Really really need some advise girls...

[Rose280187]

I’m currently 12 weeks pregnant, haven’t had my scan yet. I met my partner 9 months ago and at first was a whirl wind romance.. then it all started to go down hill... he became controlling, stopped me from seeing my friends and telling me how to have my hair... criticised the way I look and said I wasn’t affectionate... the trouble is I bought him into my home in March (I have a 10 year dd from a previous relationship) he said he wanted to buy a home for us so hadn’t paid any bills but saved himself 8000.. the emotional abuse became too much and in the end I told him I couldn’t do it anymore, it’s hard as I do love the guy...

As soon as I said those words he packed his stuff from the house and left, went back on social media, deleted all photos of us and put a picture of himself on the beach...

The next day he messaged and said I had to get an abortion, wasn’t fair brining a child into a dysfunctional family... he didn’t apologise and was completely cold in his messages...

2 days after we split he reckons he’s got a new place, will need his tv, sky and internet back by tomorrow which means we will have no tv or internet...

Last night I came down Ill and went to a&e my bowel had gone into spasm due to stress... my mum messaged him to say he couldn’t collect his stuff as I was in hospital and he didn’t show a care in the world

At first The thought and even now of getting rid of the baby sickens me but if I keep it my whole life’s going to change, work, house and he will be in my life forever... and still trying to abuse me...

Can’t believe people like that exist.....

Just need some advise... please 😞

My scan is booked for wed and I can’t go for it if I plan to terminate..

What a twat ☹️ Regardless of how you choose to proceed you’ve done the best thing distancing yourself from him.

I’m not sure what I’d do to be honest, I think I’d terminate if I wasn’t sure I could do it on my own.. but whether I could actually go through with it I don’t know.

You’ve already made the best decision by kicking him out, and if you did decide to continue.. your child will be better off without him around x

I don't have any advice but wanted to offer an ear to listen.

You mention your mum, do you have any other people for support in real life? Do they know about the abuse?

It's a very difficult decision you need to make. I hope someone comes along with some good advice.

@NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking thanks for the reply. I know you are right, I don’t miss him but I miss having someone... which makes this all so much harder! I feel stupid I let it go on so long :(

@torthecatlady I had told my mum and my best friend but not anybody else in the family as I didn’t want them to think badly of him.. I just feel like he’s walked off with 8000 in savings and left me with nothing and gets to move on with his life and I’m left like this...

Thanks for the support ladies

@Rose280187

We’re all stupid sometimes, I’ve been with some abusive partners in the past, both physical and mental. What’s important is the lesson you take away from it x

Oh lovely, that's shit. Do you think you could cope on your own? Do you have family who could help out?
It's your decision whether you continue with the pregnancy. Your body, your choice. He does not get to dictate what happens next.

Don't protect him. Let your mum and friend know exactly what he's been like. He's been really horrible to you.

He's left you in a difficult situation. When really he should be stepping up and asking you what you need.

Don't be scared of being alone.

Honestly, I'd probably terminate. You'll be tied to him forever and eventually will probably have to let him have the baby alone. I'm not sure I could do it knowing how controlling he is.

I wouldnt give him the pleasure of knowing though. I'd say I'd lost it.

Whatever you decide has to be right for you. Have you spoken to your mum about this?

Iv been in a relationship like that he was a vile man it was brill at the begining then the emotional abuse started he wanted me to get pregnant and made me come off the pill... or so he thought i still took it without him knowing. No way i was having his baby because i knew then he'd never be out my life.

Good on you for getting rid of him when you did relationships like that are not healthy. Its upto you if you keep this baby not him. If i did get pregant from my ex i would have got a termination juat because of the way he was and the fact he basically fucked my head up with what he said and did to me.

He doesn't give a damn about the child so have your baby and don't put his name on the birth certificate and use your surname. It's not the baby's fault it has a crap father. Wish you all the best and your baby a long and healthy life away from the twat.

Don't let him or his thoughts enter your mind about the pregnancy. Just make the decision that is right for you. Pretend he never exists (in so far as your decision making process matters). Best wishes

I’ve been informed he’s done this before and hit his ex girlfriend.. glad I’ve had the closure I need to move on with my life.

Thanks everyone xx