Am I just being hormonal?

[LadyPug]

I text my oldest and best friend of over 20 years this week to tell her my newborn daughters name and a picture and she replied saying how nice it was then today she text me asking if we had a name yet? She has recently broken up with her partner so I’m wondering if maybe she’s just a bit scatty but dh pointed out she never messages me or asks how I am and only ever talks about herself. Am I right to be upset that she forgot we had spoken about my daughters name 5 days ago or am I overreacting because I’ve just had a baby and I’m hormonal? I just feel like she has let me down so much in the past year and all she talks about is herself and this is the final straw. But am I being too harsh?

It's understandable to be upset because it's important to you but just tell her again, she's just forgotten. Ultimately your baby is the biggest thing going on in your life not hers and something like a breakup could cause lack of sleep/bad memory. She might be a self involved person but you've got bigger priorities especially 5 days after having a baby, just focus on your new family for now.

She may feel awful about forgetting. Agree with the poster above - something like a breakup could have had an impact on memory. Although I do understand why you’re upset too.

If you’re in contact with her less, does she make the effort to contact you? Also, having a baby might just be something she can’t relate to and you’re both just going through different phases of your lives.

Thanks guys, you’re right. I ended up texting her to check she was ok as it’s unusual not to remember something like that but she didn’t even reply :-( she doesn’t reply to most of my texts asking how she is, she cancelled coming to my baby shower as she was ill, she bailed the last time we were supposed to meet up too. I think we are at very different life stages if I’m honest. She is single and enjoying the single city girl life or off to festivals and I’m very much married, two kids, settled down etc so I guess it’s natural to drift a little, I just feel a bit sad that she couldn’t remember I had told her the name and that she just doesn’t call unless she needs something or has a problem. She never asked how my pregnancy was :-( I just need to grow up and realise she has her own stuff going on I guess

I don’t think you need to grow up - of course it is upsetting and natural to feel sad about it. You’ve been friends for yonks. You might find that it becomes one of those friendships where you have less contact, but at the end of the day when you see each other now and again, it’s like you weren’t apart.

Me and my friend of around 20 years are the same. We have different lives, she had her first baby 9 years ago and I’m just having my first. We were naturally just doing different things in life....even after all these years of living about 300 miles apart and long periods where life gets in the way - we still know that friendship is there and we can pick up the phone any time 🙂.

Can you subtlety drop in the conversation that you’d told her your daughters name?