7 months pregnant and relationship falling apart

[Lauren6298]

My husband and I are expecting our first child in August and as my pregnancy has progressed, he’s become more and more withdrawn. He wanted this baby as much as I did when we started trying but he now seems to be having doubts.

He’s out 3 or 4 times a week, doesn’t really speak to me, doesn’t engage at all with the pregnancy. I know it can be normal for men to act like this and I’ve tried to be supportive but as I’m getting more tired and emotional, I’m finding it harder to hold it together. I feel constantly sick and on the verge of tears. It’s like a constant physical weight is on top of me and I’m struggling to bear it at the moment. I feel trapped because I’m so unhappy with our relationship as it is but am obviously not in a position to leave him at this point.

Has anyone experienced anything similar and it turned out ok? I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this if there’s no light at the end of the tunnel...

Yes! I was the same. Relationship just didn't feel the same even though we planned the pregnancy. I was expecting happy loving times and instead I got a withdrawn and distant partner. I made an effort to plan date nights in the last couple of months which helped a lot, just cinema trips. But I was very emotional and tired in last trimester. I think everything is heightened in those last few months.

Good news is everything is back to normal, if not better now. I had a pretty terrible birth, I think seeing me go through that gave my partner a new found love for me. Strangely he can't keep his hands off me, but now I'm the distant aloof one as I'm bloody exhausted and my body doesn't feel the same. I know it will all go back to normal soon. I'm just glad to have some attention from my partner again, I was worried he was going to leave me for a long time.

Hang in there, it could just be that your husband is enjoying his last few weeks of freedom before becoming a dad. Men act differently to us, when they worry about things they keep it all inside. Try talking to him about his worries and plan some date nights together.

Good luck xx

@TwinkleMerrick thank you so much, you have no idea how much your message means to me. I have just cried so many tears of relief hearing that it has all turned out well for you.

I sway between worrying that he’ll leave me and feeling that it’d be for the best, for all 3 of us. Not how I imagined this longed for pregnancy would turn out!

I’m really happy for you and hope that things continue to go well. Thank you again x

Sounds like you need to have a good chat with him. Do you have a good friend nearby that you could talk to as well? It sometimes helps to voice fears. Xx

No problem, be a bit kinder to yourself. The last trimester is hard work! Your hormones will be all over the place. Don't just worry about your husband, plan done nice things for yourself. Even if it's just watching a girlie film, take some time for yourself because once baby comes you won't have that opportunity again for a long time xx

@aetw we’re going to speak this weekend and both say how we’re feeling and see what we can do to make things better. All my friends seem to have really supportive and excited husbands...I’ve spoken to them about it but I think they’re worried as well rather than being able to say that they’ve been through it and it gets better x