Am I too old to try for a baby at 43?

[Cutty]

I have an 9 year old and 5 miscarriages,
Should I try again at 43; I got no explanations for any of the miscarriagees..?
I can’t get over the guilt for not giving my son someone to play with.

First of all you shouldn't feel guilty for something that was out of your control. If you want another baby and you are sure you would cope then who's stopping you? Definitely not too old in my opinion. I'm sure you have a lot of love to give to a new Bubba! If you are worried about miscarriage then just be sure you are prepared for anything that could go wrong. There is nothing to say you cant physically carry a child at 43, though complications can be higher so if you want another baby then try, just be prepared. Good luck!

I wouldn’t personally unless I was on some form of treatment, as I’d expect to have anothe mc. It’s that more than your age. I’ve had a child at 42 after rmcs, but the treatment for natural killer cells helped me in the end. My dc have a big age gap and although they are company for each other they don’t play together as at very different stages, I wouldn’t be too influenced by that worry.

I dont think you should have a baby put of guilt....but if you and your partner want a baby, and you are familiar with the increased risks then why not? I'm nearly 41 and really broody again, my youngest is nearly 7 and it would be madness for many health/financial/relationship reasons to have another baby, but I do spend time day dreaming about it. I'm so sorry for your miscarriages

there are a lot of benefits to having an only. a pregnant mum then a new sibling will massively affect his life in many ways, most of them negative (if you look at it through the eyes of a 9 year old). I thonk you should stick at 1.

With a 9 or 10 year age gap it won't be a playmate. Maybe when they 20 and 29 they become good friends.
You risk another miscarriage
You risk a child with SEN or mefical issues

But if you prepared for whatever happens then go for it.

My mum had me when she was 44. 16 years between me and my sister. And numerous miscarriages inbetween.

OMG some ageist stuff on here. OP - yes it is possible to conceive / have a healthy baby at 43/44 but risks of miscarriage and foetal abnormalities are higher than under 40. It really depends what you and your husband want and how resilient you feel to about dealing with miscarriage again or medical issues.

There's a 40+ pregnancy thread on here. Take a read through it and see what they say about the extra risks, tests etc.

I agree that a baby isn't going to be a playmate for your son but he will have a sibling to share things with and as they both get older, they'll become closer.

Would you want to try again with the worry of miscarrying again? This is a decision only you can make but if you decide that you do want to try again I certainly wouldn't let age stand in your way.

Wishing you luck with whatever you choose to do x

codswallop I think it is you talking codswallop - point to the ageist stuff on this thread? It all seems very supportive

Codswallop 😂 really? You pretty much said the same as EVERYONE else on this thread so far. I'm confused as to why you seem to think some people are being ageist?

I had ds at 43, no issues. Ttc again at 44 resulted in 3 chemicals and a mmc at 8 weeks. 2 years on we have given up.

Ttc but be prepared for an emotional journey - good luck op.

I agree with PP; with that age gap they wouldn't be playmates anyway. I have also seen a lot of behaviour problems from previously only children who get a baby sibling at this age. You know your son best, however, and not all children would struggle that way. If you're going to try for another, do it for your own reaaons, not for your son.