Please talk me down from my panic

[SuperVeggie]

Hello, hoping for some words of reassurance after magazine to get myself into a right state. I got my first BFP last Tuesday and have done a total of 5 tests between then and Sunday, all were positive and with line getting stronger. Should be around 5 weeks now. Last week I had some cramping, AF sort of feeling, which has since gone away and I thought it was probably implanatation. I had been feeling sick since before my BFP so I was ok over the bank holiday and felt happy with how things are going as I ‘felt pregnant’.

However yesterday I didn’t feel sick at all and had no real prenancy symptoms other than a slight occasional pain on lower left abdomen/hip. I also had a shit day at work. I stupidly spent the evening on google looking up the pain and have now managed to convince myself that either I’ve got an ectopic pregnancy or that I’ve just somehow stopped being pregnant and I will miscarry soon. I got myself so worked up that I was shaking with anxiety by the time I went to bed. I have been awake since 4am today worrying. I am even worrying that I was fine until last night but the worrying and anxiety will have harmed the baby.

The rational part of my brain thinks I am almost definitely not having an ectopic - the pain is very mild and very occasional and I have no other symptoms. I’m sure there is also some logical explanation why I didn’t feel sick. However I have convinced myself that ‘I just know’ that things have gone wrong. I feel like I can’t speak to the doctors because I have no idea what I’d say, “Hi, yes I’ve taken 5 pregnancy tests in a week and they’re all positive but I’m worried I’m not pregnant anymore even though I haven’t had any bleeding”. What an idiot.

Sorry for the rambling - please can someone calm me down and get me to snap out of this! Oh and tell me sternly never to go on google ever again.

*managing not magazine!

I also convinced myself that I was having an ectopic at 7 weeks. Rang my hospital and asked to have a scan, they said yes and everything was fine. Heartbeat seen. It was just round ligament pain.

5 weeks is probably too early to see any sort of a heartbeat (which is the ultimate reassurance imo), but give your hospital a call and describe your symptoms. See what they recommend. If they won’t book an early scan, you could always get a private one in a couple of weeks.

Honestly, most people I know have convinced themselves they were having an ectopic. I’m pretty sure that once you’ve conceived, the ovary that released your egg stays swollen for a while. That was also the case with me as the sonographer could tell that my egg had come from the right hand side as my ovary was still swollen at 7 weeks. That could also cause the pain.

Hi, I had the same. BFP at 4 weeks then a week of sore boobs, feeling queasy, bloated etc and awful cramps, equal to or worse than period pain at times that went on for days, then a week later everything stopped and I went back to feeling in no way pregnant. Had a week or 2 of feeling queasy again around week 12 but other than that I've felt pretty much myself throughout and my pregnancy has been completely normal and straightforward. I'm now 38 weeks. It'll be fine, although I do remember how crap it is in the wait until the first scan.

Hi Super I know this is a worrying time for what it is worth I was never sick with either of mine and never really felt pregnant until I started showing . I think you are obviously obsessing about pregnancy as we all do but at this stage if the pregnancy is going to fail nothing you do or don’t do will change this. If you can try to relax and focus on other things. None of the things you describe above suggest anything other than normal pregnancy twinges. Congratulations and try and enjoy it

In both my pregnancies the symptoms would come and go. I also had the mild pain you describe. Both resulting in healthy babies. Only 1 to 2% of pregnancies are ectopic, so there’s a 98% (or higher) chance you’re fine.

Also you could have your doctor check your HCG level. This can pick up if it’s ectopic.

Thank you both, I might ring the docs tomorrow but not sure. I sway between thinking I’m being ridiculous and everything is probably fine and then thinking oh god everything is going wrong! I have had some pretty serious health problems in the past and for a while I didn’t know if I would even be ‘allowed’ to try to get pregnant. But I was and we were successful the second month. So I’m not sure if this is just a bit of shock and things sinking in or if I’ve developed health anxiety due to previous issues. Either way I’m shitting myself!

I'm sorry that you're feeling so worried - early pregnancy is really tough

I've had an ectopic, and in my experience the pain was very sharp - it hurt a lot. One of the main symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy is shoulder tip pain, which it doesn't sound like you've got. Remember that symptoms like nausea come and go - that's completely normal. I got pregnant again after my ectopic (and am up feeding the resulting baby right now!) and drove myself crazy over-analysing my symptoms (or lack thereof at times). Easier said than done, but step away from google; you'll always be able to find some random thread on some random message board to support whatever you're worried about.

If you're worried, do speak to your GP. As another poster has suggested, a private scan at 6/7 weeks might be reassuring if that's a possibility for you. Chances are, though, that everything's completely fine.

Thank you, yes maybe I will go to GP and ask them to check HGC levels rather than call hospital/EPU. I will keep trying to focus on the 98% chance that things are fine! I will try to get the docs appointment this morning but promise myself that I will stay off google.

Not sure how I’m going to make it through the next 35 weeks if my anxiety is going to stay this bad! but focusing on how it’s out of my control is strangely comforting. Whatever will happen, will happen I guess! And I know worrying won’t help.

Hiya,
I found out I was pregnant around 5 weeks and the only symptom I had was horrendous pain (like a very bad period not sharp as described above). That went on for a good couple of weeks. He's now 11 weeks old and lying next to me. It's a very scary time and there will be a number of times you worry about a range of things. Try and keep off google (probably bad advice because I googled everything!) and good luck :) x

I found things got easier once I'd had my twelve week scan and then again once I could feel the baby moving. The first bit was definitely the worst, as all I had to rely on were my symptoms and I'd go into a blind panic if I suddenly felt less sick or if my breasts weren't as sore.

Hang on in there and take one day at a time

Thank you so much, each of these messages is making me feel a little bit better. The early days are especially hard when you’ve got no one to talk to in real life! My DH is lovely but just makes vague generic noises like “oh I’m sure everything is fine” and then wanders off to get a biscuit

I had zero symptoms throughout the first 23 weeks, I counted myself lucky, and then bam 24 weeks and I have had thrush on and off, UTI like symptoms and baby’s kicking my bladder. Now at 27 weeks I feel like I was worrying too much and I should have just enjoyed having no symptoms because now I’m sore all over all the time! Don’t worry about no symptoms, as long as there is no bleeding or physical signs of miscarriage, I’m sure you will be perfectly fine :) keep your doctors appointments and nhs scans in mind as a sort of goal xx