Having second thoughts about this pregnancy

[ConnieDescending]

12 weeks into my 4th pregnancy and I feel rank. I have no excitement about this new baby, just feelings of doom. Scan is approaching and I'm dreading it.

Most of the time I try to forget about it but have been feeling so ill this last few days its impossible not to.

Am really wishing I had never gotten pg. Any words of wisdom?

what do you have already connie?

3 dds, 2 at school (age 4 and 6), and 8 month old baby.

I remember feeling really really unwell when I didn't know I was preg with my 4th and standing there crying thinking "why on earth are we trying for another baby I can't cope with the 3 I've got" obviously once I foundout why I felt so dreadful it was a bit easier to cope IYSWIM. I did feel rank, we were petrified of having another non-sleeping screaming baby like the 3rd, we weren't excited but she came along and fitted in and we kind of didn't really notice having the extra work.

Hope that helps a bit

See how you feel after your scan...and if still feeling like this could you talk to your GP? Could it be the start of AND?
I've been suffering from AND my whole pregnancy and it's kind of taken the edge off the excitement somewhat, even though after 2 MCs it was definately a wanted PG. Wish I could offer you more advice

yes I had AND with my pregnancies too (have forgotten) and all these strangers talk to you & your bump and say all this stuff and all I wanted to say to them is "f off I want to die"

gosh!!

You will be fine

5th time i had - shall we say- feelings of ambivelance - which all passed and now we are a ver happy brood!

Are you poorly with the pg or dreading having two so young - is it worrying you?

thanks..........its not the age gap that bothers me its getting through the pregnancy. Have a high risk pg and just feel like crap.

I hope things look more positive for you soon Connie.....mine hasn't been high risk, just overly hormonal and crap so I can empathise to an extent
hopefully once you see the little wriggler on screen your feelings will take off in a big way. I don't think it seems quite real until you've had that first scan or heard the HB for the first time!

what is high risk about your pregnancy? can you do anything to feel better? make things easier?

i think with 3 other DCs,and a new pregnancy, you are bound to feel tired, and have less of the woo hoo, i;m preggers again thing going on..

Lulumama, I get pre-eclampsia...its the worrying of how early it will start etc. I am under consultant care - just hoping this time will be ok.

hmm......have you had it with the 3 other pregnancies?

yes 2 out of the 3

severely? did you have to be induced/ planned c.s?

it can be really disheartening, going into what should be a really joyous time, knowing full well, you are going to feel crapola very soon!

no words of wisdom really, except, it might not recur?

yes was induced both times and really want that spontaneous labour experience again -get me near a bp monitor and can just feel my hb getting faster.

No protein and low bp at booking in appointment which makes a change but just think I'm pushing my luck and somethings going to go wrong. No one seems to have a clue about pre-eclampsia and it worries me.

It's supposed to get later each pregnancy. If that helps at all...

Or you could have ante-natal depression?

I had this with both of mine. I had no feelings towards the unborn baby, I didn't feel any kind of excitement just a feeling of foreboading and fear. It was like a huge shadow over my life. I didn't enjoy the pregnancies one bit.

Have a word with your midwife. If it is ante-natal depression there are things you can do about it. And you are not alone, plenty of people have felt this way too.

could be I suppose? How bad do you have to feel before its depression???

I feel physically ill and that is affecting how I feel about the pg and these morbid thoughts.

Well, a good indicator is to get a calendar and mark the bad days with a blue cross and the good ones or ok ones with a pink cross. If the blue days exceed the pink ones then you have a problem.

The sickness won't be helping though and tbh you do have a lot on your plate. You are coping with two young kiddies and a baby as well as a pregnancy! Do you get any time for yourself at all? Do you have much support?

Write down what changes you would like to see and then try to figure out how to make those changes happen. Just changing little things at times can make a huge difference.

pre eclampsia is one of those things that is a bit random, not really sure why it occurs, and how to treat, apart from delivery

peachyclare is a bit of an expert on this IIRC

although i think Rhubs has made some good points.

thank you all and shameless bump for further advice?

Hi Connie it could def be AND. I think you are more likely to suffer from it if you have had problems in previous pregs.
I went to see my gp because of similar feelings I've had, even though this preg is very much wanted. I was taken seriously and it was a relief to get it out in the open. I'm now to receive more support mentally throughout the coming months to prevent PND. It's more common than you think with all those extra hormones we have whizzing about in our systems. Hopefully you'll feel more positive after your scan.

thankyou BB. Will see if it lifts when the tiredness and sickness goes.