Visitors so soon after birth

[Anon659457]

Hey,

I need a rant and to see if I am over reacting!

I am booked in for a c section on the 27th June and my husband has booked and paid for a hotel for his parents to come and see the baby on the 31st for 2 nights. I know they are excited about the baby coming, but had told my husband that I did not want visitors that soon after giving birth, especially as I will still be recovering. He says it's too late now as everything is arranged and paid for, which has really annoyed me as my family couldn't afford to come and visit me and he told me that we weren't able to help them with hotel costs! I have to wait at least 3 months to see my family, when we are able to travel long distances with baby. His family could easily pay for the hotel themselves, but when I suggested he ask them to either pay it themselves or at least part of it he said no and that was the end of it! I pointed out that of all the people I would want visiting me would be my mum, not his who I hardly know! He said that I was over reacting, but I really think I am not

That's exactly when I get baby blues and sob non stop for about 6 days, so it would definitely be too early for me. Everyone is different and your wishes should be respected.

I would put my foot down as he isn't being supportive or equal by not helping your family visit. You're going through the procedure and could still be in hospital. You can advise the ward yourself no visitors and they will listen to you not him. If back home well maybe try talking to him if not up to guests. You could feel differently after the baby arrives. Tell him you want some recovery time if you don't want to see them as it's major surgery and it's about you as much as the baby and not about them or what they want.

This seems very unfair.

He needs to take into account your feelings and neither of you know how you be coping feeling a few days after birth.

Also if one set of patents are coming and being paid for then they both should be, especially your mum as you are close.

Speak to the hotel, they will be fine to adjust the dates as needed, I book hotels for a living. Explain and it will be fine to move the dates. Book your parents in too when you reconfirm the dates after the birth. Call it a push present whatever he can pay.

Good luck with new arrival.