is abusive and controlling. He doesn't have to hit you for this to be domestic abuse. If he tries to continue to control you you need to know your options.

Original poster

Rose280187 · 26/06/2018 20:56

I went for a consultation today for an abortion at 13+4 :( I can only take the tablet, I emailed him back to tell him and all he asked was I let him know so he can have a silence??? What the hell? He’s vile and I wish I never met him :( thanks for the support x

OP posts:

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 26/06/2018 21:00

Why are you doing as he says? You have no need to email him anything!

Make your choice on your terms and fuck him. He’s made it very clear he has no respect for you.

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 26/06/2018 21:01

I’m so sorry you are going through this, I can’t imagine it... but you really need to stop considering him in any way.

PixieDust33 · 26/06/2018 21:06

Urgh i agree with notasgreen just thnk about you, hes a nasty piece of work. He doesnt deserve to know anything at thisstage.

swipex341 · 27/06/2018 00:25

Sending you massive hugs.
Was in a similar situation last year. Isolated, no mates.
Questioned on everything and pregnant.
I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks and two days later he left. Hurt like holy hell.
I thought I was going to crack up and die.
You don't need that shit in your life chick. But as for the pregnancy. You have to do what is right for you.
It's not his choice x

Original poster

Rose280187 · 27/06/2018 08:34

Thank you ♥️ I think I’m going to go ahead with the termination, I want to get my life back and as far away from him as possible but obviously I will never forget the pregnancy x

OP posts:

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