Diagnosed with Bursitis & SPD- OH refuses to help!

[lottie10312]

Hi Mumsnetters,

I am now 13+6 and have been diagnosed with acute bursitis in my hip and SPD. I am in a lot of pain and finding it really hard to settle at the moment, and moving around is agony.
GP has advised me to take it easy and not to do too much housework etc and that driving is 100% not allowed.
Obviously, this has taken me by surprise a little as I have always been very active and now I have to slow right down.
I spoke to OH about this and he is saying that he thinks he shouldn't have to do anything because he already works a 50+ hour week. I don't expect him to do everything, but I do want him to just help me a little more than he has been.
I also asked him to take me to the supermarket so we can get some shopping in and he just moaned and grumbled about getting an online delivery, but I'm not sure he appreciates that if he doesn't drive me, I don't get to leave the house.
I'm finding it increasingly hard to talk to him about how I am feeling as he always tells me about how much worse he has it- I tell him every day that I appreciate what he does but I think it's falling on deaf ears at the moment!
I know a lot of his reaction is because since I lost my job, he's had to take on a lot more responsibility (I've always been the main earner so my income has paid all the bills and his pays for shopping and the luxuries) and I think he resents me for it, but I'm at my wits end, if I'm not bawling because of my hormones, it's because of the pain!
Any advice would be really appreciated..

I haven’t been able to drive since 16 weeks so like yourself, if my husband or my mother doesn’t take me somewhere I don’t leave the house.

While I appreciate this is tough for your husband he needs to realise how awful it is for you. He really needs to step up and start contributing a lot more. It won’t be forever, but for now you are very reliant on him.

Things I’ve done to try and ease the burden on my husband as he also does 12 hr days, is online grocery shopping and all of our baby purchases have been online.

I’m really not fit to be on my feet for more than a few minutes at a time, but I try to do very small tasks broken down as much as possible. I try to have dinner ready for my DH getting home from work (simple dinners!) and I make sure I’m showered and dressed.

These are things I can do, but everything else falls to my DH. I hate it as I was very active and independent but it’s no ones fault, and we just have to deal with it as best we can.

Given that you have a long way to go in your pregnancy I think you need to have a serious chat with your husband about how you are both going to manage the next 6 months.