How to cope with early pregnancy after MMC

[coffeekittens]

I’m looking for some advice/a distraction on how to cope when pregnant after a MC. I’ve just had my BFP 2 days ago and I’m due 24th Feb. I had a MMC at 7 weeks in April and passed the MC naturally.

Instead of feeling excited about my pregnancy I feel anxious and irritable, I’m snappy and angry. I can’t concentrate or think straight because I’m just thinking that I’m going to have another MC, or that my symptoms will fade like the did they my MMC and I’ll have to go through it all again. The only place I don’t have these thoughts and feelings is when I’m at work, but I only work part time and because of DD I can’t take on any more shifts.

I’m not sure whether to book a private scan or not as that’s where I found out about my MMC with the last pregnancy (however I “knew” that it was coming, I didn’t really feel pregnant and my boobs went back to normal and sickness mostly went). I don’t want to make a booking in appointment because I’m just terrified that I’ll lose this pregnancy and have to go through all of that pain again.

I know that I’m being irrational and ranting, thank you to anyone who’s read this , I have no one to talk to in real life as after my Mc I don’t want anyone to know that I’m pregnant this time. DP is being an arse and his solution is for me to get a fucking Labrador

Hi,

So sorry for your previous loss and congratulations on your recent BFP. I've just gone through an extremely anxious pregnancy after having a MMC and a TFMR. I had the same fears as you do about scans - instead of being something I looked forward to they were something I endured. My pregnancy was high risk and so I had a lot of scans and was terrified before most of them.

That said I did have an early scan at 8 ish weeks and I was pleased I did. After that I stuck to what was given on the nhs but as I say I had extra due to being high risk.

I relaxed a bit once I started to feel baby move but appreciate that's a while away for you yet.

I don't have an answer to getting through other than saying it's natural to feel anxious and a lot of people will identify with how you feel. Hope all goes smoothly for you x

I don’t think there is an easy way, I’m five weeks pregnant after two MMCs, I had a reassurance scan with my last pregnancy which showed a heart beat, but then at the 12 week scan I’d lost it.. so even that wouldn’t help this time round.

All you can do is hope for the best and try to stay occupied x

Hi all. I'm also in the same boat! I've had 6 miscarriages and one was a missed miscarriage in November last year.
Same as the op I also had a bfp 2 days ago and also bloody crapping myself! I really want another/ last baby (I have 3 already)
Every little cramp I'm off to the loo, every little tingle I panic! I hate going to the loo just incase.
I'll hold hands and pray for us all xx

Congratulations on this pregnancy and sorry for your loss .

I had two MMC last year but am currently 20 weeks pregnant with a healthy little boy, so far so good . I got through the first trimester this time basically by trying my upmost not to even accept the fact I was pregnant. I really didn’t want to think about it and definitely wouldn’t discuss it with anyone. I took every day as it came, booked in with the midwife really late (week 12) and had the dating scan at 14 weeks so all very late. I did it purposely because in my head I was geared up for another loss and I thought the later I leave it, the more chance I had of not getting my hopes up. I definitely didn’t want private scans this time as I did that last time and was given false hope. It really did get me through.

It’s so difficult being pregnant following a loss but the best thing to remember is that the odds are in your favour.

Congratulations! Give me some hope x

I feel exactly the same. Miscarriage at 6 weeks in Feb and now pregnant again, around 7 weeks. In a way I'm sort of hoping for it all to go wrong as I don't think I can take this anxiety for much longer! Symptoms coming and going for me and today I've had a bad upper back pain which I had a few days before I realised I was miscarrying last time - which could be another miscarriage of could be coincidence I guess. Got my booking in appt on Friday but I'm pissed off at myself for booking it as I think I'll have to cancel it again. Also irritable all the time as constantly monitoring pains etc and thinking miscarriage starting. So stressful!

I totally get where you’re coming from. I’m now 40 weeks with DC2 after a MC and MMC last year. I tried really hard to find a balance between optimism and pragmatism. I basically kept telling myself ‘this is a different pregnancy with a different egg and a different sperm. There is every chance that this will be a successful pregnancy’ but also ‘if the worst happens, I’ve been through it twice and I can go through it again.’

I had hoped that my 12 week scan would flick some kind of switch and I would relax but I have to be honest and say that it wasn’t until I began to feel regular movement that I accepted it was really happening and I could chill out a bit and enjoy it.

MC/MMC is fucking shit and I admit that I am incredibly envious of women who haven’t experienced it and can go through an entire pregnancy in a state of blissful naivete.

Best of luck to you!

Sorry to hear about your loss. I'm currently pregnant after 2 mc and I know how you feel. I think some times I even imagine I feel something happening and worry I'm having another mc but it's just in my head.
It's so frustrating because it's just a waiting game. I went to my gp to talk about my anxiety over it all and she offered me an early scan so may be worth speaking to your doctor?
The best thing you can do is keep busy with work and family. Do things that make you happy and lift your mood. Watch your favoutir film, meet up with friends, go to the park, eat food that makes you happy. Whatever it is. All the best hun! X

Thank you all for your replies, I’m sorry to hear about your losses it’s the shittest thing ever! And congratulations to those who’ve fallen pregnant again

Anxiety is coming and going, I’m just trying to keep myself busy doing lots of little bits. I’ve felt really tired today so I’m feeling relieved that it’s a symptom (although still quite early for pg symptoms). I’m going to book an early scan, I don’t think that I can wait until the 12 week nhs one, plus after my MMC I still received NHS letters for appointments until their system was updated that I was no longer pregnant, that was really hard :( if I didn’t have DD I would book a 8 week holiday to somewhere beautiful and quiet 😂