problems with MIL

[Satsuma2019]

Afternoon all,

Needed some advice. Im 6 weeks pg and i already feel concerned I will be smothered by the ILs. The SIL said she will be round all the time and the MIL is talking about us having the SIL for a while so she can go on holiday...

I said to my DH I am concerned and I feel like when the baby arrives we will want our own time together before we get lots of visitors. I understand everyone is going to be excited and want cuddles which i completely understand and thinks will be nice. But how do i tell the ILs its not all about them and we are not going to be babysitting when we have a new baby ourselves...?

They can’t seriously be setting you up for baby sitting duties when you have a newborn?!

I’d treat that as the joke it sounds like and just laugh in her face if it’s mentioned again!

How old is the sil you are expected to look after?

I'm assuming the sil will look after the op while the mil is away?!

Either way- bonkers and batshit. And you're only 6 weeks!! Another (hopefully) 34 weeks of this to go!! You poor thing. Congrats on the pregnancy though!

Oh blimey, I just reread and I'm wrong, they actually want you to babysit the sil!! Omg!

Is your SIL 10?

They're excited and probably going a little ott at the moment.... Put some subtle boundaries out there such as baby sitting duties/minding so they can go on holiday etc. When they say things like "we'll be round all the time" treat it like a joke and make jokes back with "brilliant I'll catch up on sleep" or "bless you, you'll be more than welcome once we've settled into a routine etc" if any of them think that reply is odd and question it just go with the "well we'll need a few days/weeks to get settled ourselves" or along the lines of. Keep everything cordial as once baby comes along after the first few days or so you could feel totally different and be dying for some adult company, someone to take beautiful baby so you can relax and shower/brush your hair/Cook a proper meal etc x
Congratulations btw and try not to worry over this and enjoy your pregnancy and being loved xx

Sorry meant to add re holiday/child minding - make a sorry sharp joke with "haha I don't think so haha" they'll get the message ;-)

I'm confused by the sil thing. So your in-laws want to use you as a babysitter (for sil who is young?) when you're on maternity leave?

My mil was a bit like this when I was pregnant. Always talking about the things she'd do with the baby. I was just very non-committal. The first six months or so she was constantly offering to take the baby out so o could have time to myself. I didn't want to be away from my dd much so nearly always said no or "I'll let you know if I need help". She's calmed right down and obviously it's great she loves dd so much. It's very early days for you to be worrying about all of this stuff. Just don't commit to anything and enjoy your pregnancy.

If mil mentions it suggest she asks your dh if he is taking time off to look after his dsis as you will be managing the baby.

Thanks all for your messages. I thought maybe i might have been overthinking it but its been on my mind since it was said last week 😐

I think ill just go a long with it until its seriously asked and then review it again at the time.

Thanks again everyone x

Going along with it is a bad idea. Harder to appear to 'back out' of what they will say is a long standing arrangement.
Just state you won't have got to grips with 1 dc never mind 2!!
Again suggest have they checked with your dh has he got time off arranged to look after his own dsis?? You can't make promises.

Luckily my DH agreed with me that it may be too much to handle but I feel so awkward saying flat out no...