Meant to be going on a hen do... help!!

[Amz60]

Hi everyone

I am meant to be going on a hen do to Ibiza soon however I’m in the very early weeks of pregnancy. By then I’ll only be 13 weeks and will only have had my scan about 4 days before I go!

I know I could still go but I’m not sure Ibiza is the best place for a pregnant lady!

I’m really not sure what to tell my friends as I cannot leave it until 4 days before (when I’ve had my scan) to tell them I’m not coming but at the same time I don’t want to be telling everyone before I’m out the danger zone!!

Anyone got any good white lies I can tell? Xx

How far away is it? Could you tell bride that you are trying to conceive at the moment and if you do get lucky this month or next then you wount be going. Can’t say it’s going be any fun sober!

Failing that fake a clash of
Holiday bookings at work and oh dear as luck you got short straw.

Or partners grandad 100th birthday everyone must attend!

It depends how well they know you. Could you say it's a family member's e.g. 60th birthday and you're already committed to going?

Or just tell the truth x

They know me too well! And unfortunately one of them know it’s so easy for me to get last min holidays so that won’t work either 😭

Have a feeling I’m just going to need to tell everyone before the 12 weeks.

Why can't you go 13 weeks pregnant and not tell them anything in advance? I think it's great to get as much time in as possible with your friends before your baby arrives, it gets so much harder.
With any luck, by 13 weeks you'll be feeling ok too, so even if you head home a little earlier than others, you'll be able to enjoy sleeping in, sunning yourself and swimming in the mornings!

They're your friends- tell them before 12 weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️ if you had a miscarriage would you tell them about it/want their support? If so, what's the issue with telling them?

I would just go and show willing if you’re feeling well! Make the most of being baby-free at the moment!

I'm not sure why you wouldn't go to be honest. It'll be your last child free holiday for a while!

I had the exact same thing a few weeks ago with a hen do in Portugal at 9 weeks! In the end I told the bride and my group of friends (5 of the 14 girls who were going). Really glad i did, meant i didnt have to worry about not drinking and my afternoon naps were ok! I reallly enjoyed myself and was glad I wasnt trying to hold up a lie the whole weekend. I think the bride told her bridesmaids (one of the handed me a glass of orange juice after preparing everyone Mimosas for breakfast!) some of the others girls noticed I wasn't drinking but told them I wasn't a big drinker and the rest I don't think even noticed!
If I was doing it again I would tell then and go x

I have a few hen dos this year 😬 - be honest and tell them they will be understanding plus you can slope off early in the evenings without feeling guilty x

So I recently had a hen do and decided not to tell the bride / the rest of the girls as I was so early in the pregnancy etc. I really regret the decision, i felt like instead of giving them an opportunity to be supportive, I just came across as really moody and lame. Everyone is different, but thought I would share because I would tell people if I coild do ot over....

I can’t see the issue.

I would go, tell friends I was pregnant the week before, and have a lovely relaxing weekend in the sun - something which will become more difficult to do in a few months time!

If you really don’t want to go I wouod tell the truth to whoever is organising.

Why can't "pregnant ladies" go to Ibiza?

Ive been on 3 away hen dos (and as many UK ones) so far this year... the first away one I was 14 weeks and had just had my scan and told people the week before.

Could you not tell the bride (or someone else you are close to) before? And then everyone else can find out when you get there? Or when you announce it?

I'm not a big drinker anyway, and don't need a drink to have fun, so they have all been fine! And they have been in typical hen locations, so party central!

Got my last abroad one coming up in a few weeks (I'll be 26 weeks) and I'm mostly worried about being so tired, but if I am, I'll just go back to the hotel and sleep, I don't think anyone will really care!

I understand where you’re coming from. We really didn’t want to tell anyone before the scan....which is difficult with my friends as I’m never one to turn down a prosecco or Sauvignon Blanc!!

Anyway, we decided to not tell people - we had several social events in between. One with my hubbies family, where we always drink prosecco. I tried disguising it by putting schloer in a champagne glass. They worked it out, but were so good and didn’t say a word. I kept pulling sickies for the other social events, and most of my friends basically worked it out and again, were amazing and didn’t push me to say anything and waited until I told them after the scan.

Anyway - even so, it just depends on how you feel and as some posters have said, if you’re ok with your friends knowing all scenarios, then there’s no issue in just saying. Sounds like it could be a lovely opportunity to hang out with them before the wee one comes along.

I thought it’d be pants hanging out with people who are enjoying drinks from there (now everyone knows) and it’s really not. I just need an earlier night now. If you go on the trip, I’d say to listen to your body if you feel you need rest.

Just tell them you’re pregnant and then go to Ibiza, surely?