Really hate bump comments and starters - what can I do??

[somersetsoul]

Just that really. I'm 23 weeks with no 3 and have a big bump. I hate the attention, comments and touchers.

I've been wearing a scarf and twice people have tried to move it to have a look. I hate it.

What can I do?? I have 10 weeks left of work and school runs to do so can't hide at home 😔

Title should say starers!! Stupid auto correct!

Ugh, I know how you feel. 26 weeks with no.3, big bump and I'm 5ft 9 and size 18/20. Now when I get "OMG you're HUGE!!!" I respond with "It's no surprise really, is it? I was hardly petite to start with...." or words to that effect. Seems to be working,and people are now telling me how well I look instead

Ugh one of my colleagues always stares at my bump whenever she sees me. The first thing she does is slide her eyes down. Getting a bit creeped out by it. I hate the staring!

A woman at school randomly touched my bump last week. (Granted in 36 weeks so rather large bump now) I'm not a huge fan of being touched regardless but by a stranger I freaked out a little. Next day when I saw her in the yard in went over and rubbed her tummy (even though there's more meat on a butchers pencil) when she asked what I was doing I simply told her "oh I thought this was acceptable! You rubbed my stomach yesterday I was simply repaying the action" needless to say she's not touched my belly twice.

I hate the fact people believe a pregnant woman's belly is fair game. People seem to believe that a bump is an invite for the world and his wife to fondle you :(

Urgh I used to hate this with a passion.

Things you could do about the touching...
Go further than the scarf and physically cover with an arm or handbag etc when poss
Do as pp said and touch them back
Dramatically flinch and turn away from any approaching hands

Personally I used to opt for saying things like "ooh you're pressing her down on my bladder" (they retreated fast in fear I would pee on their shoes 😂) or "ouch she's in a weird position right now that's kind of uncomfortable"

Any comments on how big you are return the favour and say "you too" (disclaimer this may lose you some friends)

I would really stop acquaintances from touching you though as ime once they think its ok to touch you, they are the first ones to put their hands in the pram when you've had the baby and start touching their faces etc which I wasn't keen on either

To any bump touchers:

"Ooh, this is awkward, I haven't been touched liked that in, well, approximately 23 weeks. I'll let MrSomerset know he has some competition!"

Then watch them back away at speed.

I like that one!!

Some fun answers here but personally I just go with 'please don't do that, it's not appropriate' (with a swift step backwards) They don't do it again. If it's a stranger, who cares, if it's someone who knows me, they should know better.

You wouldn't stand for random touching any other time so why it's ok when you're pregnant I'll never know.

Thanks all 🙂 It's nice to know it's not just me.

Good advice on the handbag, I'm going shopping today so will get a big one with a short handle!

I need to get ruder with people!

So you mind me asked what it is about the attention and comments that you don’t like?
I understand the touching but the attention?

Would you prefer not to have a bump at all and just have a baby at the end of it? Would you prefer if people just didn’t notice at all the whole time?
Is it because it makes you feel conscious of your size as a human being (bump or not?).

Sorry for all the questions, I read people feeling the same way as you a lot and I always wondered what it was that made them feel this way.

Bump comments are really annoying. I get them because I have a small bump. Am I eating enough... bound to be small baby... easy birth...lucky me . The measuring bang on target so i know it’s not as small as implied but makes me feel like I’m not growing it properly!

I get it, people don't look at my face anymore when they see me, they stare at the bump and it's not always positive attention more often than not it's comments on how huge I am, asking if it's twins (they know it's not) and shocked faces. I'm forever having to brush off comments, acknowledge my hugeness, and say I'm not due for months, it just wears you down a bit.

I never understand this
No-one ever commented, no-one ever touched me

Neither with me Tomboytown!

I didn't really notice the staring but that could be just that I wouldn't have cared anyway so probably not as sensitive to it.

But touching - NOOOO!

I can't remember if anyone ever actually did try to touch my bump (other than MIL) but I suspect that might be because a) anyone who knows me knows I am NOT a touchy person and so wouldn't even attempt it and b) because I'm not a touchy person and don't even like people "leaning" against me I think I give off a vibe that screams "come within 15 inches of me and I WILL bite you"

I once saw a woman in a maternity t-shirt with "do not touch" emblazoned across the bump - genius!

I don't want to offend anyone but if you don't get the staring/comments it's probably because you weren't as big looking proportionally. There are two other pregnant ladies where I work, one whose bump is tiny and I'm sure is sick of being labelled small, and one who looks like what I think of as a normal pregnant shape and then there's me, and I feel ridiculous by comparison and still have 3 1/2 months to go.

i think bump staring is as creepy as someone staring at your chest.

Just because you have a big bump doesn't give people the right to stare. It'd be rude to stare at someone with big boobs, definitely rude to touch them XD

in general i think it's creepy staring anywhere but someones face when talking to them.

I hate any attention. And why should anyone tell me 'your huge', 'your going to be massive' or ' you'll be waddling soon'. Its just bloody rude.

I've been and bought a lovely, big new handbag that hides my bump :) If anyone tries to move it to have a look I'll bash them on the head with it!

Some people have no boundaries or filters. They just think they can do or say anything they like without any consideration for how the recipient may feel or take it.

I'm dreading people trying to touch when I start showing. I will flinch though. Also dreading comments I know some people will make because that's what they're like.

@laurG I get comments about small bump too which at first I ignored as people genuinely think it's a nice thing to say. It's starting to grate on me now, I'm already concerned she's going to be too small!

@somerset good luck with the handbag trick! I'm sure some people are brazen enough to try and move it so god help them!

Urgh I hate it too. I just grab their tummies right back. That soon makes them rethink their actions. Similarly if they comment on your appearance, return the favour.

I feel you all! I went in town shopping one morning on my own and so many people stared at me, i was full of anxiety and ended up leaving town after 1 hour!! Its horrible, people act like they have never seen a pregnant lady in their life!!

Pregnant women used to be coyly referred to as being 'in an interesting condition' - because let's face it pregnancy is absolutely fascinating and wonderful. You are growing a whole new person in there!

I understand that some of the comments and certainly the touching are unacceptable but you are really going to have grow a thicker skin because once your baby's here there will be a whole lot more interest and attention

I've had one baby and the baby attention was nothing compared to the pregnany gawping

Same, I find a baby gets less attention. My next step is a Facebook post telling everyone to piss off!!