Feeling kicks making me anxious

[SpongeCake23]

I'm 21+4, expecting a boy and I suffer with anxiety and panic.
I thought I'd be feeling calmer as I'm feeling him move around, but it's actually making me more anxious. If I don't feel him regularly, I get myself into a panic. I know I shouldn't be feeling him in a pattern at the moment anyway and he's small enough to hide still, but I feel like I'm constantly aware of movements, trying to feel him even when at work. If I don't, I get really panicky.

All I read and hear about is counting kicks and it's making me so so anxious for the coming weeks and spoiling the pregnancy for me.

I already have OCD and intrusive thoughts, alongside health anxiety that manifests itself in checking my body for signs something is wrong. So this is a recipe for disaster as you can imagine!

Anyone else going through this?

I think this may need to be something you speak to your midwife about. You can get some great apps to help you track feeling movements when you are a little further along. Your hospital antenatal triage will also never turn you away if you are concerned as it is best to be safe than sorry! Believe me I have my 2 week old 34 weeker lying on my chest and we are so glad we got checked out as the results would not have been so favourable

@Thetimehascometo The problem is, due to my anxiety, I'd be at the hospital everyday. I used to be like this about my own health, at A&E everyday almost. It's too much. I don't know what to do for the best. Counting the kicks will send me spiralling, I can feel it already.

Again speak to your midwife... she will be best placed to advise your

Speak to your midwife who can refer you for support etc - also depending where you are (our area for example) so many visits to EPU triggers consultant led for MH reasons as midwives class as high risk.

hope you are keeping well and speak to your care team.

I don't know how often you are expecting to feel movements. They don't move around constantly, they spend quite a lot of time napping, just like real babies. 21 weeks is early anyway, but I would generally say if you feel him once during the day then that is probably fine.

I also have (fairly under control) health anxiety so I do know where you're coming from. I'm 23+3 and baby is really trying to freak me out at the moment with varying what I'd come to think of as an established pattern. I'm seeing the midwife tomorrow and will ask her to give me some clear pointers on what constitutes normal/reduced movement. If no one else has posted anything comprehensive in the meantime I will report back.

But please don't let your anxiety kick in at this point, as you say baby is still tiny and will be floating around or kicking you in places you can't feel xx

Anxiety will always find a way to manifest itself - I remember your previous threads when it was bleeding. Obviously that turned out to be fine but now it's baby's movement. Soon it will be something else.

Have you seen your GP about your anxiety? They could help you tackle the root cause of it.

I suffer with anxiety too and I understood how horrible it is. It is possible to break the cycle with the right support

Sorry to hear you're going true this. I was told not to focus on number of kicks or compare kick per minute to averages etc, but just start to gradually tune into your own little baby's pattern. It mightn't be much of a pattern at this stage but as the weeks go on you'll start to notice when is most active and can then just keep an eye on it sticking to that (roughly speaking)

I could have written your OP! I'm 24+5 and have been in twice because I was concerned about movement. The first time I think they should've turned me away (6 weeks ago, so literally nothing they could do), the second time I knew nothing was wrong really, but had myself in such a state I was crying on the phone. I have a diagnosis of anxiety and OCD. I'm afraid I don't have helpful advice. I have an appointment with the perinatal mental health team on Monday. When it came through (I was referred after the crying on the phone) I felt OK, but I'd rather be in the system. Since then I have had one day of really bad anxiety again, although I managed not to call and go in. I would strongly suggest you get a referral for your perinatal mental health team - I am pretty sure my anxiety will not disappear when the baby is here! Big hug, PM me if you want to chat!