AIBU? People smoking over pregnant women

[Bibijayne]

I'm 26 weeks - and as a shorty - very, very obviously pregnant.

It was nice and sunny at lunch today - so I waddled 10 minutes into town (it's usually a quicker walk... but I sort of waddle now). And got a mango sorbet.

I sat on a big circular bench outside - but under a tree for shade. It was at this point an empty bench.

This lady - well dressed in her 60s - yakking on her mobile phone - looks at me and sits right next to me... within mere inches. Which is kinda odd - but whatever.

She then lights up a fag and proceeds to blow the smoke all over me. the very obviously pregnant lady. Literally blowing it at me.

I finished my sorbet and told her she was incredibly rude and entitled and it's poor form to sit right next to an obviously pregnant lady to blow fag smoke over them - especially when there's plenty of seating elsewhere (the bench was large... and not the only bench available).

She tried to pretend I wasn't there and muttered she was on the phone. I left.

I just don't get it. I'm in Wales, where it's likely smoking in the sort of public place we were will soon be banned (yay). But while not a fan of smoking, I'm not usually one to say something or have a go unless someone is breaking the law. But this just seemed massively inconsiderate. If there was nowhere else, I might have understood a bit more. But there wasn't. And she was blowing it at me, an obviously pregnant stranger.

Grrr.

I agree. That is completely inconsiderate to anyone but ESPECIALLY a pregnant lady. Smoking is very antisocial, and it makes other people around you stink.

Summers here

Why didn't you move? I find it unlikely she was blowing it all over you in the exaggerated way you've outlined but can understand you being irritated.

Just move next time. OP

I don't understand why you just didn't get up and move, you can't have been that concerned

I think it's very rude to blow smoke all over any stranger. I think it's a bit precious to think that it will do your baby any harm to be exposed to some of the smoke from one cigarette in an outdoor space, though, so I don't think it was necessary to make a big fuss of your pregnancy. I would have moved, but that's also what I'd do if not pregnant in that situation.

i think its common decency to not go near a pregnant woman while smoking, and you were sitting there first so why should you have to move! so she was obviously a self righteous cow and good on you for speaking up.

Why did you finish your sorbet then make a big song and dance?! Surely moving would be most helpful to you and to your baby (congratulations by the way!)? Sure say something to her if you felt that way inclined but the fact she did it in the first place kind of implies that she actually doesn't care.

You’re not BU. Smoking is gross. Some people are just knobs. They won’t give a toss when you’ve got your baby in your pram either. Just gotta look after yourself and keep moving. X

Hi posters - I did move. And I did have words. We're talking less than a minute from her lighting up to me having words and leaving.

But I think it's pretty awful for someone to force another person to move because of their dangerous and anti-social habit.

"Why did you finish your sorbet then make a big song and dance?! "

Because I had less than a small plastic spoon's worth of sorbet which was already on its way to my mouth when she began blowing smoke :)

And yes - it's clear she didn't case. However she was obviously the sort of lady who cares about public perceptions about her - as she looked flustered when passers by looked at her.

I agree, whether pregnant or not I don’t want my space invaded by cancer causers. The fuss people make over a possible asthma attack if someone sprays aerosol deodorant etc (fair enough though), yet smoking around others is okay.
Even taking health out of it, you wouldnt sit down next to someone eating and do a massive stinking fart to make them feel 🤢 and put off lunch, so why is smoking okay.

Sorry I am on a rant as went for walk at lunch and forced to walk through groups of smokers congregating outside office and again outside boots and now my hair and cloths stink. Just ugh

@gardengeek - equally frustrating and inconsiderate!

As I said before, if there was nowhere else I'd likely be annoyed but considerably less so.

Most smokers are selfish. They stand in door ways, inside bus stops, even walk around Butlins smoking instead of using the obvious smoking shelters. It's vile Glad you spoke up for yourself, OP!

@GardenGeek Glad to see you are a considerate smoker, need more like you!

Maybe if you’d poured your sorbet over her hair and clothes she might have gotten your point.

OP you should buy a no smoking sign off amazon and carry it in your bag with you then place it against the wall/bench when you go anywhere. It might subconsciously make people avoid sitting near you.

Very rude behaviour and I'm glad you said something. I used to smoke and now I vape. I wouldn't sit next to anyone and do it.

What's worse is mums smoking over their prams,grim

On Tuesday I was in a waiting room for fetal medicine, so antenatal but people waiting on high risk scans. A mother of a pregnant lady sat vaping in the waiting room. Now I know the effects of vaping are controversial but I think it would be fairly standard to now do it in a hospital, never mind a room of pregnant women!

*not do it in a hospital

Ah, it wasn't clear from your op that it was such a short timeframe. She's an arsehole. I'd probably have done the same as you, pregnant or not, purely cause it's an ignorant thing to do... and I've nothing against smoking really! Just not right in my space for no good reason.

@Nichola2310

I moved witnessed the same and couldn’t believe it. What was worse was when a nurse came to say “please don’t do that” the woman made a huge song and dance about it was her right”. She begrudgingly put it away and then kept sneaking it when she thought no staff could see. Eventually they had to threaten to eject her and the rant that came out of her mouth was unbelievable! “I’m not a child, how dare you tell me what to do etc”! I could not believe it! Her poor daughter just sat there mortified! It was awful!

Once* not moved!! Stupid old phone!

gamerchick
Summers here grin

Yes I expect there to be the martyred 'we are outside all year' Bs that smokers post

Why didn't you move?

She did, but why should she have to?

I find it unlikely she was blowing it all over you in the exaggerated way you've outlined

Why? I know quite a few smokers and ex smokers that do/did this.