When to start maternity leave? Very physical job

[Firsttimechloe]

Hello! :)

I’m currently 24 weeks and trying to figure out when to begin my maternity leave. I have a very physical job as a bar manager which involves a lot of 10/11 hour long busy shifts on my feet and I’m already exhausted! I had planned to use a bit of annual leave from around 34 weeks, and then start ML around 36, but the thought of getting through another 10 weeks at the height of summer is filling me with dread! I’m worried about going too early though and loosing out on time off with my baby! Has anyone had any experience of a similar situation? All of my friends with children have office jobs, and it’s not really comparable!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 😘 x

I worked in a pub years ago and I know how heavy going it can be. I think you are doing marvellously to still be going at 24 weeks. I am currently 23 weeks and struggling (and I've just had 2 weeks off work and only work part time). I'm stopping at 29 weeks. I stopped at 29 weeks in my second pregnancy and 38 weeks in my first. First time around I was only taking 9 months off and didn't want to loose time at the other end. I should have stopped earlier due to pgp. I stopped at 29 weeks last time due to pgp and sciatica (but I was also taking 15 months off) I'm stopping at 29 weeks this time partly because I'm going the same way as before and partly because I only work term time only and so I'm naturally stopping when it's the summer holidays and then taking a bit of annual leave before starting mat leave officially at 38 weeks.

Everyone has different reasons for finishing at different times. If you're struggling already can you schedule your time differently? Have you had a risk assessment? Are you taking enough breaks?

Can you make any adjustments? For instance, could you have a strategically placed bar stool so you get at least some time off your feet?

Whatever you do I think the key thing is that you listen to your body, and if it says stop - stop. I had pgp and tried to soldier through too much. I'm ok now, but it was horrible at the time and took a fair bit of Physio to fix after giving birth. Nobody will give you any prizes for keeping going when you ought to stop, so do what you need to do.

Thank you so much! I feel a bit silly for being so tired already, with such a long way still to go! I could do a little more to rearrange my schedule, and maybe take better-timed breaks, I’m lucky in that I have a very supportive and understanding line manager and employer so do have those options open to me, but in some ways being given so many options has made it really tricky to figure out what the best thing to do is!

29 weeks sounds like a reasonable time to finish work, and probably much more realistic than 34.

I worked till 35 weeks with dc1&2, office based in the NHS. With dc3 I’d taken a career break and was working 5 evening shifts a week in a bar/ restaurant. I stopped at 32 weeks and definitely couldn’t have done anymore.

I'm in a job on my feet all day, 11/12 hour shifts. I'm 32 weeks and am counting down the MINUTES to 36 weeks when I told them I'd go on mat leave. It's hard going I have to say and I was silly to think I could go on this long...

Don't over do it that's all I'll say!!

Ps, would they let you do half days using annual leave? I asked my employer and they said no but worth an ask... Ie use 2 weeks weeks annual leave to do 4 weeks worth of half days?

Thank you all for your advice. Definitely makes me feel less “weak” for being so tired! Part time/half days is a really good idea, i hadn’t thought of that. Like you say definitely worth an ask

I would put a middle ML start date. If you get signed off sick (which your Gp will do if you aren’t managing) then it automatically starts your maternity leave. So you can always start earlier if you need to!

I managed a restaurant whilst pregnant with DD, I worked until my due date and thoroughly regretted it!! I didn't get to enjoy being pregnant and I felt like I was trying to prove something, a sort of "I'm not ill I'm only pregnant, I don't have to change anything".
I was very uncomfortable, had varicose veins from the running and carrying and spent a fair amount of time crying on my commute home at midnight.
It wasn't worth it OP, go as early as poss and spend some time rubbing that gorgeous belly and getting ready for the little one to arrive. And congratulations!!

Self employed gardener here. Have stopped now at 34 weeks, although I was only keeping on one bit of contracting work, so not full time (ft job is toddler wrangling). Worked until 34 weeks with first baby too. Really depends on how you're feeling, but fwiw, I feel continuing to work in a physical job really assisted my first labour to be quick and easy (induced at 39 weeks, six hours ARM to baby) because I was physically quite fit. Best of luck and remember you might find you really want to get back to work by 9 months. I went back part time at around 3 months and it helped my sanity a bit!

Does your company pay sick leave? If so can you get signed off with a doctor's note for a few weeks of sick leave, without officially starting mat leave?

Dental Nurse here, on feet most of the day, running from room to room trying to keep appointment times on track etc. First pregnancy and I thought staying until 38 weeks would be do-able as I didn't want to look 'weak', 'lazy' or 'selfish' for taking time before birth rather than spending it with baby. Then I hit 30 weeks and the summer heat kicked in and I realized I was being unrealistic and no one was going to give me a medal for staying longer than I was able - so I am now leaving at 36 weeks instead.

Listen to your body. Managing a bar is hard work, physically and mentally! Try not to worry about loosing time at the other side with your baby, you'll have them forever - you need to make sure you take care of YOU as well!

You’re all making me feel so much better! Thank you! I definitely feel that “I’m not ill I’m just pregnant” thing, I hate feeling like I’m letting people down or the idea that I look lazy or weak, even though my colleagues have been fantastically supportive and are always telling me to stop or go sit down.

It’s so nice to know there are other mums to be struggling with the same dilemma!

I'm a healthcare assistant in a hospital and I was planning on staying til 35 or 36 weeks but as I am bank staff I keep being sent home from work and wards keep cancelling my shifts as they don't want me there because I'm pregnany. so I've ended up going off early at 32 weeks. not my choice but it has become too much of a struggle to be on my feet for 12 hours a day in the heat

Can I just add, in the nicest possible way... if it’s a small company they can claim back SMP so actually being there but not fully doing your job is probably worse for the company than going earlier. Not that you should at all make your decision based on that, but if it helps justify it!

Hello. Fellow restaurant manager here so boy do I understand the hell of an afd... So I kinda got lucky and our holiday allowance restarts in January so I was able to convince my manager that it would be very good of him to let me book all 28 days in a block. So although my ML officially starts on 17th June (37ish weeks) I stopped working mid May about 33 weeks. However I had been signed off for a few weeks before that as our job being pregnant and long hours caused me to have the worst back issues ... to the point I could barely walk at the end of the shift so probably left around 29 weeks. Which for me was enough ... Totally understand the "letting the team down" vibe as I felt awful that I couldn't move quick enough to help them but they were the ones who were like go and sit down. As for breaks let's be honest in our trade wtf is a break even if it does break the law... what law 😋 ... Do what is best for you and bump xx