Can’t decide on abortion or not

[Fwalsh31]

Hi I’m a 31 yr old married mother of four and found out last week I’m pregnant again! Massive shock as our family was complete and I’ve gone back to part time work recently. I have a medical abortion booked for the 14/6 at Marie stopes which at first I was sure I wanted but now as it nears I’m doubting my choice, husband doesn’t want any more children and tried three times for the snip but Gp said he was too young, if I decided I wanted to keep baby husband would be fine with it, my mum on the other hand wouldn’t and that’s a main concern even though I’m married with children she still worries as I’ve had complication previous pregnancies. Anyone with advice would be greatly appreciated x

Sorry you're going through this. It's such a hard choice. I think you have to follow your gut instinct. Either way will be challenging. You've got 4 children to think about too. I'm sure your hubby will support you either way. Sorry prob not very helpful advice, I've been in a similar situation and I just had to follow what my gut was telling me, good luck x

What kind of complications? I had eclampsia and it was scary. I only had one child because if it. I can understand your reasoning. Is your income needed? I’m not sure one more mouth to feed will make too much difference. Do you have room in your home for one more? So much to consider. I’d get my doctors opinion if possible.

If you are unsure then cancel the appointment for now...remember that once the abortion is done, the baby will be dead and gone and you can't change your mind, so cancel it and allow yourself a chance to think and be sure , also don't allow your husband to Infuence your decision, remember it is your baby too , he doesn't get to decide what you do...please take time to think carefully so that you make the right choice for you and your family...remember we are all here for you if you need to talk

No that’s lovely advice thank you x

I’ve had pre eclampsia with one and high blood pressure with three weekly hospital monitoring from 30 weeks and they have all been induced early, I appreciate all you advice and I will take them on board and keep you updated xx

Hardest decision to make, I am sorry you are going through this. I found out I was pregnant with this one and wasn't expecting it either, I did exactly the same as you and had similar worries. I spoke to hubby, he was excited but kinda expected me to get rid as we had pretty much only just settled properly with our youngest, had been through a lot for the last few years etc. I booked an appointment with Marie stopes as I was so sure that we wouldn't cope and I didn't want to go through another section as my last two c sections were awful. It's all I thought about for the two weeks leading to the appointment, was crying every day, depressed, spoke to hubby about it every day but in the last couple days leading to the appointment I decided I just couldn't go through with it. I was scared but decided my reasons for wanting to get rid were selfish. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I figured that I had done it twice before already and I knew I could love another child just as much, no matter how hard. I'm 38 weeks now, having my c section on the 14th June and I'm dreading it but I did what I felt was right... You must do what is right for yourself and your family. If you know you just can't put yourself through it because of your previous pregnancies and if you wouldn't cope going through it all over again then don't. Think about that first, about how YOU will feel, before and after the baby and then if your family life would still be happy with a new addition. I wouldn't place part of my decision on what my mum might think. Will you be able to live with the fact you had an abortion and if you decided to keep the baby would you still be happy?

I'm pregnant with my 4th and i felt the same when i found out.

I wasn't planning anymore children.

Things are very complex for me to we carry a genetic condtion with a 1 in 4 chance of passing on and my youngest son was born at 28 weeks.

Don't do anything before your sure, i really thought about it before deciding to continue. X