Considering 2 under 2 - Looking For Thoughts/Experience

[margiemoo]

I'm pregnant with my first at the minute and if everything goes ok and I think I'm up to it I was considering trying to get pregnant again when my first child is 9-12 months.
I work for the public sector and get full pay for my maternity leave for 9 months which I think is crazy but yes please!
I would return to work fulltime after my first child for about 9-12 months and I'd be able to get full maternity pay again and then after maternity with my 2nd child I may consider reducing my hours.
It would also mean I don't have to pay for childcare for my oldest while I'm on maternity leave with my 2nd child.
I realise doing this is going to be harder than I realise now as a mother of none.
Has anyone been a parent of 2 under 2? Do you think it is a good or bad idea and why? Has anyone got any tips or anything I might not have thought of such as them both still needing to be in the pushchair at the same time so I'll have to get a double?

Listening with interest x

It is amazing how much trouble one small child can get into when you are unable to reach them for a couple of seconds... ie feeding or nappy changing a newborn.

Get an easy to use, permanently set up baby cage. Your living room is going to look shit for a while... but it’s that or your entire house covered in sudocrem (or worse).

And yes, I had 23 months between mine (so very briefly two under two) but my eldest didn’t walk till 18 months, so a double buggy was needed.

17 months between my eldest two. (Now nearly 7 (girl) and 8 year old boy. We had quite busy lifes running a sports and social club aswell as my husband being a teacher and me then becoming quite poorly (unrelated to pregnancies) . We managed just fine, you do need to spread your time a little to make sure the eldest is involved and has your attention too but you would naturally do that. We then had another girl (3 years gap between my first daughter and second) and now expecting number 4 and there will be four year gap between 3rd and 4th child. I don't think it matters how big the gap is aslong as it's your decision, you will naturally be there for both equally, so do what's best for you. 😊. Congratulations though. X

Look at your maternity policy about how long you have to return to work for to qualify for the enhanced maternity package. If they’re too close together you might have to have a shorter maternity leave first time to get your pay the second time.

There is 18 months between dc1 & dc2 and then 20 months between dc2 & dc3, so my three were fairly close together. I worked full time in a public sector job aswell, although did not get anywhere as good a maternity package as you!!

In terms of being a parent to very small children, I found it to be absolutely fine. Easy really, and it was lovely being home so much when all of them were very little if I could go back and change anything, I defo would have got a travel system that could transform into a double when needed. As it happened we had an amazing pram/ pushchair but it couldn't adjust to be a double so ended up trying a variety of different options...including buying a couple of different double buggy's/ travel systems!

I have a two years six weeks between mine. Originally wanted much shorter gap but was breastfeeding and for me very effective contraception! Anyways I love this gap. Not sure I would have coped with anything smaller. This time I'll have a 2.5 years between middle and youngest, which I'm hoping will be just as good

21 months gap here, I was completely shattered and the first 18 months is like being shrouded in fog but we are reaping the benefits now. They are now 7 and 5 and the best of friends and completely besotted with each other. I'd highly recommend this age gap!

I have 21m between 1&2 and all being well will have 23m between 2&3 when the 3rd arrives in November, so 3 under 4!

I'd always intended to aim to have a small gap due to my age and trouble conceiving the first. But I really don't think you can plan it now as I think a lot depends on how your birth goes, the recovery, what type of baby you have etc. Personally I also think you should give your body 12m to get over what is an amazing physical feat. Whilst I would say a 2-3 year gap is common, I think those who get pregnant within the first year often have unplanned pregnancies. I don't know anybody who felt ready to have another within a year. I felt ready when my first was 12m, but she was sleeping well at that point and I had a really easy pregnancy. With my second I was definitely not ready for another after 12m! I also have friends (a minority) who cannot contemplate having a second due to what they went through with the first. Also bear in mind if you're planning on breastfeeding it may prevent you getting pregnant again quickly. I BF both for 12m and didn't have any periods until I stopped conmpletely.

By all means think about getting a buggy that can convert - i have a Bugaboo Donkey which I love and you can use it as a single.

