Feeling unsure about being pregnant

[Batey1]

Hi, just found out I’m a few weeks pregnant which was a total shock as it wasn’t planned. I’m 35 with a 5 and 9yr old. I really don’t know how to feel about it and keep feeling extremely emotional. My husband thinks we may struggle as we’re comfortable as we are and we also have only 3 bedrooms so would be a squeeze. I’m totally torn, one minute I think we could manage, the girls could share rooms etc and the next I feel devastated and upset. I can already feel my body changing and constantly feel sick. Has anyone else felt this. I literally feel so different about how I feel every hour or so. I have had a mc before my last daughter was born which totally devastated us so don’t know if I can go through that when it’s by choice 😢

Hello. Just wanted to say that I am in exactly the same position right now. Found out a week ago I was pregnant with DC3 (currently 8 weeks) and am changing my mind about 10 times a day about how I feel about it. We just can't decide what to do and are thinking through all the practical stuff that you are thinking through op - bedrooms in house, effect on other kids etc etc. So, I know what you're going through right now and it's hard.

Isn’t it just! One minute I think right we can do this we can make it work, the next I’m in floods of tears! It sounds silly but we’ve just had all my daughters furniture made to fit her small room! If we were to go ahead we’d just fit a small cot in there without ripping all the furniture out again, on the other hand I think it’s all material stuff so does it matter! Are you swaying more to one side? What does your other half think? We’ve got a full on weekend planned for my daughters birthday so I’ve said we need to focus on that and then try and decide which way to go next week. I also worry that if me and my husband don’t agree that we will resent each other for it! X

My DH has said that ultimately my view trumps his as it is my body, but other than that we are both changing our minds constantly. I go from thinking that we can do it, it will be a tough first year, but we can make it work etc to thinking that if we went ahead we would be ruining our lives and having a negative effect on our current DC (less time to spend with them, exhausted and distracted etc). Also, I know it sounds selfish, but our youngest is 18 months now (oldest is 7) and we are just starting to come out of the baby phase and get our lives back . . . . Need to have made a decision by this time next week though!

I actually think that once the decision is made - whatever it is - both DH and I will feel relieved and be able to deal with it. I think. But in reality I have no idea how I will feel if I have a termination.

I see what you mean, just coming out of the baby phase! At least you’ll still be in the swing of things on the plus side and probably have a few baby things? I think my 2 would be happy about it until they got sick of sharing a room! We’re exactly the same as you though. After the miscarriage and how it made us feel I don’t know whether i could go through with a termination. If you want to chat just message me! Going through the same thing and all xxx

Thanks Batey. It's a bloody hard decision to make!

I’m around 6 weeks and already feel like my body’s changed and feel my stomachs so different. I think it’s because I’ve already done it 3 times before. That makes it’s difficult as well!

Just to say I am in the same boat and now at 8 weeks am slowly coming round to the idea of having a third. But i just cannot feel happy about it yet....