Advise or your point of view please...

[Rose2887]

I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant, I have a dd whos 10 today from a previous relationship. The issue I’m having is, my partner and I recently moved in together and things I hadn’t noticed so much before have become apparent...
I wanted to know what you think or what your partners are like for a comparison..
He seems so sexist, he works full time and plays on this a lot, I work 3 days a week and he constantly tells me that I have a a luxurious life so much so that I have to be the cleaner, buy the food shopping, do all the washing etc, he says that his job is to be in the garden..
He then went on to say when he supports me and I’ve had the baby he’s expecting everything to be done by myself, which some parts I do understand.
Yesterday I worked a long shift and came back exhausted, he got up out of bed and 1pm in the afternoon and then moaned as he had to do the food shop???

I told him he’s sexist and that I wasn’t always under the impression as a could you share responsibilities???

I’m just worried as if he can’t be supportive whilst I’m pregnant Is he ever??

He wouldn’t even get up this morning and make me a coffee?

Am I asking too much or is it hormonal? I don’t know :(

Are you asking too much? No of course not he sounds like a dick!
If you work less than him you should be doing a higher proportion of the household tasks but they should be decided by both of you not dictated!
Sort this out now, it’s only going to get worse.

He sounds like a dickhead. Sorry OP.

Sometimes you need to iron things out, but a decent guy would understand that things should be roughly 50/50. So if he's at work all day and you're with the baby there's an understanding you've both done a day's work and to split other chores in the evening. And yes, I'd expect him to be more understanding when you're pregnant - it's freaking exhausting, especially the first trimester. If he can't see that now I'd be worried about the future.

I appreciate that's not much help, hope you manage to figure things out

I agree with PP that you should be doing a higher proportion of tasks but that doesn’t means he gets to do nothing.

If a man was ever going to look after you you think it would be when you’re pregnant, yet he wouldn’t even make you a coffee.

I definitely think you need to discuss this now before the baby arrives, bringing lots of extra work!

Does this chap actually even love you? I can’t imagine anyone, male or female, talking to a loved one like that. Surely he should be solicitous of your pregnancy, rushing to help you, offering you a cup of tea and a sit down while he cooks dinner, when you come in exhausted?
Early pregnancy can be very tiring, with nausea and a constant craving for sleep. You need a caring, supportive partner, not someone who is coldly apportioning extra chores to you.
Time to sit down and have a serious talk with him about his attitude, and about pulling his weight in the marriage. And whether he has any idea what love means.

I agree, serious talk needed, sounds pretty unacceptable.

If he works full time and you work three days a week then of course you should do more.
But everything? Sod that!
Is he honestly expecting to take on no part of parenting a newborn? Really?

Sorry to be negitive but I'm
Just currently breaking up with my partner over this exact issue! He's expects everything of me it's mad! And only works 25 hours a week! Still manages to find time for the gym and clean his car etc and I can't even find my hair brush or do my make up

It probably won't get better sorry to say and I would leave him now rather than when the babies born as it's much harder for me now! Wish I had left before when I first had my doubts x

Shape up or ship out, as they say.

Nip it in the bud now OP.
Plus this is teaching your eldest daughter what it’s like to live with a man, and if you don’t want her to be a slave to a male then she needs to witness change.

Thanks for all your comments...
things go back to being okay but then last night he had a go at me because one of my texts was brief.... 🤔 I was so tired, had been at work all day and just wanted to chill, I said to him it seems as though he’s picking an argument and he then went on to say I never listen to him etc...
we ended up going to bed and not talking, I couldn’t sleep and kept thinking about feeling so lonely, and scared at this stage!

Woke up this morning and he’d left the kitchen a mess, used all the milk up so I can’t even have a coffee and no goodbye...

Thought this was meant to be a happy time, a time where your partner made you feel special?