I think it's a great idea.... Mainly because I'm soon to have my 2nd with a 18mth age gap. I've been reading this thread you might find it helpful

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/3264493-2-under-2-the-early-weeks?pg=1&order=

@chloechloe

I wanted a very small gap between mine, but it just didn’t work out that way... it was a month or so after he was born that we started trying. Twelve days after my second (but we didn’t have a third in the end).

So I think plenty of people probably are ready.

19 month gap here. They are now 10 and 8 and are best buddies (a few arguments here and there!) They have grown up together.

I found it easy when they were younger. No jealousy, no school runs and some days they would nap together.

I'm now pg with dc3 and its so much harder. School runs, avoiding illness's from school and worrying about including them all when the baby is here.

I would defo go for a small age gap any day!

I had 2 under 2 - the first 6 months were hell and the first year was hard but the rest has been a doddle - it was so worth it for us and for them!

Unintentionally fairly small gap here of 20months. It was very hard work tbh, and eldest was still not sleeping through when no2 was born. I don't really remember much if it! However now they are 3 and nearly 5 and are like two peas in a pod, it's very cute.

If I were you I wouldn't plan too far ahead at this point. My first didn't sleep through until he was 2 and my second not until he was 3. So that's the best part of five years without proper sleep and very little interest in dtd I might add! Of course you might get an easy baby and great sleeper but don't bank on it!

From the perspective of a child who has a sibling close in age. .. it's brilliant. My brother is 18 months younger than me and we did everything together growing up. We're really close now too. We have another brother 3 years younger but we were never as close. A small age gap can be lovely.

I've a 12mth gap between my two (and currently pregnant again with #3 so going to actually have 3 under 2yrs) and it's definitely doable but it really depends on you and your baby and everyone's experience is very individual.

I've been lucky in that both my kids are great sleepers who both slept through the night from 5wks on and never had any issues that have made the transition difficult. They sleep, I sleep, we all are well rested. My eldest was walking well and truly before the youngest came along, so whilst it can be dangerous (for me) when the house goes quiet while I'm feeding her brother, she generally amuses herself without too much mischief. Meanwhile I've a friend who endured a horrendous birth and has had a very fussy baby with her first and now she's absolutely sworn off ever doing it again.

Practically though you'll need to think about whether you've enough room in your house, how you want to sort out the bassinet/cot/bed situation, will they be sleeping in the same room at some point, making sure you've got a pram that can convert into a double, do you have a car suitable in regards to installing car seats, does it have enough boot space for pram and groceries, etc I'm trying to get back into this headspace about #3 myself..

Almost exactly 2 years between my 2 and it's been fine, not nearly as hard as I feared. You need to be organised and make sure that you have the unputdownable one first and the easy one second. DD didn't sleep through until she was 2 and I've had to battle to get her to go to sleep every single night of her life. DS already sleeps through at 6 months and I can just sling him in bed and leave him while I battle with DD.
DS spend many an hour cheerfully watching me chase after the highly strung 2 year old. A double buggy was essential for us. DD was a late walker and we walk everywhere, miles every day. If I feel overwhelmed throwing them both in the buggy and going for a walk always works and I can usually get them both to nap in there at the same time after lunch.

It was hard for a few weeks and I felt awful about throwing DD's world into chaos. Then she started to show genuine affection for DS and now he adores her and watches her while laughing and smiling constantly. She now loves making him laugh and both their lives are really enriched by the existence of the other.

DC2 due imminently with a 22/23 month age gap depending on when she gets here!

We wanted a smaller gap but just like DC1 took a fair while TTC. Expecting it to be manic for the first couple of years but hoping they will end up good friends!

20 months between my little 2. (We always knew we’d like another, said we’d just see what happened, bf proved an effective contraception for me too!) It’s been hard work and we got off to a slightly wobbly start, but DC3 is 10 weeks now and things are starting to settle down. In a lot of ways this gap is easier than a bigger one, helped by the fact that DS is very mellow and happy, sleeps well plus still naps 2 hours a day. I think a year or so down the line it will be well worth the small age gap but there’s 4 years between 1 and 2 and now they’re nearly 6 and nearly 2, they ADORE each other, play and entertain each other all the time, and are generally thick as thieves (to the point I’m a bit worried that baby will be left out as 1 and 2 are such a little team). So based on my experience, any age gap will work, and have it’s own pros and cons. It just depends what’s right for you.